


Secrets

by KofiLife



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drug Use, F/F, Love, Multi, Sex, Student Clarke Griffin, Teacher Lexa (The 100), Teacher-Student Relationship, Teasing, Toxic Clarke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 58,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27837595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KofiLife/pseuds/KofiLife
Summary: Lexa takes a gap year from her career as a writer and gets a job at Polis high school. She assumes she'll have a relaxing year but everything changes as soon as she meets Clarke Griffin.Clarke Griffin seems like a party girl but there's more to her than meets the eye.Lexa tries to battle her feelings but there's just something about Clarke that Lexa can't get enough of.This story follows Lexa's time in Polis, with lust, drama, laughter and love.
Relationships: Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin & Everyone, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Costia/Lexa (The 100), Raven Reyes/Kyle Wick
Comments: 129
Kudos: 365





	1. Welcome to Polis High

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who read and left comments and kudos for You Belong To Me.  
> This ones a little different, hope you enjoy.  
> Please feel free to ask any questions or give any suggestions.

**1\. Welcome to Polis High**

“Alexandria Woods right?”

Lexa glanced up from her newspaper to find brown eyes belonging to a fiery looking latina. It was her first day at Polis high, teaching English and special education. She'd made sure to get there early, perhaps too early considering she was situated in the break room with her second cup of coffee and still had half an hour left before the bell went.

“Right,” She smiled, hoping to make a good first impression, “I'm Lexa and you are?”

“Raven Reyes,” The woman gave her a lopsided grin, sticking out a hand that Lexa readily shook, “I teach chemistry and mechanics.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“Did someone say pleasure?” A voice sounded from the doorway.

Lexa looked up and just about passed out. The most beautiful woman she'd ever seen was leaning against the door frame. Lexa's eyes took her in greedily. Up those smooth legs, a dress falling halfway up shapely thighs. A generous swell of hips that she wanted to grab, one cocked against the door frame. A flat but soft looking stomach leading to very generous breasts and a teasing amount of cleavage. A delicate neck. Blonde hair in casual curls around her shoulders. An extremely pretty face with pouty lips, pulled up into a smirk. And sparkling blue eyes, dancing with amusement. Eyes that were looking directly at her, knowing exactly what she'd just been doing.

“I know a thing or two about that,” The blonde teased, a naughty lilt in her tone.

“Coffee?” Raven asked the blonde, not waiting for an answer before turning to the coffee maker and grabbing two cups from the hooks above.

“Who's this?” The blonde nodded towards Lexa. Sauntering over, hips swaying before leaning her elbows on the table in front of Lexa. Giving Lexa an even better look at that cleavage. An intoxicating scent drifting off the blonde and settling low in Lexa's belly.

“Lexa,” Raven supplied, “New teach.”

“Ah,” The blonde pursed her lips, cocking her head to the side, “Aren't you a little too sexy to be a teacher?”

Lexa just about choked on her coffee. She was not expecting _that_.

“Aren't you just a little too sexy in general?” Lexa fired back. Speaking before thinking. She should _not_ of said that but a sexy smile graced the blondes face and she just about melted.

“Quick mouth,” The blonde mused, “What else can it do?”

“Behave!” Raven scolded, planting a firm smack on the blondes ass.

“Oh come on, Rae,” The blonde mock groaned with her smile still firmly in place, “Let me have some fun.”

“By the size of that hickey on the back of your shoulder, you've had plenty of fun, Clarkey,” The latina teased, poking a spot on the blonde's shoulder that Lexa couldn't see, before tilting her head towards the door and pressing a cup of coffee into the blonde's hands, “Come on, you. Walk me to my class.”

The blonde – Clarkey, apparently – rolled her eyes but sauntered out of the room anyway but not before throwing Lexa a wink.

“Catch you at lunch,” Raven smiled, “Good luck, Lexa.”

“Thanks,” Lexa smiled. Once again left alone only this time there was one thought on her mind. _What the fuck just happened?_

\- - - - - - - - - -

Twenty minutes into her first English class and things were going pretty well until the door swung open, revealing the very same blonde that she'd met in the break room earlier. The blonde was looking guilty as she slipped into the room.

“Clarkey?”

“Um,” The blonde shot her a look somewhere between amused and annoyed, “It's just Clarke. Sorry I'm late.”

She watched the blonde slip into an empty seat next to a boy with floppy hair but not before pressing her lips to his for a short but dirty, open mouthed kiss and causing the other students to let out wolf whistles. And holy fuck, _of course_ this gorgeous blonde was a fucking _student_. A student she'd _flirted_ with.

“Please wait outside, just Clarke,” Lexa said shortly.

“What? Why?” Clarke frowned. And _God_ , she looked so beautiful when she frowned.

“You're causing disruption in my class, outside please.”

She waited for the blonde to leave before settling the class down and waiting a good five minutes before following. Taking a deep breath before heading outside to confront Clarke.

This was going to be uncomfortable. To say Lexa was dreading it wouldn't be an understatement. This girl was clearly going to cause trouble. Not to mention that Lexa had _flirted_ with the blonde.

But when she stepped out of her classroom it was like a punch to the gut, Clarke was nowhere to be seen.

\- - - - - - - - - -

When lunchtime came, Lexa found herself in the cafeteria being waved over by Raven, who was sitting at a table with two other people. Lexa assumed them to be teachers. Making her way to the table, her mind wandered to Clarke, she couldn't see her anywhere and it made her wonder where Clarke ate her lunch. With a group of friends on the field maybe? Or off campus? She shook her head, she _shouldn't_ be thinking about Clarke. She settled into the chair that Raven had kicked out for her, sending polite smiles to the pair she didn't know.

“Guys, this is Lexa,” Raven jerked her thumb towards Lexa, “Lexa, this is Kyle Wick, biology and physics, and Costia DiLaurentis, art and math.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you both,” Lexa said automatically and then pursed her lips, the word 'pleasure' reminding her of a certain blonde.

“Yeah, welcome,” Kyle sent her a charming smile, bowing his head in jest.

“It's good to meet you,” Costia said, giving Lexa a once over with a big smile on her face, “How are you finding it?”

“Uh...” Lexa paused. She wasn't sure what to say. She wanted to lay low here, be more of an observer. It was her first day after all but these guys were the professionals and if they had some advice then it might work out well for her, “It's been good, except...there is this one student. They disturbed class a bit, so I sent them outside but they'd disappeared by the time I went to get them.”

“They just up and left, didn't wait?” Raven's features morphed into surprise, “Ha! That's hilarious! That kid has some nerve, which one was it?”

“I'd rather not say,” Lexa bit her lip, “I just don't want to name and shame if the student was just having an off day or something,” She took a dubious look at Raven but was relieved to find the Latina nodding in understanding, “What would you guys do about it?”

She glanced around the table, receiving a reassuring smile from Costia.

“I usually talk to them, try and understand why they're acting out but if that fails then I send them to the principal's office,” Costia explained, her eyes never leaving Lexa.

“I don't know,” Kyle weighed in, “I just shout at the little fuckers, they fall in line if you're scary enough.”

“Shut up!” Raven shoved his shoulder with a chuckle, “Talking is good but with your student disappearing on you...I think an after school detention is in order.”

“Detention,” Lexa mulled it over, “Maybe that's a good idea.”

“If you need any other advice or just someone to talk to, I'm here,” Costia smiled flirtatiously.

Lexa smiled tightly, giving her a thankful nod.

“Some people are coming over to mine for a little get together tomorrow night,” Raven nudged her, “You should come.”

A genuine smile graced Lexa's lips, she couldn't help but be thankful for just how welcoming Raven Reyes was, “What time?”

“Around six, give me your number so I can text you my address.”

Lexa nodded enthusiastically, grabbing her phone from her pocket. Maybe she'd fit in here after all.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Lexa wasn't sure when she'd see Clarke again to inform her about her detention but when she looked at the roll call of her senior class for special education she noticed 'Clarke Griffin'. She also noticed, with relief, that the floppy haired boy, 'Finn Collins' didn't share that class.

She waited by the door until the students entered, counting on catching the blonde on her way into the room. She saw Clarke on her way down the hallway on the back of another blonde girl and with two brunettes, a girl and a boy, flagging her. She watched Clarke dismount from her piggyback ride and give the others goodbye hugs, except for the brunette girl who she linked arms with.

“A word, Miss Griffin,” Lexa stopped the blonde before she could make it through the door.

Clarke rolled her eyes, nodding to the brunette girl to continue as she paused in front of Lexa. Lexa struggled to school her features, her eyes straying from ample cleavage to full lips until she found the narrowed, blue eyes looking straight through her.

“You've earned yourself a detention,” Lexa licked her lips, “I expect to see you after school.”

Clarke pursed her lips, her eyes scanning Lexa's face and it took everything in Lexa not to squirm. Thankfully the blonde relented, nodding her head in understanding and slipping into the room.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Three-thirty came and Lexa heard knuckles wrapping on the open door of her classroom.

“You're late,” Lexa stated, not bothering to look up from the paperwork on her desk.

She heard Clarke scoff, stomping her way across the room and sitting heavily at a desk. Lexa decided not say anything else.

She gave herself a couple of minutes to find some composure before letting herself look at Clarke. The girl was busy with her nose in a sketchbook, her pencil working away and Lexa let herself indulge, taking Clarke in properly.

She noticed the little things. How Clarke's skin looked incredibly smooth, how her hair fell in front of her face only to be shoved back, behind her ear by manicured fingers every so often. The little pinch of concentration between two well sculpted eyebrows. Her pink tongue peeking out from between plump, soft looking lips. The pencil tapping the girls chin every once in a while when she paused to take in whatever was on the page in front of her. Eyes scanning the sketchbook thoughtfully.

Her attention got pulled lower, to that impressive cleavage Lexa's mind never seemed far from. She couldn't help her thoughts from running wild.

She imagined Clarke straddling her. Breathy moans leaving that sinful mouth. Her dress pulled down to her waist. Her large tits pressed against Lexa's open mouth. She wondered if they'd feel heavy in her hands. What her nipples would look like, their size, if they'd be pink or dusky. If they'd pebble at her touch, if they'd stiffen under the swipe of her tongue.

She'd pay a lot of attention to those tits. She'd spend afternoons playing with them. She'd swipe and tug at those nipples, pulling as many noises out of the blonde as she could in the process. She wondered if Clarke would be loud or not. She wondered if Clarke's nipples were sensitive. She longed to bury her face in those tits and pull flesh into her mouth until it was stuffed by those delicious boobs.

Her eyes drifted lower, to smooth, soft looking legs.

She wondered if Clarke's skin would be as soft as it looked. She imagined herself spreading those thighs, with Clarke sprawled out on her desk, dress rucked up. Panting hotly. Desire and hunger in her blue eyes. Lexa's thumbs tracing upwards on the inside of her thighs. Fingers begging to reach the promised land. Itching to bury themselves within.

Lexa's eyes widened when the thighs she was staring at fell open. Giving her an eyeful of white, cotton panties with little pink hearts on them. _Naughty girl, innocent panties._ Her mouth falling open. She licked her lips, her mouth filling with saliva. _Seriously?_ She was _drooling_ over this girl now? Lexa couldn't get enough, greedily taking in the image, hoping to commit it to memory.

She'd assumed Clarke wasn't aware of the free show she was giving but when she finally found the strength to look away from _heaven,_ her heart just about stopped. Blue eyes were fixed on her, lips pursed into a half smirk and eyebrows raised in amusement.

_Oh._

Lexa swallowed thickly, she could _feel_ the heat tinging her cheeks and she just _knew_ the tips of her ears were turning red. Her ears _always_ turned red. She noticed Clarke crossing her legs and willed herself not to look at the movement. She found herself comparing Clarke to the sun. So beautiful but you weren't supposed to look directly at it.

Lexa _wasn't_ supposed to look. She cleared her throat awkwardly, tearing her eyes away from blue, glancing at the clock and realising she'd spend almost all of Clarke detention fantasizing about the her.

“Uh...you can go now,” Lexa said quietly, hoping beyond hope that her voice wasn't giving away her arousal.

She watched Clarke stand up, shoving her sketchbook into her bag. Lexa wished she could say something, _anything_ , to make this situation _slightly_ better. The blondes retreating form snapped her out of her stupor.

“Don't be late tomorrow.”

Clarke paused halfway out the door, hand resting on the door jam as she looked back at Lexa, giving her a once over.

“No promises,” The blonde said evenly, winking before she went on her way.

Lexa blew out a deep breath. Only one thought running through her mind.

_I am fucked._

\- - - - - - - - - -

Madison, in Lexa's opinion, was incredible. At two and a half years old, with her big blue eyes, mop of curly, brown hair and petite features, she was the epitome of cute. And Lexa had fallen in love with her straight away.

She'd first met Madison a week before she moved. Marcus and Madison had come up to Ton DC to help her get packed up, although Madison wasn't _particularly_ helpful.

She was a shy toddler, she didn't smile much. She didn't talk much either and when she did it was very quiet but she'd stolen Lexa's heart. Within the week that they'd stayed, Madison had also grown attached to Lexa. Reaching for her over Marcus, wanting to stay close to Lexa. Lexa could even coax soft giggles from the otherwise stoic toddler from time to time.

So when Marcus asked if she could babysit a few afternoons a week and some sleepovers, she was only too happy to oblige. She loved spending time with the little brunette. That's how she found herself covered in paint, with Madison covered in paint and with, _well_ , her entire kitchen covered in paint.

“I think we made a mess, don't you?” Lexa asked, eyes falling to the toddler.

The little girl looked around the room with big eyes before nodding, glancing at Lexa from underneath long, dark lashes with a little smile.

They carried on painting for a little while. Madison being very careful and with purpose while Lexa just kind of blobbed her paintbrush on the paper.

“Lessa?” Madison said, so quiet that Lexa would've missed it had she not been listening for the toddler.

“Yes, little one?”

“I want my Mommy.”

It wasn't uncommon, Madison often asked for her Mommy. Sometimes she cried for her Mommy and sometimes she had tantrums for her Mommy. Lexa had found the best way to deal with it was distraction. She swept her fingers through Madison's soft curls.

“I know,” She smiled sadly, “How about we make a picture for my desk at work? At the moment I have no pictures on it but I'd like to have something special that makes me think of you.”

Madison's eyes widened as she nodded her head, making Lexa smile.

“Right,” She grabbed a fresh paint brush, “First, we pick a colour.”

Lexa waited as Madison carefully looked at each colour, obviously taking her job seriously, much to Lexa's approval. After much consideration she pointed to the pink with a certain nod.

“Great choice, little one. Now hold your hand up like this,” Lexa showed her how and as soon Madison held her hand flat, Lexa painted it pink. Making Madison squirm, a tiny laugh bubbling from her belly as the brush tickled her.

“All done,” Lexa laughed, grabbing a fresh piece of paper, she carefully took Madison's hand and pressed it. Smiling at how perfect the print came out, “There, what do you think?”

The little brunette looked between her and the print for a moment, eyes wide. The look of wonderment on her face making Lexa laugh.

“It's perfect!” Lexa poked her tummy, making her smile, “Bath time?”

Madison nodded, reaching her arms up for Lexa to pick her up. Her hand landing on Lexa's cheek, smearing pink paint on it.

“Pretty Lessa,” Madison smile, making Lexa laugh, “I love you.”

Warmth spread through Lexa's chest. She held the little girl close to her, cradling her, “I love you too, little one.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

After the day she'd had she wasn't sure why she was doing this, she wasn't a teacher. She was a writer. And yeah, maybe Anya – yes sister but also manager - thought this was a great idea but if everyday was going to be an emotional whirlwind like today then she wasn't sure she could actually handle it. And if she was going to be honest with herself her biggest issue was Clarke.

She'd never been quite so _taken_ with someone at first sight. There was just something about the blonde, Lexa couldn't get her mind off her. She found Clarke fascinating. Yes, Clarke's body was phenomenal and Lexa couldn't keep her mind _or eyes_ off it but there was more to it than that. When those expressive, blue eyes fixed on her, Lexa felt it with her whole heart. There was such depth to them, like Clarke was hidden to the world.

Her thoughts went back to her sister. She'd asked Anya if she could take a year out, do something different. Have a break from living in hotel rooms because she was always on book tours. Have a break from sleeping, eating and _breathing_ writing in between book signings. And Anya had given it to her. She'd arranged for Lexa to have her year near their uncle, Marcus as per Lexa's request and luckily uncle Marcus had helped her find the job. She'd wanted to keep busy. She really should call Anya in the morning.

She couldn't let herself get attached to this student. She couldn't let herself get involved. This year was about relaxing, making new friends – which she seemed to be doing in the form of Raven Reyes – and she was going to keep her mind _off_ of Clarke. Unless...

Fuck. _No_. Lexa couldn't do it. She needed to get Clarke Griffin out of her head.


	2. Not Party, Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that read, commented, left kudos and bookmarked <3

**2\. Not Party, Party**

_Lexa's tongue licked wetly into Clarke's mouth, making her whimper. Lexa was searching for dominance and almost achieved it, sucking the blonde's tongue into her mouth. But she pulled back sharply at the sudden pain of teeth biting into her bottom lip. Clarke smiled and Lexa licked her lips, tasting blood where Clarke had broken the skin._

_She blinked at the blonde in surprise and dove straight in, fisting the blonde's hair roughly and walking her backwards until Clarke was slammed against the wall. Clarke moaned into her mouth and Lexa's fingers sank into fleshy hips._

“ _Take me, Lexa,” Clarke panted into her mouth, “Make me yours.”_

Lexa woke with a start, heart beating fast. Breathing uneven and a light sheen of sweat covering her skin.

“Fuck.”

This was bad. She _had_ to _not_ have sex dreams about her student. She glanced at the clock.

Fuck yes, she needed to call Anya.

“Ahn?” Lexa said when she only heard rustling on the other end of the phone.

“ _Yeah, yeah. I'm here, Squid. I'm just looking at the room service menu. If you're going to call me this early to talk then at least I can stuff my face.”_

“You know...you could've stayed with me,” Lexa pointed out.

“ _What and put up with you kicking me and snoring all night?”_

“I do have a spare room, Anya.”

“ _Unfurnished. Besides why would I give up my nice, paid for hotel room with room service and a maid just to spend time with_ you _?”_

Lexa rolled her eyes. Her sister, always the charmer. Why had she called Anya immediately after getting ready again?

“Oh, I know,” Lexa scoffed, “I _am_ the one paying for it.”

“ _Damn straight you are since I have to put up with you,”_ More rustling, _“So how was your first day?”_

Ah, that was the reason.

“Uh...” Lexa bit her lip, glancing round her sitting room, “I kinda have an issue.”

“ _Oh good,”_ She could _hear_ the sarcasm dripping from Anya's words, _“What is it?”_

Lexa let out a deep sigh, “I'm in love with a student because she flashed me her panties.”

“ _You don't teach kindergarten, do you?”_

“Anya!” Lexa face palmed.

“ _Alright, alright. How are you_ in love _? It's only been a day!”_

“I don't know, I just...” She scrubbed a hand down her face, “She's amazing, Anya.”

“ _Jesus. My little sister, one day on the job and already whipped by teenage pussy. Mom would be so proud.”_

For fuck sake, Anya, she _did not_ need to hear _that_.

“Anya, please,” She sighed, “I'm being serious. I don't know what to do.”

“ _I'm just saying, this girl must have some magical tits for you to be so into her so fast.”_

“I...” Well, she couldn't exactly argue with that, “Yeah.”

“ _You've always been a boob girl,”_ Anya teased.

“What am I going to do?”

“ _First things first, is she legal?”_

“Yeah, she's seventeen.”

“ _Okay, then you're going to suck it the fuck up and you're going to do your fucking job. Sound good?”_

“I...yeah, okay,” Lexa pouted.

“ _Do you want to quit your job so you can fuck her?”_

“No, that would be...”

“ _Incredibly stupid? A fucking train wreck? A total shit show?”_

“Yeah, I guess.”

“ _Great, so just do what all the other teachers at that school probably do, rub one out and then go teach to the best of your mediocre ability.”_

Her nose wrinkled at the thought, her mind immediately going to Kyle Wick. She'd noticed him checking out some of the female students. She sighed, “Thanks for your help, Ahn.”

“ _You owe me.”_

She frowned, “I'm your sister.”

There was a brief pause on Anya's side, _“You owe me double.”_

Lexa rolled her eyes, scrubbing a hand down her face.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She had to get through today. Then she could go to Raven's tonight and hopefully make a good impression.

Her students filtered in slowly and she noticed one was missing straight away. _Clarke_. Of course.

By the time Clarke slipped through the door, the other students were reading their assigned chapter. The blonde had the decency to look slightly sheepish as she crept to Lexa's desk.

“Shall I see you at three o'clock?” Clarke asked lowly, a teasing smile on her face.

“Yes, detention,” Lexa rolled her eyes, “It seems that you just can't get enough of me.”

Clarke's eyebrows rose in surprise at the joke while Lexa cringed. Blue met green.

“Apparently not,” Clarke winked, walking to her seat with an extra sway in her hips.

An extra sway that Lexa _did not_ ogle.

Thirty minutes later and while every other student studied their books, Lexa studied Clarke. Who was _not_ doing what she was supposed to. She _still_ hadn't picked up her book. The blonde was busy sketching away. Lexa figured she'd let the blonde get away with it for long enough so with a sigh she crossed the room, wordlessly taking the sketchbook and sending the blonde a pointed look. She tapped her fingers on the cover of the book that Clarke was _supposed_ to be reading and returned to her desk.

When she happened to glance down at the open sketchbook, she did a double take and wished she hadn't. There, in her hand was a very detailed sketch of a woman, who was without a doubt Lexa, looking up as she went down on another woman.

_Well, fuck._

She glanced up and _of course_ the blonde was smirking at her, she took a closer look at the sketch. The image was as if someone was looking down at her, between their spread thighs. Making eye contact. Her mouth open, her tongue out, disappearing beneath a rucked up skirt.

 _Fuck_.

Lexa had to cross her legs. Her mind immediately imagining she was between the blonde's thighs. Clarke's fingers threaded through her hair, tugging her closer. Tasting Clarke.

 _Fuck_.

Was she _really_ thinking about tasting Clarke with a classroom full of students? Her cheeks turned pink, she swallowed thickly. This 'getting Clarke out of her head' was _really_ working out for her. She slammed the sketchbook shut quickly, dropping it on her desk. Clarke could have it back after school.

Her eyes found Clarke again, the blonde was still smirking at her. It felt like the blonde could read her mind. Maybe Clarke could tell she was turned on. She _hoped_ not.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She wondered where she went wrong in life to be sharing her lunch break with Kyle Wick. But when he'd waved her over to his empty table she thought it would be rude to decline or simply _bolt_ in the other direction. It wasn't that she didn't like Wick, except that's exactly what it was. She found him arrogant, rude and sexist. The latter coming quickly into conversation after she sat down.

“Do you have Clarke Griffin in any of your classes?”

“Yes,” She replied dubiously, eyes narrowing.

Wick leant closer to her, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, “Caught her in the supply closet with her boyfriend.”

Lexa fixed her eyes on him. This was literally the _last_ conversation she'd ever want to have. The suggestive look on Wick's face telling her that she knew _exactly_ where this conversation was going. She hoped that her steely gaze would shut him up but _no_.

“Fuck, I got an eyeful,” He leered, “That Clarke is...” He blew out an appreciative breath, “I mean, you probably don't get this because you're a chick but for a guy? Damn, that body is _made_ for fucking.”

Lexa's eyebrows rose in surprise. She absolutely _did_ know how attractive Clarke was, she didn't need to be a 'guy' to notice _that_. She wasn't blind. But she was surprised that Kyle Wick, a _teacher_ , would comment on it. Especially to _her_. She was new and he didn't know her at all.

That's when Lexa decided to hate herself because with how much she'd been thinking about Clarke, she was similar to _Kyle fucking Wick_.

He looked at her expectantly. For what? She had no idea. What was she supposed to say? Bump shoulders with him and agree with what a _'fuckable body'_ Clarke had? No. She went with what she hoped would be a safer option.

“I'm surprised the kids would fool around at school.”

“Oh, they were doing more than that,” He chuckled, “She was bent over, getting her fill of sausage, if you know what I mean.”

Lexa sighed in exasperation. _Yes, Wick, everyone knows what you mean._

“Did you send them to the principal?”

“Nah. No harm done,” He shook his head with a chuckle, “I just hope that if I catch them again, Finn Collins has the decency to take her bra off, if I have to see his bare ass then the least he could do is give me a peek at his girlfriend's tits.”

Lexa felt bile rise in her throat, her jaw tightening. How _vile_ did Kyle Wick need to be? Vile fucking Kyle.

Luckily she was saved having to reply to _that_ by Raven enthusiastically waving as she came over. Plonking into the seat next to Lexa.

“You're coming tonight, right?” Brown eyes fixed expectantly on Lexa.

“Yes,” Lexa confirmed with a smile, “Should I bring anything?”

“Just your pretty face,” Raven smiled, “Unless you've got any pals you want to bring?”

Lexa shrugged, “I don't have any friends here, just my sister.”

“Bring her.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

Lexa was slightly nervous when she'd turned up at Raven's house, Anya hot on her heels only to find Raven looking confused.

“What are you doing here?” Raven asked, ushering them inside.

“You said tonight at six,” Lexa frowned, “Did I get it wrong?”

She heard a snicker from her left and turned to see none other than Clarke Griffin. The girl that had been in detention with Lexa only three hours ago, who just sat through the hour with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. The same girl that Lexa couldn't get off her mind no matter what. Lexa's mouth went dry.

The blonde was sitting casually on a kitchen counter, in soft looking pajama pants and a red, worn looking sweater. Hair messily piled on top of her head in a bun, her face free of make up. She looked _beautiful_ to Lexa.

“If Raven says six she means _eight_ ,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes with a smile.

“Clarke?” Lexa said, a confused look on her face, not missing the subtle smirk Anya sent her way.

“She's my cousin,” Raven explained, “She got the boobs, I got the brain.”

The cousins shared a laugh.

A low whistle was let out by Anya, “Damn, some good looking genetics in that family.”

“Anya, right?” Raven waited for a nod of confirmation, “You're one to talk, have you _seen_ your cheekbones? Have you seen _Lexa's_?”

Anya smirked, looking Raven up and down, “Touché.”

Lexa grimaced. The last thing she needed was to witness Anya flirting, just the _thought_ crept her out. Her eyes caught Clarke's, who had a similar look on her face as Lexa and they shared a knowing smile.

\- - - - - - - - -

Lexa and Anya had helped Raven set up for her 'party'. Raven saying it wasn't, in fact, a party every time someone referred to it as one. But apparently _'it's not a party unless everyone gets shit faced and there's at least one orgy'_ according to Raven. And setting up for the 'not party' only entailed ordering pizza, turning music on and setting out cups and alcohol.

Clarke had quickly disappeared into her room. And Lexa spent three hours cringing as Anya and Raven flirted, since people didn't show up until nine. People consisted of Costia, who was _not_ subtle about flirting with her. A guy named Monty and his girlfriend Harper. Kyle Wick, who, much to Lexa's astonishment, was apparently Raven's casual boyfriend. And Jackson and Miller, who, according to Raven, just needed to fuck already.

By ten, Lexa was a little bit tipsy and had agreed to help Raven in the kitchen, making margaritas. Mostly to get away from Costia's flirting. Lexa had never been that good at flirting. She was watching Raven add tequila to the mix when Clarke entered the kitchen in a dress. Lexa's mouth fell open.

Her hair was in loose curls, her make up smoky and subtly sexy. Her heels boosting her height and her dress sticking to her curves, Lexa couldn't help but stare.

“Mm, tequila,” Clarke grinned, “Give me a couple of shots.”

“No way!” Raven scolded. Lexa assumed it was because Clarke was only seventeen and Raven was responsible for her but then Raven was pushing a bottle of vodka into Clarke's hands, “You're a bitch on tequila and I ain't cleanin' that up.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, taking a few healthy swigs straight from the bottle and impressively hardly wincing at all, “Anyway, how do I look?”

Raven immediately started gagging in jest, “Awful, disgusting, _so_ unattractive.”

Clarke giggled, pointing at Lexa, “I'm attractive, _Lexa_ finds me attractive.”

 _Oh, shit_. This was it, her cover was blown. Was there actually any cover to be blown in the first place though? After all the first thing she'd ever even said to Clarke was that she was sexy and that was in front of Raven.

“Lexa finding you sexy isn't a testimony to you being attractive,” Raven replied, tone patronizing, “It just means she needs glasses.”

“I...I have contacts,” Lexa said lamely.

The cousins looked from Lexa to each other before bursting out laughing.

“Alright,” Clarke grabbed her purse off the counter, blowing Raven a kiss, “I'm out of here, don't wait up!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Raven rolled her eyes, gaze following Clarke to the door, “Make good choices, Clarkey!”

The blonde stuck her head and some of her torso back through the door, her smirk naughty, “I won't do anything you wouldn't do,” she winked before slamming the door behind her.

“What wouldn't you do?” Anya asked, coming up behind them.

“I'll let you know if I find out,” Raven laughed with a shrug.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Lexa volunteered to help clean up after everyone left around one am, tomorrow was going to be a bitch. It wasn't even the weekend. Anya had gone home with a latecomer to the 'not party' named Echo, so she'd have to walk home alone but the clean up was going quickly and smoothly until she accidentally pulled something out from between the couch cushions. Holding up the light blue item for inspection, she gasped when she identified it as a thong.

“Ah, yes, the thrills of living with Clarke,” Raven laughed, noticing Lexa's wide eyes, “This is why I prefer kids over teenagers, they don't have opinions and they don't wear thongs.”

Lexa's mouth dropped open, realizing that this was _Clarke's_ thong. Immediately images of Clarke wearing nothing but the scrap of lace ran through her mind. It was at that moment their attention got pulled to the opening door.

There was Clarke, a pink tinge to her face and her hair and make up less perfect than it was when she left the house. A girl, Lexa recognized as Octavia Blake, on her left side and a boy that Lexa didn't know on her right. Both with their arms looped through Clarke's, keeping her steady.

“Hey,” A dopey smiled came to Clarke's face.

“Hey, drunkie,” Raven smirked, “Thanks for bringing her back, guys.”

“No problem,” The guy smiled, helping to transfer Clarke into Raven's waiting arms.

“Thanks, Bellamy,” Raven gave him a pat on the shoulder, “Did you have a good night?”

“Yeah, it was good but Finn was a no show so Clarke got a little mad,” Octavia shrugged.

Raven rolled her eyes, slapping Clarke's wandering hand away from her face, “She'll dump his ass eventually.”

“I hope so,” Octavia smiled.

“We better get off, goodnight,” The boy – Bellamy – nodded politely at them before steering Octavia out the door.

“Are those my panties?” Clarke slurred, eyeing Lexa suspiciously.

Lexa's eyes widened, she hadn't realized she was _still_ holding the offending item. She dropped the thong quickly, “Um, no.”

“What are we going to do with you?” Raven studied Clarke's face, “You stink.”

“How about you take me to bed and I'll _show_ you what you can do with me?” Clarke said, voice husky, arms wrapping around Raven's waist.

“I'm your cousin,” Raven laughed, wrinkling her nose.

“Sexuality is fluid, I could get it on with a trash can.”

“Thank you for that _beautiful_ image but let's get you to bed,” Raven saw Clarke's mouth open but quickly beat her to it, “To _sleep_!”

“You're no fun,” Clarke pouted and Lexa thought it was just about the cutest thing ever, well, except for Madison, “Lexa could put me to bed instead.”

Lexa froze, eyes fixed on Clarke's sexy smirk as Raven laughed.

“Lexa, you've been summoned,” Raven spun the blonde in her arms and shoved her towards Lexa.

Lexa had no choice but to catch Clarke. Her mouth going dry when her hands landed on soft curves. The blonde's chest pressing against hers, making her gulp.

“Bedroom's that-a-way,” Raven pointed out the door opposite the kitchen.

Lexa nodded, attempting to make quick work of helping the stumbling blonde into her room. Only it wasn't _work_ at all. Not to Lexa. Not with the way Clarke was pressed against her side, smelling intoxicating, body soft and her arm looped lazily around Lexa's neck.

“You always stare at my tits,” Clarke mumbled, thankfully quiet enough for only Lexa to hear.

“I have two, _very nice_ , reasons,” Lexa grumbled even quieter, feeling bad, "I'm sorry."

"I like it," Clarke said, making Lexa freeze for a second.

Eventually they were in Clarke's room and the blonde was much steadier after she'd kicked off her heels. Lexa took a moment to glance around the room that was so entirely _Clarke._ Seeing sketch after sketch everywhere. Lining the walls, covering the desk, piled on the dresser. The rest of the room was messy, bed unmade and clothes scattering the floor. It made Lexa feel warm, like she was getting a glimpse of who Clarke was. Lexa _loved_ Clarke's room.

“Um, goodnight then,” Lexa sent her a tight lipped smile.

Clarke just nodded, her attention not on Lexa at all, and flopped face first onto her bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!


	3. Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone whose left comments and kudos!
> 
> A special thank you to Zelda_and_fitz - I hope you understand why. (If this thing had a private messaging system then I'd say more). Just...thank you.
> 
> For anyone whose concerned with Clarke being overly sexual and Lexa being a little too...'useless lesbian-y'...  
> This story does have a plot, it's pretty slow getting there but this fic won't just be about a sexual relationship. I have plans. Clarke starts off incredibly slutty and she gets sluttier before she gets not so slutty but bare with her - there are reasons. And for Lexa, I'd like to think for Lexa it's just love at first sight (with an attraction that consumes her) but their relationship will change in many ways and become a lot of different things as this story progresses.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this one...

**3\. Break**

Lexa _was not_ expecting this, this morning. It'd been hard enough to drag herself out of bed after only getting a few hours sleep. She hadn't gotten to bed until half two and she'd clearly had more to drink than she remembered, if her pounding headache was anything to go by.

Still, she'd slurped down a couple of pain killers with a couple of sides of coffee and dragged herself to work on time. Ignoring Anya's text about how _'hot'_ Echo was last night. Thankfully her first class was quiet but apparently all good things had to come to an end.

Clarke stormed into the room – obviously late, Lexa assumed she would be - anger radiating off her. Mind clearly focused on one thing and one thing only. Lexa briefly wondered how the hell Clarke had the energy after getting so drunk last night but no, she was a girl on a mission. Lexa's eyes widened when she saw Clarke's clenched fist swing round, making harsh contact with Finn Collins' jaw. Lexa was behind her in seconds.

“You cheated on me!” She spat, making the entire class gasp and start whispering.

Finn, clutching his jaw, looked half scared, half angry, “What the hell?”

“You fucking cheated on me, Finn!”

“Yeah,” Finn lowered his voice, giving Clarke a knowing look, “You _know_ why.”

Realization seemed to hit Clarke and halted her for half a second before the anger was back full force, “You cheated on me because of _that_?! You mother fucker!”

Lexa caught Clarke around the waist seconds before Clarke could land another punch.

“Please, Clarke! I swear I won't do it again,” Finn said, desperation dripping from his voice.

Clarke scoffed, “Oh no, we're done,” She snarled, “You're free to fuck anyone you want, although I'm not sure how satisfied they'll be with your three inch prick!”

Finn's expression immediately turned to anger, “Don't act like you're better than me, Clarke. Everyone knows just how much of a _slut_ you are! Or are you forgetting why you had to drop out of school?”

It only took a second for Clarke to attempt to fling herself towards Finn with an angry cry, the force behind her movement propelling herself and Lexa forward enough for her to get one good hit in before Lexa was yanking her away and out the door. The blonde fighting against her hold the whole way.

“Clarke, please!” Lexa begged once they'd reached the hallway and were safe from any prying eyes or ears, “Please calm down.”

“Get the fuck off me!” Clarke spat, clawing at Lexa's arms until she was released.

As soon as Lexa let Clarke go she spun round, her fist connecting with the wall.

“Fuck!” Clarke screamed.

Lexa grabbed Clarke's shoulders, spinning the blonde to face her, “Clarke, you need to calm down.”

“What for?” Clarke hissed, “So I can go to the principle's office and get suspended?”

“No!” Lexa gasped, her expression softening, “So you don't _hurt_ yourself. I'm...I'm _not_ sending you to the principal, I...you can have detention with me after school.”

A small amount of anger left the blonde's face as she searched Lexa's eyes, they both knew this was special treatment, “Why?”

“Because I-” _Care_ , Lexa cut herself off, “I'll...I'll mark you as on time in this class, who have you got next?”

“Wick.”

Lexa recoiled at the mention of that asshole, “I'll excuse you from his lesson. You go...relax in the teachers lounge, okay? You're allowed in there because of Raven, right?”

Lexa watched as Clarke's eyebrows furrowed in confusion but she nodded slowly, turning in the direction of the teachers lounge but pausing, Lexa realized after a couple of seconds that she still had hold of Clarke's shoulders and dropped her hands quickly. Her eyes focusing on Clarke's retreating form.

“Clarke,” Lexa called out, pausing Clarke in her steps and waiting for blue eyes, “I won't let him get away with calling you that.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

“Just the woman I was looking for,” Raven beamed as she showed up in the teachers lounge.

Lexa had decided to skip out on the cafeteria today, in favor of _not_ being in the vicinity of Kyle Wick.

“Oh yeah?” She grinned at the Latina.

“That's right,” Raven smirked, dragging out the chair opposite and sitting down, “I wanna thank you for what you did for Clarke today.”

“Oh, it's no problem,” Lexa shrugged. She knew she technically shouldn't of let Clarke off with a detention, especially since she'd recommended Finn be suspended for his behavior. She just hoped no one would call her out on it.

“No, Lexa,” Raven waited for their eyes to connect, “It's a big deal. Clarke's...she's...going through stuff and having people on her side is...it's a _really_ good thing, Lexa. It means a lot to me.”

“I don't feel like it's a good thing,” Lexa sighed, honesty was the best policy right?

“She needs people,” Raven shrugged, a lopsided smile on her face, “You looking out for her is a good thing, Lex. She needs people in her corner.”

Lexa's mouth fell open, “Raven, I-”

“Seriously, Lexa. I want people who genuinely care about Clarke to be around her and you do. I can tell that you do.”

Lexa had literally no idea what to say so she just nodded dumbly. Yeah, she did care. She cared a lot. She was also certain that Clarke didn't need _anyone_ else in her corner as long as she had Raven Reyes.

“You should come over tomorrow night, it's burger night,” Raven smiled before her eyes widened, “Oo, you could bring your hot sister, too.”

“Yeah, okay,” Lexa smiled, “I can do that.”

“Good,” Raven paused for a moment, “So...did she hit him hard?”

Lexa burst out laughing, “Yeah, she punched him in the jaw twice before I could pull her outta there.”

“Atta girl,” Raven winked.

“She hit the wall too though, so maybe she should get her knuckles checked.”

“I doubt I'll be able to get her to do that, Clarke kinda does what Clarke wants to do,” Raven shrugged.

Lexa didn't doubt that for a moment.

“I can't believe that little ass wipe cheated on her though,” Raven groaned, “You'd think with that boy batting _way_ out of his league he'd try to be the perfect fucking boyfriend.”

“I was pretty surprised too,” Lexa nodded in agreement, “Clarke doesn't seem like the type of person one would cheat on.”

“I know right!” Raven shook her head, “I guess it says more about that moronic prick than it does about Clarke.”

“Yeah,” Lexa hummed her agreement, “I do have one question though.”

Brown eyes met hers, “Shoot.”

“No offence but _why_ are you with Kyle Wick?” Lexa asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“I know,” Raven chuckled, “He's a piece of work but he's pretty and he's low maintenance. Which is what I need right now, we aren't serious.”

Lexa hummed to herself. Maybe Wick was pretty. Maybe Wick was low maintenance. But surely those things were immediately cancelled out the moment he opened his mouth? She wondered if Raven knew how Kyle Wick talked about her cousin and her cousin's _'made to be fucked body'_. Probably not.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Three o'clock came and went. Clarke, who seemed a lot calmer than this morning, didn't look as though the silence was bothering her but it _was_ bothering Lexa. She desperately wanted to comfort Clarke.

“I'm...” She swallowed when those blue eyes fixed on her, why was she always such a stuttering mess in front of Clarke? “I'm sorry that your boyfriend...”

Clarke scoffed, “It's fine.”

“You're not upset?” Lexa asked in surprise.

Blue met green, “Lexa, he cheated on me because I wouldn't _'give it'_ to him when I was on my period. He's _nothing_ to cry over.”

Lexa's mouth fell open and Clarke smirked. She tried to ignore the way Clarke saying her name gave her butterflies.

“Yeah,” Clarke nodded, “He's _that_ much of an asshole.”

“Jesus,” Lexa breathed out, “That's...wow. He's an idiot, Clarke. Period or not, anyone would be an idiot to cheat on you.”

“Is that so?” Clarke teased, eyebrow quirked.

Lexa nodded furiously , “You're...you're _you_ , you're beautiful and...”

 _Oh shit_. Lexa's cheeks tinged pink. Had she really just called a _student_ beautiful? Judging by Clarke's giggle, _yes_ , she had.

“You think I'm beautiful?” Clarke cocked her head to the side and Lexa could just _tell_ that Clarke was trying not to laugh.

“I...no,” _What?_ Lexa frowned, “No, I don't.”

Lexa face palmed in embarrassment and Clarke let out a chuckle. The noise making Lexa smile. Their eyes connected once more, electricity passing between them before Lexa looked away, clearing her throat.

“Um...What did he mean?” Lexa asked after composing herself, “Finn. When he said you dropped out?”

The smile fell from Clarke's face and Lexa kicked herself. She'd give anything for that smile to return.

“I'm sorry,” Lexa said quickly, trying to remedy her mistake, “It's none of my business.”

The silence stretched and Lexa felt uncomfortable but it was less awkward than it had been before. She focused on returning some emails on her phone before Clarke's voice reached her again.

“Have you got a kid?”

“What?” Lexa frowned, eyes catching Clarke's before the blonde gestured to Lexa's desk, “Oh.”

She'd forgotten about Madison's framed hand print, sitting proudly on her desk and she couldn't help the grin from spreading over her face at the thought of the toddler.

“No,” Lexa shook her head, “She's my...” How the hell did she explain that situation? “I...um, I babysit for my uncle...sort of.”

Clarke frowned, “Sounds complicated.”

Lexa nodded.

“Kids can be fun though, right?” Clarke's teeth sank into her bottom lip, Lexa's eyes following the movement.

“Yeah,” Lexa agreed, her grin coming back full force, “She's amazing.”

Clarke sent her a smile, giving Lexa a soft look.

“Shit,” Lexa frowned when she noticed the clock, “I'm so sorry, Clarke. I was only keeping you until four and it's twenty past. I just...I didn't even notice.”

“It's fine,” Clarke smiled easily, “An extra twenty minutes seems like a good deal. I did _punch_ a boy.”

Lexa laughed at that and nodded, “Twice.”

“Twice,” Clarke laughed, making her way out, “Have a good evening, Lexa.”

“You too.”

Lexa let out a deep sigh. She was so fucked.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She use to run all the time. She hadn't quite found the time to yet, since she'd moved to Polis but tonight was the night. She had so much going on, she was hoping the exercise would be a stress reliever and also, maybe, help with her sexual frustration too. Being so worked up all the time was seriously getting embarrassing.

It'd always given her a bit of respite. She loved the way the wind felt, how her skin would be cold but her cheeks would get pink from the excursion. Anya sometimes went running with her too but Anya always made it into a competition and that wasn't what running was about for Lexa. Lexa liked to run to _think_.

And luckily there were many places to run near her house, she didn't have to drive anywhere.

She was halfway around the lake when she noticed none other than Clarke, sitting on a bench in the dark. She checked her watch, it was late, what the hell was Clarke doing out here? She slowed to a walk and made her way over, noticing Clarke's red rimmed eyes the closer she got.

“Clarke?” Blue met green but Clarke's eyes looked glazed over, she was clearly drunk, “Why are you out here so late? Especially alone?”

Clarke shrugged, sniffing a little bit, “Not alone, you're here.”

Lexa couldn't help but smile, “Let me walk you home?”

Clarke frowned, “Why do you keep helping me, Lexa?”

It was Lexa's turn to shrug, “Because I...” _Think you're wonderful,_ “I'm friends with Raven so...you know, I want to...” _Love you forever_ , “Um, look out for you.”

“I don't need you to look out for me.”

Lexa observed her for a moment. She knew Clarke was drunk and the blonde was probably sad too, there was no way she was just going to leave her there. She crouched down in front of Clarke, waiting for those blue eyes.

“Either I take you home or I call Raven, which would you prefer?”

Blue eyes narrowed, “I can't go home.”

“Why?” Lexa frowned.

“Because I-” Clarke cut herself off, shrugging her shoulders.

“Um...” Lexa panicked, she couldn't just leave Clarke here.

“Just take me back to yours so I can sleep.”

Lexa bit her lip, did she have another choice? “Okay but I need to make sure Raven's okay with it.”

Clarke nodded so Lexa went to stand up but Clarke caught her hand, “Just...tell her I'm drunk, don't tell her I'm...”

What? What could she be? _Oh._ It was then that Lexa noticed just how dilated Clarke's eyes were. She was on something other than alcohol.

“What did you take?”

“None of your business,” The blonde snarked.

She pulled out her phone.

“ _What?”_

“Hi, Raven,” Lexa chuckled, “I'm with Clarke, she's a little...sad so I was going to take her to mine to sleep it off. Is that okay?”

“ _Yeah, yeah, of course. Is she okay?”_

Lexa glanced back at the blonde but Clarke's focus was elsewhere, “I think so.”

“ _Just...I'm here if she wants to...”_

“Yeah, I get it,” Lexa hummed, “I think she does too.”

“ _Thanks, Lexa. Keep her safe and I'll see you tomorrow.”_

She pushed her phone back into her pocket, turning to see the blonde watching her with a lost look of her face. She sent Clarke a soft smile.

“Come on then,” Lexa nodded her head towards the direction of her house and they began walking.

They walked silently for ten minutes before Lexa had to break the silence.

“What happened tonight, Clarke?” She asked softly.

“I don't know,” Clarke sniffed, “I just...I had enough of everything and there's rumors going around about why me and Finn broke up.”

“What rumors?”

“Stupid rumors, some people are saying that I was the cheater and he told all his friends that he broke up with me because I'm fat,” Clarke shook her head.

“You're... _not_ ,” Lexa breathed out. The last thing she'd call Clarke was fat, she _loved_ Clarke's curves.

“It makes you feel shitty when people are saying it, I don't even know why I was with him.”

“Why were you?” Lexa asked curiously, taking her house keys out of her pocket when they'd reached their destination.

“He was a distraction,” Clarke said, shrugging sadly. Following Lexa inside and falling onto the couch.

Lexa silently thanked herself for cleaning up earlier, “Do you want anything to eat or drink?”

Clarke shook her head no, before big blue eyes met Lexa with a sad weight to them, “I did something stupid tonight.”

Lexa sat down next to her, she wasn't sure why Clarke was opening up but she wasn't going to question it. She doubted it would last long. She nodded for Clarke to continue.

“I slept with Niylah,” Clarke sniffed, eyes falling to the floor, “She's a friend of mine but she's been into me for years and I've always tried not to lead her on but now...”

“You feel like you've lead her on,” Lexa finished softly, Clarke nodded, “Why did you sleep with her?”

“ _She_ thinks I'm beautiful,” Clarke teased, knocking her shoulder against Lexa and letting out a sad laugh, “I'm so fucked up, I just wanted to feel good and I used her.”

“Clarke, if she's your friend then she'll understand,” Lexa tried to comfort her, “You and Finn broke up _today_ and you've clearly had a drink. Unless she's dumb then she'll know that this wasn't you trying to start something with her.”

Clarke searched her face for a minute before nodding, “You're right.”

“You slept with Niylah because you needed someone and she was there for you as a friend. And you and Finn broke up because he's a complete asshole who doesn't deserve you.”

Blue met green and suddenly Lexa felt too close. She could feel her heart beat getting faster. She could hear her breath hitching. And all she could focus on was Clarke and just how _close_ Clarke's face was to hers.

She could feel the heat radiating from Clarke's skin. She could see the lighter blue specks in her searching eyes. She could feel Clarke's hot breath, tickling her lips. And _fuck_ she was so consumed with Clarke, just _Clarke_. There was no place Lexa would rather be.

It felt like time was standing still, like the only people in the universe were her and Clarke. It would take nothing for her to just reach out and grab the blonde, gather her up into a safe embrace and protect her. Make her feel like she was worth the world because she _was_ worth the world to Lexa. Hide her away from dick heads like Finn and Wick.

But that thought made her pause. Was she any better? Why should she protect Clarke when maybe she was the one Clarke needed protecting from?

The lightest brush of Clarke's lips against hers had her pulling back quick enough to give herself whiplash, drawing in a deep breath and squeezing her eyes shut. Freezing in place.

“Clarke, we can't,” She whispered, so quiet she wasn't sure if Clarke had even heard.

“Where can I sleep?”

The natural rasp of Clarke's voice washed over her, it was so familiar to her now. So comforting. But there was no teasing lilt, there was no snark. It just sounded tired and empty now.

“Take my room, it's upstairs.”

Clarke said nothing more but Lexa felt the blonde move passed her. She didn't open her eyes again until Clarke was long gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please r & r <3


	4. Burger Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your feedback.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. <3

**4\. Burger Night**

She wanted to avoid Clarke after last night. She really did. And seeing as how the blonde had vanished when Lexa woke up, she was pretty sure that Clarke wanted to avoid her too. But life wasn't always that simple and Lexa wasn't _that_ lucky.

She was late when she entered the teacher's lounge but stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed it was occupied by the exact blonde she was hoping to _avoid_. Sitting at the table.

“What else do you want me to do?” Clarke sobbed into the phone that was pressed against her ear, tears streaming down her face. Her forehead resting against her other hand. She hadn't noticed Lexa, “Please, just-”

Lexa's eyes widened when she realized she could hear the other half of the blonde's conversation. It was a woman.

“ _The answer is no, Clarke.”_

The words were spoken harshly, the woman clearly not caring much that Clarke was crying.

“Please,” A sob left Clarke's throat, “If Dad was here-”

“ _He isn't here,”_ The woman's voice rose, her tone harsh and firm, _“The answer is no.”_

“Fuck you!”

Lexa was surprised that the phone didn't smash with how hard Clarke slammed it down on the table. Her face falling into her hands and sobs racked her body.

“Clarke?” Lexa breathed out unintentionally.

Clarke's face shot up at the sound. She wiped away her tears angrily.

“Leave me alone, Lexa,” She growled, “I don't care that I'm late for your _stupid_ class.”

“I wasn't going to...” Lexa trailed off. Did Clarke really think that Lexa was going to get at her for being late to class? It physically pained her to see the blonde so upset. She watched silently as Clarke typed furiously into her phone.

Lexa wanted to help, every fiber of her being ached to put a smile back on Clarke's face, “What can I do?”

“Nothing,” Clarke snapped, “Just leave me alone.”

“I...I want to help, I-”

“Why?” Clarke's anger got directed at her, making Lexa gulp, “We aren't _friends_ , Lexa.”

“I-”

Lexa was cut off by a body pushing passed her and then Raven was in front of Clarke and Clarke was falling into Raven's arms, letting out a sob.

“You're okay,” Raven whispered, gripping Clarke tightly and stroking the blonde's hair. Her eyes found Lexa, “Thanks for waiting with her, Lex.”

Knowing the cousins probably needed a moment alone, she left with a nod. Her heart aching to leave Clarke so upset like that. But Raven was going to help way more than she ever could.

\- - - - - - - - - -

After much persuading from Raven that it was _fine_ and _not optional_ for her not to attend 'burger night', Lexa found herself situated on one of the stools at Raven's breakfast bar, minus Anya because Anya had a _thing_. Raven herself was in high spirits, immediately roping Lexa into trying her new cocktail named _'Rocket Fuel'_ the moment Lexa had entered the house.

Still, after seeing Clarke crying that morning and not seeing much else of Clarke all day, she couldn't really relax. She didn't want to be here if it was going to make Clarke uncomfortable and after their near kiss she doubted Clarke _would_ be comfortable around her. She'd have to wait and see because Clarke so far hadn't made it out of her room.

“Ya know,” Raven drawled from where she was cooking, turning to wave a spatula in Lexa's general direction, “Costia was asking if you were single.”

“She was?” Lexa frowned. She was aware that Costia had been flirting with her, Costia had been flirting with her _non stop_. But if she wanted to know about Lexa's relationship status then why the hell not just ask?

“Mhm,” Raven grinned, “She was showing _a lot_ of interest in you.”

“Can't imagine why, I'm not interesting at all.”

“Oh, please!” Raven laughed, “You're new to town, drop dead gorgeous and gay! How many new, hot, gay girls do you think we get here in Polis?”

“Uh...not many, by the sounds of it?” Lexa asked sheepishly.

“Not many is an _understatement_ ,” Raven said, giving her an eye roll, “So, you interested?”

“I...” _Have been too busy lusting after your cousin_. “Haven't thought about Costia in that light.”

“Is that a no?”

“It's an 'I don't know',” Lexa frowned, “I don't know if she's my type, I haven't thought about it.”

“Interesting,” Raven pursed her lips, “So what _is_ your type?”

“Um,” _Your cousin._ Fuck, “Blondes.”

“Well I figured that one out already,” Raven huffed.

“Uh, I like curves...” Lexa trailed off, was she really just going to reel off Clarke's traits? _Jesus, Lexa._

Raven shot her an incredulous look, “ _Lexa_ , tell me something I don't know.”

“How would I know what you know? And why are my sexual interests the topic of conversation?”

“Come on, I bet your sex life is more interesting than mine!” Raven whined, “I gotta live vicariously through people.”

Lexa scoffed, “If you're looking for people with interesting sex lives to _vicariously live through_ then I hate to disappoint but I haven't had sex in six months.”

Raven's eyes widened dramatically. You'd think Lexa had just told her that she'd killed a puppy. Lexa didn't think her sex life, of lack there of, deserved _this_ amount of dramatics.

“Shut your damn mouth!” Raven gasped, the spatula in her hand pointing rudely in Lexa's direction, “ _Six_ months? No?!”

“Yes.”

“Shit, honey, we need to get you _laid_ ,” Raven shook her head, “Do you have like...cobwebs down there?”

“Raven! Seriously? Let's _not_ talk about my... _anatomy._ ”

“Fine,” Raven huffed, clearly disappointed. There was silence for about three seconds, “You _must_ masturbate like crazy.”

“Who masturbates like crazy?” Clarke's voice drifted from behind her and she turned to see the blonde coming out of her room. Lexa's eyes took her in, she was wearing light blue jeans with rips that hugged her curves and a soft looking, faded pink, cotton shirt that fell off one shoulder. Lexa had to _drag_ her eyes away as the blonde sat down next to her.

“No one,” She said quickly. But Raven Reyes had other ideas.

“Lexa hasn't had sex in six months!” Raven practically shouted, spatula waving vicariously in the air. Making Lexa's eyes squeeze shut in embarrassment as a sigh left her mouth. She could practically _feel_ the laughter coming from Clarke but the blonde girl wasn't laughing at her, she was laughing at Raven's antics.

Great. She _absolutely_ wanted Clarke to know that, “Raven! It's no big deal, I just-”

“Wait, I need to know _why_?” Raven said excitedly, “I'd ask if you have zero game but you're hot as fuck so girls would still go for you. _I'd_ fuck you right here, right now.”

“What?!”

“We could have an orgy! You, me and,” Raven got a dreamy look her her face, “Anya.”

“She's my sister!” A look of horror passed Lexa's face.

“Bet you wouldn't say no if Clarke was part of the deal,” Raven grumbled.

Lexa's cheeks turned pink.

“Okay,” Clarke clapped her hands together, “If we're going to start the incestuous orgy talk then I'd better start early.”

Lexa watched as Clarke slipped down from the stool behind her and padded her way around her breakfast bar with bare feet. Returning moments later with two beers in her hand. Offering one to Lexa, who took it gratefully and popping the top off.

“What is it then?” Raven asked after a minute, “Do you, like, _really_ suck in bed? Or...Oh my God, do you have some weird STD?”

“What? No! Of course I don't-”

“Don't be ashamed Lex, it happens to the best of us,” Raven tutted, the dreaded spatula turned on Clarke, poking it in the direction of the girl's face, “Remember when you had chlamydia, Clarke?”

“No,” Clarke said evenly, “Because you just made it up.”

“You didn't?” Raven frowned in confusion, eyes on Clarke's shaking head, “Sorry, there's just something about you that _screams_ chlamydia.”

Clarke's eyebrows shot upward as a look of amusement came to her face, her hand pressed to her heart in jest, “You say the _sweetest_ things to me, Rae.”

“I know, you're lucky to have me,” The Latina laughed at Clarke's narrowing eyes before turning her attention back to Lexa, “If it isn't those things then why the hell haven't you had your croissant buttered in six whole months... _unless_ , do you have some _really_ weird fetish? Oh my God, did try it with your last girlfriend and it freaked her out so much that she told everyone so everywhere you went everyone just _knew_ you were that girl with the super fucked up fetish? Jesus, Lexa, that's why you had to move isn't it?”

Lexa was frozen in shock, her jaw pretty much hitting the floor, her eyes wide. Clarke's giggle pulled her out of her stupor.

“No!” She shook her head violently, “I don't have a weird, super fucked up fetish! I just.... _Jesus._ Why are we still talking about this?”

“Because six months, Lexa, _six_!” Raven waved that spatula at her, “Why?”

“I'm not going to tell you, Anya makes fun of me enough as it is, I don't need you to be in on it too,” Lexa grumbled, cheeks pink.

“Mm,” A suspicious smile came to Raven's face, “Anya knows, huh?”

Lexa watched in horror as Raven slowly pulled her phone out, before long having Anya over the phone, on speaker.

“Hey, Anya, why the hell ain't you at my burger night? Did Lexa forget to invite you?”

“ _Maybe I just didn't want to eat your burger,”_ Came Anya's lewd tone. Lexa couldn't help but cringe.

“I'll have you know that my burger is the best damn burger you could ever get your mouth on,” Raven replied with an eyebrow wiggle.

“ _I think I should be the judge of that, taste is very important to me when it comes to...burgers.”_

“Oh, I can assure you that my burger has the taste factor.”

“ _It's also gotta be nice and juicy.”_

“Damn-”

“Enough!” Clarke groaned, “I don't want to hear this.”

“Me neither,” Lexa made a retching noise, making Clarke smile.

“Prudes. I don't know about Lexa but Clarke has _no_ room to talk, the amount of times I've heard that girl getting railed-”

“Raven,” Clarke growled.

“Alright, alright,” Raven laughed, “Anyway, why I called....how come Lexie-Lou here hasn't had sex in six months?”

“Anya! Don't you dare!”

Anya's laugh came booming through the phone, _“Oh, little squid, you should've been nicer to me if you didn't want me to spill your secrets.”_

“When was I _ever_ not nice to you?” Lexa scoffed.

“ _I don't know, maybe when you decided to live in this butt hole town for a year instead of vacationing in Hawaii.”_

“Hawaii? What the fuck?” Raven frowned.

“I will pay for you to go to Hawaii _tomorrow_ if it means you're not going to embarrass me.”

“ _Where's the fun in that?”_

“So? What's the verdict? Does she have some non treatable STD or is it the weird fetish?” Raven laughed.

“ _It's the weird fetish-”_

“What?!” Lexa piped up.

“ _Little Lexie-Lou, she only fucks for love.”_

“Oh my God,” Lexa groaned, her face falling into her hands. Forget pink, she was as red as a tomato.

“Aww, she's a romantic,” Raven giggled.

“ _Anyway, unlike squid, I'm_ not _a virgin and Echo's naked and waiting sooo....see ya!”_

And with that she disconnected the call.

“This is brilliant,” Raven grinned, her eyes narrowing in on her cousin, “Hey, Clarkey, maybe you should try it?”

“Fuck off,” Clarke giggled, “I love sex and I hate love, I'd end up alone and horny with seventeen cats.”

“Agreed, we'll leave the _love fucking_ for Lexa,” Raven decided with a nod. 

“Kill me. Just kill me,” Lexa groaned again.

Raven's grin turned teasing, "I doubt Clarke could handle seventeen pussies, even if you were horny-"

"Raven!" Clarke laughed.

“She was joking about me being a virgin, by the way, I'm not,” Lexa grumbled, “I've had sex.”

“Yeah, like a billion years ago,” Raven rolled her eyes, “You might as well be a virgin. It isn't normal, for example, _I_ had sex last weekend. Clarke?”

The spatula was again pointed at the blonde, who shrugged casually, “Today.”

Lexa's eyebrows furrowed as she glanced at Clarke. She wondered who with. After how bad Clarke felt about sleeping with Niylah, she hoped Clarke hadn't made the same mistake twice. Blue met green but the blonde just sent her a small smile.

Raven also frowned at her cousin, “Today? Really?” She lowered her voice, “You know I don't mean with yourself right?”

And Lexa was officially going to hell. She cursed her stupid mind for immediately conjuring up images of the blonde. Laying bare and breathy on soft sheets. Pushed out chest, heaving. Soft skin. Writhing under deft fingers as she 'had sex with herself'.

“Not with myself,” The blonde rolled her eyes.

“How do you _always_ get more action than me?” Raven whined, “Shouldn't you be busy doing teenage things? Painting your nails or...I don't know, watching Hannah Montana?”

“Isn't sex a _very_ teenage thing to do?” Lexa frowned.

“Like you would know!” Raven laughed, “You've never even had sex!”

“Yes I have!” Lexa argued, “I have...I...I'm good at...it.”

 _Oh, shit_. She knew what was coming next. It only took the cousins a second to make eye contact before they were doubled over in laughter and Lexa was as red as a tomato.

Once the laughter had died down she gave in to the urge and took a peek at Clarke to gage the blonde's reaction. And there was Clarke, in all her _Clarke_ glory...smirking right at her.

She couldn't help but take in Clarke's face, her bright blue eyes, the shape of her face, the little beauty mark sitting just above her upper lip. Lexa kinda wanted to kiss it. Her eyes also ran over Clarke's neck, she hadn't studied it much – usually too focused on Clarke's _other_ assets – but now she was looking. Clarke's neck was elegant and the skin of it looked so soft, Lexa got the urge to run her fingers down it and press her thumb over the blonde's pulse point. She licked her lips, she wanted to put her mouth on it and-

“You never answered my question,” Raven wrinkled her nose, “Is your va-jay-jay in need of a de-cobwebbing?”

“My va-what? No!” Lexa blushed, “My...it's _fine_.”

“Do you even bother to keep it tidy? Knowing you ain't getting any? I think I'd just let mine get wild and free.”

“Can we...why are you so interested in my...Raven...” Lexa sighed.

“Just be thankful you don't live with Clarke, she's always leaving her pubes in the tub,” Raven laughed.

Lexa's wide eyes found Clarke as the blonde stuck her tongue out at her cousin.

“Can we talk about something else?” Lexa asked hopelessly.

Clarke giggled but Raven nodded, “Let's talk about Clarke.”

“Oh, I'm not discussing _my_ vagina,” The blonde joked, making Raven laugh.

“How's teaching Clarke, Lexa?”

“Um...” Lexa eyed the blonde and Clarke raised a challenging eyebrow. Okay, she could do this. Honest but polite, “I really enjoy having her as a student...sometimes I worry though.”

“Why?” Raven asked.

“Just...being late and stuff,” Lexa's eyes flicked between Clarke's amused expression and Raven's concerned one, “I just worry that Clarke maybe doesn't take school as seriously as she should...sometimes.”

“Do you know her grades?” Raven asked, eyebrow raised and a smile on her face.

“I...no,” Lexa bit her lip.

“Straight A's,” Raven smirked proudly.

“Except physical education,” Clarke corrected.

“Except physical education, she's allergic to exercise but apart from that.”

Lexa's mouth dropped open, Clarke was _so_ impressive, “Wow.”

She noticed Clarke's little smile and Raven's proud look.

“I'm sorry, I just assumed because of class,” Lexa said sincerely, catching Clarke's eyes before turning to Raven, “Plus I thought you said you got the brains and she got the...”

“You can say tits,” Raven laughed.

“No she can't, “Clarke giggled, “She goes red whenever I catch her looking at the girls.”

Lexa's eyes widened as she went bright red, Clarke looked down at her own chest and Raven doubled over in laughter.

“I thought this was burger night? Not embarrass the fuck out of Lexa night?” Lexa grumbled.

“Aww, poor baby,” Clarke patted her back but her smile was anything but sympathetic.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She called Anya the moment she was walking home.

“Why the hell did you say all of that?” She hissed.

“ _Uh, hello to you too. What's your problem? It's not like it isn't true, no big deal.”_

Ugh, she could _slap_ her sister right now. It was a _massive_ deal. It was a _huge_ deal because...because...

“Clarke could hear you, Anya!”

“ _Well...Raven's the one who asked. Besides, who cares? She's way out of you league anyway, you have no chance with her.”_

“What?!”

“ _Oh, come on, Lexa. You really think you have a shot with a girl that looks like that? Keep dreaming, baby sis.”_

“Oh my God, this is so besides the point! You really are a piece of work, Anya...maybe I didn't want my colleague and _student_ to know about my sex life!”

“ _Don't take it out on me just because your little girlfriend knows you're a sap, surely she knew already, your heart eyes aren't exactly subtle.”_

“Jesus, Anya. Can you just take me seriously for one fucking second?”

“ _If you had an actual problem, yes. But you don't. You're freaking for exactly_ no _reason.”_

“I have a reason, I...I don't want to be a loser.”

“ _Too late.”_

“Anya!”

“ _Seriously, Lexa. You're fine. Everyone loves you, even the wonder bra that is Clarke Griffin.”_

“The wonder...Anya, don't call her that.”

“ _Jesus, you've got it bad.”_

“Oh really?” Lexa spat, “I hadn't noticed.”

“ _Alright, look it's fine. Did they laugh?”_

“I...yeah.”

“ _Then it's fine, you're liked. Don't worry so much, okay?”_

“Yeah, okay,” She pouted, “Oh shit, uncle Marcus is calling.”

“ _Bye, squid and for fuck sake, try to stop being such a useless lesbian.”_

\- - - - - - - - - -

Lexa was _fucked_. She had absolutely no idea what to do. Marcus had asked her to have Madison for the night when she was on her way home from Raven's and she'd been happy for the spontaneous company of the toddler. Everything had been going perfectly, she'd taken Madison to see the ducks in the park on their route home. They'd made some pasta because Madison wanted 'sgetti' but who had time to try and feed _that_ to a toddler? Not Lexa. They'd finally settled down in front of a movie, Madison's pick of The Lion King, when the toddler had a complete meltdown.

And by meltdown, it was a meltdown like _no_ other. Lexa had never _seen_ such a meltdown. They'd been cuddling up and when the scene came on with Simba talking to his Mom, Madison had lost it. Big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. Wailing sob after sob leaving her throat and making her whole body shake. Her face turning red in minutes.

And Lexa had tried all her usual tactics. She tried to distract her with something else, she'd cuddled her, she'd even tried to bribe her with some candy love hearts that she _knew_ Madison loved. But no, the toddler wouldn't let up. She just cried, sobbing so much that her face got incredibly hot and when she'd tried to ask for her Mommy, she'd ended up choking on her own spit and vomiting all over Lexa's shirt.

That's how Lexa found herself in her bathroom, sitting on the floor shirtless and pressing a cool cloth to the toddler cradled on her lap.

“Mo-mmy, Mom-my, Momm-y,” Madison hiccupped, her wet face pressed into Lexa's neck.

“I know, I know, little one,” Lexa rocked her back and forth, running her fingers through soft, brunette curls.

She sighed. She'd already attempted to call Marcus but he just wasn't picking up. When she was _absolutely_ sure that the little girl had finished throwing up, she scooped her up and headed upstairs. Maybe if they were in bed then Madison would cry herself to sleep and at least her little face could lose it's redness and her raw throat would get a break.

She set Madison on the bed, grabbing some pajama's and changing quickly. When she turned back around, sobs had become sniffles and the toddler's eyes were drooping. She was laying on her belly with her face buried in the sweater Clarke must've left in her bed last night. She reminded herself to return it to the blonde.

“She smells good, huh?” Lexa smiled, slipping into bed next to Madison, “I think so too.”

She stroked Madison's back as the little girl blinked up at her with those big blue eyes. She stroked the toddlers back gently until she was fast asleep.

Just before Lexa fell asleep her phone dinged with a message.

“What the hell?” She frowned at the unknown number.

What she saw made her freeze. It was a picture message, a _naughty_ one at that. And she'd recognize the swell of _those_ particular breasts anywhere. She'd fantasized about them enough already.

Her fantasies were _nothing_ compared to reality. Lexa licked her lips while taking in the perky globes, so _round_ , topped with pink nipples that she _desperately_ wanted in her mouth.

_Fuck._

How the hell had Clarke gotten her number?


	5. Fire, Fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your feedback, every comment means a lot to me. <3

**5\. Fire, Fire.**

Clarke Griffin was confusing. And that was an understatement. She went from sexy teasing and flashing Lexa her panties. To angry and cussing. To giving soft looks and genuine smiles. And back. Lexa had no idea where she stood. She wondered if Clarke was just a complex person with all these different sides that fitted together perfectly, like a jigsaw puzzle, once you knew them all. She _wanted_ to know them all. She wanted to _love_ them all. But she couldn't...or at least she _shouldn't_.

She'd avoided Clarke for the most part, she'd kept her eyes to herself during first period but she knew she had to talk to the blonde. She knew she had to clear things up. And it was getting hard to concentrate, her thoughts kept drifting to the photo that was _burnt_ into her mind. So she'd emailed Costia after checking which class Clarke had before lunch, asking the teacher to send Clarke straight to her classroom once the lunch bell rang. Now all she had to do was pluck up the courage to end this...whatever _this_ was.

Once the blonde entered the room Lexa gestured to desk closest to her. Using the time it took for Clarke to sit down to compose herself with a deep breath.

“Clarke,” She said softly, waiting for Clarke's eyes, “We...I need to...we should talk.”

Blue eyes stayed fixed on her, the blonde's confidence not wavering, “What about, Lexa?”

“Um...I think, maybe, you should start calling me Miss Woods,” Lexa cleared her throat awkwardly, dragging her eyes up from where they'd strayed to Clarke's lips. _Fucking traitor eyes._

Clarke rose an eyebrow in question.

“Um...” Lexa continued shakily, “I think things have gotten out of hand...I, I saw your sketch and...”

“So?” Clarke asked, voice steady.

“You drew me...”

Clarke nodded, “I did.”

“It's...inappropriate,” Lexa breathed out, well aware that her cheeks were turning pink.

“It's just art, I draw everyone,” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“It's not just that.”

“Then what?” Clarke challenged.

“ _Clarke_ , you sent me a photo of...” Lexa blushed harder, eyes dropping to ample cleavage.

“Of what?”

Lexa bit her lip, fishing out her phone and bringing up the photo, showing it to Clarke. She watched as Clarke's eyes dragged over the screen, a neutral expression on her face until their eyes met once again.

“How do you even know that's me?” Clarke's lips twitched into a smirk.

Lexa blinked heavily, “What?”

“You got a text...from an _unknown_ number,” Clarke stood slowly, Lexa's eyes never leaving her, “Of a photo with _no_ face,” Clarke stalked closer, “And yet you automatically think it was me?” Clarke made a tutting noise, “You must've spent an awful lot of time looking at my boobs if you can recognize them from a photo, Lexa.”

And Clarke was just looking at her, a teasing smile on her face, eyebrows risen in challenge and blue eyes looking straight through her.

_You know I have._

Lexa bit her lip, “Look, crushes are normal...and I- I...if you have one then-”

“Lexa,” The laugh that left Clarke's throat startled her, “You think I have a crush on you?”

Lexa glanced up at the blonde nervously, “Uh...”

“I'm not twelve,” Clarke chuckled, “I don't have a crush on you, Lexa, I want to fuck you.”

The moment Clarke's words registered, it felt like she'd been punched in the gut. It felt as if time stood still, like she couldn't breath, like she couldn't _think_. Clarke fucking Griffin wanted to fuck her. Is this how it would feel to spontaneously combust?

And Clarke was just standing there, as confident as ever. A curious look spread over her pretty face as she just watched. Watched Lexa practically _die_. Clarke Griffin had more confidence than Lexa had in her pinky finger.

“I...” _Want to fuck you too_. She sucked the air into her lungs harshly, she couldn't say _that_ , “I...” _Think about you all the time._

What the hell was she supposed to say?

“It's...wrong,” She said lamely, throat constricting.

Was it wrong? Every fiber of her being wanted the girl in front of her and it felt _nothing_ but right. Apparently Clarke didn't agree with her word choice either, if the exaggerated eye roll was anything to go by.

“I know you want me, so you can cut the bullshit.”

“I...” _Fuck, yes. I want you._ No. She couldn't, “Don't.”

And _fuck_ she wished the ground would just swallow her up because Clarke was advancing towards her again. Those full hips swaying and Lexa's greedy eyes took her in.

The way Clarke's soft, white, cotton shirt was pulled tight across her chest and tucked into the mid-thigh length, grey but faintly printed red plaid skirt that was brushing the tops of her thighs made Lexa lick her lips _and_ have to cross her legs.

And then Clarke was in front of her, close enough to touch. Hip cocked and resting against the desk, hand pressed to the wood and that smirk on her face that Lexa loved so much. Lexa gulped, looking up into those all consuming, blue eyes.

“I _know_ you want me, Lexa,” Clarke practically purred. Her husky voice washing over Lexa in a warm, wave like, caress, “I see you looking,” One of Clarke's hands came up to briefly run across her breast and _yes_ , Lexa's eyes followed the movement. Clarke's hand squeezed against the white material, forcing Lexa's eyes shut, “It's okay, I _want_ you to look.”

“I _can't_ ,” Lexa whispered, her voice coming out in a weak hiss. Her body _shaking_ , aching to lean into the blonde's space.

“I'd like to ask you a question.”

She felt Clarke's breath across her face and her eyes sprang open to see that the blonde had leant forward, their faces only an inch apart. Green met blue and Lexa had to swallow quickly.

“When you think about fucking me on your desk,” Clarke shot her a naughty look and Lexa's mouth fell open, “Am I in this position?”

And with that, Clarke bent over Lexa's desk. Her front pressed to the surface. Her deliciously thick, toned thighs slightly spread. Her round, skirt covered ass up in the air and her face turned to Lexa, eyebrow quirked. Lexa couldn't breath.

_Yes, Clarke, you are in that position but always less clothed._

“ _Clarke_ ,” She managed to choke out, struggling to keep her eyes on the blonde's face.

“If you can stop yourself from looking then I'll leave it but if you can't...” She trailed off, a naughty lilt in her voice, teasing.

Lexa didn't understand. If this game was about _not_ looking, hadn't she already failed miserably? She was pretty sure all she'd done is _look_ but... _oh._ Clarke had reached behind her and was slowly tugging the skirt up, over her ass.

Well...Lexa looked.

She watched as the material revealed the beautiful skin on the back of the blonde's thighs, inch by perfect inch. She watched and the blonde's panties came into view and she noticed that today they were white with little, green four leaf clovers covering them. _Definitely naughty girl, innocent panties._ She noticed how the edges of the panties dug into the smooth, generous flesh of the blonde's ass, just slightly, something you wouldn't notice unless you were up close.

And what made Lexa's mouth drop open most of all, how the panties stuck lightly to the blonde where they were slightly damp. Lexa's eyes widened. She had to squeeze her legs together as hard as she could. Clarke Griffin was turned on and all Lexa wanted to do was press her nose against the four leaf clovers, against the dampness so that she could _smell_ the blonde.

 _Fuck_. She wanted to graze her lips over the swell of Clarke's ass, kick the blonde's legs further apart and press her thumb into the damp patch of material. _No. Fuck._ She wanted to press her tongue to it. She wanted to make that damp patch soaked with her saliva and then suck on the flesh beneath it. She wanted to dart her tongue into the side of those panties. She wanted to _taste._

Suddenly her view was gone and she was just staring at the wood of her desk. She blinked heavily, her eyes flitting around the room until they landed on Clarke, leaning against the door jam. And Clarke looked completely composed. As if she hadn't just been bending over Lexa's desk with her skirt hiked up and a naughty smile on her face. As if she hadn't just given Lexa an extraordinary, close up view of her panties. As if said panties weren't _wet_ right now.

“Looks like you lose,” Clarke said, voice even, “Let's see how long it takes for you to give up on your 'I don't fuck unless I'm in love' rule, shall we?”

What could Lexa do except stare dumbly after her as she left?

\- - - - - - - - - -

Lexa scrubbed a hand down her face, entering the teacher's lounge and sinking down on the couch in defeat. Today was _not_ her day. She thought about using the rest of her lunch break to grab something to eat but decided against it. Her stomach was churning enough as it was. Clarke Griffin was going to be the death of her, she just _knew_ it. She decided to skip lunch, there wasn't long left anyway.

She wondered if Clarke was eating. Probably. The blonde was probably acting completely normal, like nothing had even happened. Just hanging out, eating and laughing with her friends like it was any other day.

She was interrupted from her musing by Costia. Taking her in with concern on her face as she entered the room.

“Hi,” Lexa managed a tight smile.

The truth was, Lexa was a little bit uncomfortable around Costia now that she knew the other teacher was into her. She'd had her suspicions, she'd noticed the flirting and the looks but she could brush it off as Costia being a natural flirt until Raven had confirmed those suspicions. And Costia wasn't someone she _ever_ wanted to talk to when there was an uncomfortable wetness between her legs.

Still, as she observed the woman who was leaning back, against the table, she noticed that Costia was not unattractive. Her face was actually very pretty, her figure slim and petite. Her hair blonde and shiny. Bottled, she noticed, not natural like Clarke's light locks. Her eyes a pretty hazel. Lexa definitely would've noticed this woman usually.

At any normal time, Lexa would've been drawn to Costia. She would've flirted with her, maybe asked her to coffee. She definitely would've _noticed_ the woman. After seeing Clarke, though, Lexa hadn't.

“Are you okay?” Costia cooed, “You don't look so good.”

“I'm okay,” Lexa shrugged, “I've just had a tough day.”

“I'm sorry to hear that,” Costia's hand came out, resting on Lexa's shoulder.

Lexa forced herself not to pull away, she really didn't need anyone touching her. Not in her current situation. _Unless it was Clar-_ “Thanks.”

“A couple of us are heading to The Ark later, you should come.”

Lexa knew about The Ark, it was a local bar. Apparently the best one around. Anya had dragged her there the first night they moved to Polis. It had a chilled out, modern atmosphere and it held a nightclub upstairs. Maybe it would be a good idea to go. Get a couple of drinks, have some company but...

“Who's a couple of us?” Lexa squinted, crossing her fingers in the hopes that Costia didn't say 'Kyle Wick'.

“Raven's coming,” Costia teased, knowing that Lexa was more likely to turn up if the fiery Latina was involved.

Lexa smiled, “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Costia. I could do with a drink.”

“Great,” She smiled as if Lexa had _made her day_.

Lexa cringed internally. A text coming through distracted her as Costia left with a wave.

**Unknown: Have you been able to stop thinking about me yet?**

Lexa groaned. Turning her phone off and shoving it deep into her pocked. She needed this day to be over. It couldn't possibly get any worse.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She was wrong.

She turned up at The Ark to find Costia, Raven, Echo, some teachers she didn't know very well yet and, _of course_ , Kyle fucking Wick. She briefly wondered if she could just turn around and get the hell out of there. Apologize tomorrow, say that something came up. But then Raven was waving her over enthusiastically, with a big smile. And Lexa knew she couldn't leave because saying 'no' to Raven Reyes seemed impossible. To say the woman had grown on Lexa would be an understatement.

So she slipped into the booth next to Raven with a polite, “Hi, guys.”

She received smiles and nods before Raven was slapping an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her to the point of it being painful and laying a big, wet kiss on her cheek.

“Hey! I'm _so_ glad you made it,” Raven grinned before lowering her voice to a volume only Lexa could hear, “These guys are so fucking dull, I swear I was about to hang myself in the bathroom. Imagine that, it would be fucking _tragic_. How would the world cope if they lost their very own _Raven fucking Reyes_.”

Lexa couldn't help but laugh. A warmth spreading through her chest. Raven's _Raven-ness_ was becoming a familiarity to her, a constant in her life that she was defiantly better off for. _Yes_ , the world would be exceptionally worse if Raven wasn't in it.

The evening hammered on. With Raven seemingly trying to get everyone drunker than they'd like to be. Costia flirting with her and her trying to back off but getting nudges and eyebrow waggles of approval from Raven. Raven and Echo, much to Lexa's disgust, discussing _in detail_ Anya's 'hot' body. Vile Kyle – Yes, Lexa gave him the nickname and it had Raven laughing so hard she snorted – telling them about the girls him and his buddies hooked up with in college, the stories equally as long as they were disgusting and only realizing he should shut up when Raven punched him, giving him a dead arm and putting a scowl on his face. _Thanks, Raven._

It wasn't until she turned her phone back on that she realized she had twelve missed calls from Anya and two missed called from the people she was renting her apartment from. She frowned, excusing herself and stepping outside to return Anya's calls.

“Ahn?”

“ _Where the hell have you been, Lexa?”_

“I'm at The Ark, Costia invited me out for drinks,” Lexa explained, “What's going on?”

“ _There was a- wait a minute, Costia invited you out for drinks?”_

“Yeah, it's...there's other people too. People from work, Raven's here,” Lexa said, a frown coming to her face, “Why did you call me a thousand times and why do I have missed calls from the apartment manager?”

“ _The apartment- hang on, you're out for drinks with Raven and you didn't invite me?”_

“Anya!” Lexa huffed, “Just tell me what's going on!”

“ _You'd think I'd get an invite. My own sister, my flesh and blood-”_

"I'm adopted."

_"-think of the betrayal! How dare you-"_

“Ahn!”

“ _Lex, there's no easy way to tell you this,”_ Anya said, making Lexa's anxiety climb, _“You're homeless.”_

“I'm...what?!” Lexa's eyes widened.

“ _There was a fire in the apartment below yours and...well, I'm sorry.”_

“Holy fuck, did anyone get hurt?” Lexa's heart filled with dread.

“ _No, your downstairs neighbor left their curling iron on but they weren't home.”_

“Good...that's good, that's what matters,” Lexa sighed in relief before her eyes flew open once more, “What about all my stuff, is...”

“ _Burnt, I told your apartment manager that we'd go over there tomorrow afternoon to see if there's anything salvageable but...it doesn't sound like there is.”_

“Fuck,” Lexa felt close to tears, “What am I gonna do?”

“ _I-”_ Anya was cut of by what sounded like knocking, _“Don't know, listen, squid. We'll figure it out just...let me call you back, okay?”_

“Yeah, okay,” Lexa nodded dumbly. Waiting to hear Anya hang up before shoving her phone back into her pocket.

Fuck. Apparently it absolutely _could_ get worse. What the fuck was she supposed to do now? This was supposed to be her year of relaxation and good times. So far she'd got infatuated with and _almost_ kissed a student, heard way too much about Anya's sex life and managed to get her apartment burned down. Although, there was one good thing to come out of this year so far...

“Lexa?” Raven's voice sounded from behind her. The Latina's face coming into view in front of her, concern in her eyes.

Lexa did her best to blink away the tears but one still slid down her face, only to be stopped in it's trajectory by Raven's thumb, “What happened?”

Lexa shrugged sadly, “There was a fire in my apartment.”

“Wow, that's...wow,” Raven's eyes widened, “I'm sorry, that sucks.”

“Anya thinks all my stuff is gone and who knows how long it's going to take to find somewhere else.”

“What are you going to do?”

What _was_ she going to do? “I guess Anya's going to be getting a bed buddy.”

“No,” Raven shook her head, a determined look coming to her face. Lexa frowned, confused, “You're coming home with me.”

“Oh, no,” Lexa was quick to dismiss the idea, “Raven, I can't.”

“You can and you will,” Raven said, her no-nonsense tone not quite fitting her, “Think about it. It's going to take you a while to get somewhere else sorted and then you'll probably have to buy furniture. Do you really want to spend all that time sharing your sister's hotel room when I have a perfectly good house and a spare room sitting empty?”

Lexa looked at her dubiously. It did make sense. She definitely wasn't going to add another hotel room onto her outgoings, it would be a waste of money and Raven didn't seem to mind. But living with Raven meant also living with...

“No,” She shook her head, “Raven, you're the best friend I've ever met but it would be too much. I don't want to impose and what about Clarke? I-”

“Lex!” Raven cut her off, “Don't be an asshole, we'd love to have you. You'd brighten up the place and you'd bring up our group average on the attractive scale, don't tell her I said this but without make up, that girl is a dog.”

Raven's joke did it's job to make Lexa laugh.

“Also,” Raven piped up, “There's one very important factor that we haven't even pointed out.”

“What's that?” Lexa frowned.

“You don't have a choice,” Raven grinned cheekily.

Lexa chuckled, “Okay but...only if Clarke's okay with it.”

“We can ask her when we see her but I know she'll say yes,” Raven smiled, giving Lexa's shoulder a playful nudge, “So, roomie, shall we go home?”

“Yeah,” Lexa smiled gratefully, “Thanks, Raven. What would I do without you?”

“Let me tell you, your life would be a hot damn mess, a steaming hot pile of garbage with a dollop of sadness and a sprinkling of tragedy.”

“Sounds about right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please r&r <3


	6. Kiss Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback.  
> Z&F - you're just the best <3  
> I hope you guys had a great Christmas.  
> And I also hope you enjoy this chapter...

**6\. Kiss Me**

Lexa was going to be staying with Raven. In Raven's house. In Raven's house where Clarke lived. And Lexa was worried. She could barely resist Clarke when the blonde got all seductive at school but at home too? Lexa ignored her subconscious for laughing at her and asking her who she was trying to kid by calling _this_ 'resisting Clarke'.

She just had to steel herself and from now on, be respectful. So she followed Raven home and hoped that the Latina would let her borrow some clothes to sleep in, just for tonight, she'd borrow some from Anya or buy some tomorrow. And sent prayers from her mind to the Gods of sexual arousal, surely there were such Gods, asking them to please free her from this insanity. At least for as long as she was living with Raven and Clarke.

But upon entering the house, Lexa bulked as a loud, guttural moan was heard. Rave just shrugged, pushing Lexa further into the kitchen as the guttural moan was followed by a manly grunt and then a high pitched whine. Lexa realized the noises were coming from Clarke's room.

“You'll get use to it,” Raven shrugged, making her way to the blonde's room, “The kid likes to fuck.”

Would she get use to it? Would she really?

Another filthy moan of pleasure sounded. A sinful sound that, embarrassingly, shot straight to Lexa's core. Raven used her fist to bang loudly on the door.

“Shut up, Clarke!” Raven shouted, “You're not a porn star so you don't need to sound like one!”

“Fuck off, Ra-VEN!” The 'ven' in Clarke's speech coming out in a loud moan.

Raven's eyes widened dramatically, “Don't say my name when there's a dick inside you!”

Lexa couldn't help but laugh, earning herself a shove when Raven made it to her. After that they decided to turn in since it would be pretty awkward to hang out while trying to pretend _those_ noises weren't happening.

\- - - - - - - - - -

The next morning she felt like death. Probably thanks to the alcohol and crying. She probably looked like shit too. She hadn't showered yet, she hadn't even bothered to wash off last night's make up, making her eyes were too itchy for her contacts so her glasses were shoved onto her face. When she dragged herself to the kitchen Raven was already there, ready to welcome her with a pot of freshly brewed coffee. At least it was a fucking Saturday.

Lexa made an appreciative sound in the back of her throat, “I love you.”

“Are you talking to me or the coffee?” Raven smirked, “Because if it's me then I'm going to start thinking you have a thing for _all_ the women within my bloodline. Want me to introduce you to Clarke's mom?”

Lexa laughed, taking the mug of coffee in her hands and taking a deep breath of the stream before a thought made her pause, “Clarke has a mom?” She frowned at herself, that was probably beyond rude, “Sorry, I didn't mean to...I just assumed, I don't even know. I'll shut up.”

“It's okay,” Raven nudged her, leaning her elbows next to Lexa's on the breakfast bar, “Clarke does have a mom, she just...after Clarke's dad died, her mom hasn't been the best so she lives with me.”

Lexa nodded in understanding, it wasn't her business, “You two are close, it's nice.”

“We grew up together, when Clarke was born I was only five and our moms were really close back then,” Raven shrugged, “My dad and Clarke's mom are sibling but my dad bailed and my mom wanted me to grow up with family so we stayed close. Clarke was my little mini me when she was little. Always following me around, trying to do everything I could do. I use to get so told off when that little brat use to fall down from trees.”

Lexa smiled softly at the story, thinking of little Raven and baby Clarke getting into mischief, “That's really nice. That bond.”

“Like you and Anya?” Raven asked.

“Kind of,” Lexa swallowed, “I was adopted by her parents when I was eight and she was ten, she looked out for me. She's always been my knight in shining armor.”

Raven smiled, “I'd never of guessed,” Raven's eyes widened, “You didn't say anything when I said your family has good genetics.”

Lexa just shrugged, sometimes it was easier not to discuss and it wasn't usually the first thing she told people.

The sound of Clarke's bedroom door opening pulled their attention to the blonde walking towards them. Clad only in a thin robe. Her hair mused and a sway in her hips. To put it bluntly, the blonde looked like she'd been thoroughly fucked.

“Gimme coffee,” She grumbled, a little smile adorning her soft lips. Her voice gruff from sleep, or lack there of.

“Good night?” Raven teased, setting a cup of coffee in front of the blonde.

Clarke shrugged casually, eyes flitting to Lexa, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Lexa returned the sentiment and couldn't help the little smile that came to her face.

“There was a fire in Lexa's apartment building.”

The blonde's eyebrows furrowed together in concern, “Did anyone get hurt?"

“No,” Lexa shook her head, her heart beating just a little bit faster at that being Clarke's first question.

“But Lexa's taking the guest room for a bit,” Raven said, topping up her and Lexa's mugs.

“If it's okay with you,” Lexa hurried to say but the blonde just gave her a lopsided smile.

“Why wouldn't it be?” Clarke asked, eyebrow raised.

Lexa's mouth fell open but whatever it was she was about to say became void when the bedroom door opened once again, revealing a handsome guy. Clarke didn't bother to look round when the shirtless guy strolled up and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. His chin resting on her shoulder after he'd placed a kiss on her neck.

“Um, hi?” Raven eyed him, eyes narrowing quizzically and earning a giggle from Clarke.

“Sorry. This is my cousin, Raven and her friend, Lexa. And this is...” A lazy smile formed on the blonde's face when the guy's hand slipped into the front of her robe, “Um, what's your name?”

“Lincoln,” He laughed, giving her a squeeze.

“Right,” Clarke giggled again, “This is Lincoln.”

“You forgot his name? Real classy, Clarke,” Raven rolled her eyes, “Where did you find this one? Weren't you in my mech class yesterday afternoon?”

The guy, Lincoln, nodded.

“Yeah,” Clarke explained, “He's new to Polis so I offered to give him a tour.”

“Of what, your vagina?” Raven dead panned, making Clarke laugh, Lexa's eyes widen and Lincoln smile.

“It was a very... _informative_ tour,” Clarke turned her face, leaning back slightly so she could look at Lincoln, “Wouldn't you say?”

He nodded.

“Wow, a real talker,” Raven joked.

“I'm going to set him up with O,” Clarke smiled, “I think she'd _love_ him and Linc here, is looking for commitment.”

“Poor boy, innocently looking for a nice girlfriend and falls into your filthy hands,” Raven teased.

“I'm not that bad. I _am_ going to set him up with Octavia, I just figured I should,” Clarke smirked, looping an arm around Lincoln's neck, “Take him for a test drive first.”

“And you're okay with that?” Raven directed her question towards Lincoln.

He shrugged, “I like new experiences.”

“I get that,” Raven laughed, “I bet that was the first time a girl ever called out her cousin's name while in bed with ya.”

He just nodded with a small chuckle. Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Well I forgot _his_ name, didn't I? Had to say something,” She joked with a wink.

When Raven noticed the look on Lexa's face she burst out laughing, “Awe, cool it, Clarke. Lexie-Lou is _way_ too innocent for us.”

“I'm not...I just,” Lexa gulped, turning red as all eyes were on her, “Um...”

“Poor baby,” Clarke giggled before grabbing Lincoln's hand, turning to the boy, “Come on, let's take a shower.”

“I thought you were setting him up with O?” Raven called after them.

Clarke turned back before she could lead Lincoln into her bedroom, a smirk on her face, “I am! _After_ I shower with him.”

“That girl,” Raven rolled her eyes with a chuckle.

\- - - - - - - - - -

As her and Anya found out when they went to see what they could salvage, all of her stuff had been 'sacrificed to the Gods of fire'. According to Anya, anyway. Still, Anya bought her a smoothie from Grounder's Cafe to make her feel better. Then they'd picked up Madison on the way to Anya's hotel room. Lexa was sad to tell Marcus that Madison couldn't have sleepovers with her for the time being but she didn't want to give up on her time with the toddler altogether. She also didn't want to ask Raven if she could have Madison there, Raven would feel like she had to say yes and not everyone enjoyed kids.

Madison seemed to be enjoying the hotel room anyway, especially the massive bed that Lexa was helping her to bounce on. Anya just watched them in amusement with her arms crossed, this was first time Anya was meeting the toddler.

“She's cute,” Anya observed.

“Yeah,” Lexa agreed with a smile.

“No,” Anya shook her head, “Not like the usual 'I'm a kid and I'm cute' kinda way, in the she's _actually_ really freaking adorable kinda way.”

Lexa chuckled, “She's the most adorable little one ever.”

“You know mom's coming to visit right?”

Lexa had forgotten all about that, “Is she staying here?”

“Yep, she booked a room,” Anya nodded, “She's bringing the bro too.”

Now that made Lexa smile, she loved their little brother. Aden had been adopted just four years ago and although Lexa and Anya didn't live at home anymore so it wasn't anything like their sibling bond, they were still close with the fourteen year old knuckle head.

“I have a feeling he's gonna want to hang out at your place,” Anya smirked, sending Lexa a 'really?' look when Lexa frowned, “Have you _seen_ who you live with? Clarke Griffin and Raven Reyes in the same room? Throw a fourteen year old boy into _that_ equation and you'll find every soft surface crusty.”

Lexa wrinkled her nose at _that_ image, “He's not going to jerk off over Clarke and Raven, Anya.”

“Why not? You do,” Anya smirked, “Over Clarke anyway.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Let's talk about something else. This discussion isn't exactly kid friendly.”

Anya eyed Madison where the little girl was still jumping, paying close attention to her feet while she held tightly to Lexa's hands, “Alright. New topic, are you going to be okay living with Clarke?”

Lexa's jaw tightened, “Yes.”

“Really?”

“No,” Lexa sighed, “I'm so in love with her, Anya, it's ridiculous.”

“Shall I update ma and pa in the bi monthly newsletter?” Anya quipped.

“No way, Indra would have a stroke if she knew I was being so pathetic about a _student_.”

“Please, Indra would just be happy that you could actually get a date,” Anya waited for Lexa to look at her, “We have a bet going on, Gus thinks you're secretly married to a celebrity. Aden thinks you're still in love with your ex, what's-her-face? The ugly one.”

Lexa scoffed, “Charming. And what did _you_ bet?”

“That you're too much of a loser to even get a girl,” Anya grinned.

“Thanks, Ahn. Your support is greatly appreciated,” Lexa frowned, focused on helping Madison when the little girl squirmed, wanting to sit, “Wait, what about Indra?”

“Indra didn't take part in the bet, she's worried that you turned straight but are too scared to tell us.”

“Well you can assure Indra that the ship sailed a long time ago on that,” Lexa smiled.

“I don't think we're in _any_ danger of that as long as Clarke Griffin is around,” Anya sent her a wink, “You know Indra though, she loves how culturally diverse we all are. Heaven forbid if one of us became a cookie cutter.”

Lexa shook her head with a laugh.

“Does this kid talk then or what?” Anya asked.

“Yes, she does. Be nice please, she's shy,” Lexa sent her sister a pointed look before bending down near Madison's ear, “You wanna say hi to Anya?”

Madison glanced between Lexa and Anya with big eyes, grabbing Lexa's shirt to pull their faces closer. She needed to have Lexa near her, like a security blanket. She turned her little face, blinking up at Anya, “Hi, Anna.”

Anya just about melted, “So freaking adorable.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

Once Lexa got home she was in a great mood, spending the day with Anya and Madison really cheered her up. And getting back to Raven's to find Clarke, curled up on the couch in comfy pajamas and a book, just made her day even better.

“Hey,” Lexa greeted, pulling Clarke's attention to her.

“Hey,” The blonde sent her a soft smile, grabbing the empty mug off the coffee table and waving it in Lexa's direction, “I made hot cocoa, you can have some if you get me a refill? I'm too comfy to move.”

Lexa couldn't help but to smile, giving Clarke a nod. A few minutes later setting two steaming hot mugs on the coffee table and sitting on the couch next to the blonde, making sure to keep a respectful distance.

“I just wanted to say thanks, for letting me stay here,” Lexa said softly, letting her eyes settle on the blonde in front of her.

“You're welcome,” Clarke smiled, “I'm glad you're here.”

“You are?” Lexa's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Mhm, now there's less travelling involved in my plan to seduce you,” Clarke quipped, knocking her knee against Lexa's.

Lexa chuckled, feeling her cheek tinge pink. Lexa loved Clarke like this, smiling and happy. She seemed free, it was times like this that the girl's demons seemed at bay. Her eyes gentle, her voice soft and what seemed to be a calm energy within her. Lexa wished Clarke could always be this at ease.

“What are you reading?” Lexa asked, trying to change the subject. Clarke glanced down to the book laying open in her lap, flipping the cover so that Lexa could see the worn looking front cover, “Alice in Wonderland?”

Clarke nodded, blue eyes on Lexa's, “It might be silly, reading a children's book, but it's one of my favorites.”

“It's not silly,” Lexa smiled reassuringly, “I have a copy of Black Beauty that's just as worn,” Lexa paused, face falling, “ _Had._ It was in my apartment.”

Her heart broke a little bit for the demise of her favorite book. Gustus had bought it for her when she was a child, they'd spend hours at this little, second hand bookshop. She'd felt ever so proud the first time he'd asked her to pick something out and she'd produced the copy and it hadn't left her side since. It was the first time she'd really felt bonded to him as a parent. She blinked away the threatening tears and thanked her lucky stars that she'd left her other sentimental items at home with Indra. It hadn't made sense taking them with her when she was travelling so much.

“I'm sorry,” Clarke's eyebrows pinched in concern and Lexa just wanted to kiss away the little crease they made, “It's hard losing things that are important to you.”

Lexa just nodded, curious about the far away look the clouded over Clarke's eyes but a second later the blonde blinked and it was gone, “So, why Alice?”

“I don't know,” The blonde's chin dipped bashfully, “My dad use to read it to me, I grew up loving it.”

Lexa swallowed, her face softening. She brought her fingers up, beneath Clarke's chin. Tilting the blonde's head back up delicately until their eyes met. Her voice coming out barely above a whisper and softer than she thought possible, “I know what it's like to lose someone too.”

She could see the moment recognition flickered in those blue eyes. Clarke blinked slowly. Her mouth opening slightly and then the moment was over and the blonde pulled away, clearing her throat along with the build up tension.

“Do you read a lot?”

Lexa bit her lip, nodding in confirmation.

Clarke laughed, “Of course, you're an English teacher.”

“Actually, I'm not,” Lexa waited for Clarke's eyes, the blonde's head cocked to the side in confusion, “I'm a writer, I'm just taking a year out and my uncle got me the teaching job.”

“Oh,” Clarke said and Lexa couldn't help but pay attention to the perfect 'O' the blonde's mouth formed when she said the word, “Anything I might of read?”

Lexa shrugged, she'd seen the copies of two of her books tucked into the book case in Clarke's room the night she'd helped the blonde to bed but she wasn't going to say that. There was some sex in her books and she didn't need the blonde using it against her.

Clarke replied with her own shrug before a little smirk came to her face, “It's good knowing you're not really a teacher. It'll make me feel less guilty when we have sex.”

Lexa's mouth dropped open but she couldn't help but laugh at Clarke's boldness, “When? So it's definitely happening?”

“Yep, it's just a matter of time,” Clarke nodded, a giggle leaving her but then her voice lowered to a seductive rasp and she was only inches away, eyes searching Lexa's face, “Before you're _mine_.”

Lexa gulped, eyes flicking between Clarke's eyes and mouth. The air around them becoming thick with tension. They were so close that Lexa could count Clarke's eyelashes. Her hand came up, cupping the side of Clarke's neck. Thumb absent mindedly stroking across the blonde's jaw. Lexa held her breath in anticipation.

“Don't run this time,” Clarke's gravelly whisper hit her like the warmth of _home_ , the blonde's breath tickling her skin.

All Lexa could do was shake her head. No, she wasn't going to run. She wanted this. She wanted Clarke more than _anything_ she'd ever wanted. The fingers of her other hand found purchase in the front of Clarke's soft sweater as she held her breath, pulling the blonde the last few millimeters and their lips bumped together, not in a kiss, just brushing. Lexa's face turning slightly so she could nose along Clarke's cheek, feeling the soft skin there before bringing their mouths back together. Their lips brushing and...

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Their eyes opened, all Lexa could see was Clarke's bright blue eyes, filled with arousal. _Fuck._ She pulled herself away to answer the door. She didn't miss the disappointment on the blonde's face but she shot Clarke what she hoped was a reassuring look. Lexa took a deep breath, squeezing Clarke's shoulder on her way passed and hoping she _didn't_ look like she had been just about to kiss the teenager senseless. She flung the door open and immediately scowled.

_Kyle fucking Wick._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think <3


	7. Broken

**7\. Broken**

Lexa was not happy. There she was, having a _wonderful_ time with her favorite blonde and then Kyle fucking Wick just _had_ to turn up and ruin it. She took a slurp of her hot cocoa. The fact it was made by Clarke comforting her somewhat. She'd settled back in her spot, leaving Wick to sit on the other couch. Not missing the way Clarke was sending her little smiles.

“Come on, Lexa,” Wick rolled his eyes, a cheeky smirk on his face, “You could at least pretend to like me.”

Lexa scowled even more, “I stopped pretending to like boys in high school.”

Clarke's snort of amusement? _That_ made her smile.

Wick frowned, “How long did you say Raven was going to be?”

“I didn't,” Clarke narrowed her eyes.

Lexa looked at her, seeing Clarke's eyes narrow. Maybe Clarke didn't like him either. She wondered why.

“Come on, Clarke,” His gaze landing obviously on her chest, tilting his head, “You could always entertain me while I wait.”

Oh, maybe that was why. Lexa's jaw tightened, she wasn't going to put up with that asshole talking to like like that-

“Fuck off, Wick,” Clarke snapped, with an eye roll, “I'm sure you have enough practice _entertaining_ yourself.”

Lexa couldn't help but be impressed. Clarke could handle herself and she was proud. She subconsciously shifted closer to the blonde.

Wick laughed, “You help a lot with my _self entertainment_.”

Lexa wrinkled her nose, how dare this asshole fantasize about Clarke while he got his rocks off...but then, she wasn't much better, was she? Lexa's face dipped. She would've kissed Clarke if he hadn't of shown up. Her stomach dropped to her feet.

“Back the fuck off or I'll touch your special place but _not_ in the way you want me to,” Clarke spat, “And _stop_ staring at my tits.”

Lexa bit her lip, she stared at Clarke's tits too. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Wick hold his hands up in surrender but his smirk remained intact. Luckily Raven was through the door in the next moment, boxes of pizza stacked in her hands.

“Hope you bitches are hungry because the pizza place was doing two for one and- Wick? What are you doing here?”

“Thought I'd stop by to see you, baby,” Wick stood up with a grin.

She could see Clarke scowl and feel the bile rise in her throat.

“Oh, uh,” Raven set the pizzas down on the breakfast bar, “Let's talk outside.”

Wick followed her out the front door and then Clarke turned to her, placing a hand on her thigh with a small smile but Lexa felt sick. She was just as bad as Kyle fucking Wick. Worse even, she'd almost kissed the blonde. She pulled away.

“Lexa?” Clarke's eyes scanned her face in confusion.

Lexa just shook her head, getting up and walking into the kitchen to get plates.

Ten minutes later and Raven and Lexa were sitting at the breakfast bar, Clarke was sitting _on_ the breakfast bar with one of the pizza boxes open between them as they helped themselves. Plates ignored on the side. Lexa noticed the little confused looks Clarke was sending her but worked hard to keep her eye contact away from the blonde.

“Wer ha'n am pe ty nit,” Raven mumbled, mouth full as she chowed down on her third slice like a champ.

“What?” Lexa ducked her head in confusion.

Raven made a show of chewing and swallowing, “We're having a party tonight.”

Lexa frowned, Raven had just sent her boyfriend away, “Wick isn't invited?”

“Fuck no,” Raven frowned, jerking her thumb towards Clarke, “You think I'd trust _Vile Kyle_ with this one? Where there's alcohol? And bedrooms?”

Lexa's eyebrows rose in surprise, Raven had a point. But then, why was she allowed to stay?

“Vile Kyle?” Clarke laughed, “Good one. Can I invite Bell and O?”

“Lexa came up with it,” Raven smiled, “Yeah, invite whoever. I figured you'd want to so I haven't invited any teachers.”

“I'll stay out of the way,” Lexa said, eyes darting to Clarke for a split second but the girl was busy inspecting her pizza.

“No fucking way,” Raven shoved at Lexa's shoulder, almost making her topple before she quickly righted herself with a hand on the breakfast bar, “You live here too, asshole. You can party with us.”

Lexa couldn't help but smile, there's no way she could ever feel excluded with a friend like Raven Reyes but, “I'm a teacher though.”

“You're not really a teacher,” Clarke piped up, “You're a writer.”

Lexa pursed her lips, avoiding eye contact but nodding and ignoring the confused look Raven sent her way.

\- - - - - - - - - -

The party was in full swing. There were people _everywhere_. Music was blaring. The lights were dimmed. And the floor was littered with plastic cups. Raven Reyes knew how to throw a fucking party. And after attempting to go to the bathroom only to walk in to find four people in a state of undress, Lexa realized that Raven was right. A Raven Reyes party always had at least one orgy. She'd lost sight of Raven a while back. After Anya arriving in fact, not that Lexa had invited her. _That_ was Raven's doing.

She found her way to the sitting room couch, clutching a whiskey. She noticed that Clarke's copy of Alice in Wonderland was still sitting open on the coffee table and carefully shut it, tucking it into the basket that lay under the table for safe keeping. She was just settling back onto the couch when Clarke came through to the sitting area, trailed by Octavia. She pulled out her phone so that it seemed like she was busy if she was noticed.

“Picturing you with Linc is so gross though,” Octavia said, following Clarke's lead and sprawling out next to the blonde on the other couch.

“Then don't,” Came Clarke's short reply.

“Where's the fun in that?” Octavia laughed, before turning serious again, “You know I don't like sharing guys with you, Griff.”

“O, seriously. I introduced you to him _today_ you can't be annoyed that I slept with him before you even knew of his existence.”

“But I really like him,” Octavia whined.

“That's great, I hope you guys hit it off.”

“Yeah but...” There was a pause before Octavia's voice came out concerned, “What if he compares me to you, you know, _in bed_.”

“He won't,” Clarke's voice softened.

“How do you know?”

Clarke sighed, “Because guys don't do that, not in the way you're thinking. Besides, he seems like a really good guy. He'll appreciate you for you.”

“You're the best, you always make me feel better,” Octavia said before giggling, “So how big is his cock?”

Lexa cringed internally, she didn't want to be within earshot of this conversation but if she left now then they'd notice her for sure.

“Can't remember,” Clarke grumbled.

“What? I thought you said you weren't drunk yesterday?” Octavia said worriedly, “Clarke, please tell me you haven't been drinking like before-”

“Jesus, Octavia!” Clarke snapped, “Maybe I just don't want to discuss the size of Lincoln dick, I've known the guy a day!”

“Never stopped you before,” Octavia's tone took on a sulky lilt, “At least tell me if he was good? Did he make you come?”

“What the fuck do you want from me? He's ten fucking inches, hung like a fucking horse! And he made me come ten fucking times, one time per inch! Is that what you want to fucking hear?”

Clarke sounded so _angry_. It pained Lexa to hear the frustration in the blonde's voice.

“Jeez, who peed in your cornflakes this morning?”

“I'm sorry,” Clarke's voice came out small, anger evaporated, “I...I'm finding things... _really_...hard.”

“I know, it's okay,” Octavia said softly, “We just need to distract you better, that's all. So...who are you taking back to your room tonight?”

“I don't know, O,” Clarke sounded defeated, “I had sex this morning, I don't know if I want to-”

“Come on, Griff. What distracts you better than alcohol and a nice fuck? What are you in the mood for tonight?”

“Girls,” Clarke said, making Lexa bite the inside of her lip.

“Then girls shall be yours to have, my friend,” Octavia laughed, “But...just for the record, Linc doesn't _actually_ have a ten inch-”

“No, Octavia,” Clarke chuckled, “Of course he doesn't.”

“Hey, isn't that our English teacher?”

 _Fuck_. Lexa prayed her pink cheeks wouldn't show up in this light, they wouldn't know that she could hear them as long as she didn't look suspicious.

“Yeah,” Clarke said, voice dropping an octave, “She lives here.”

“How come you live with _two_ of your teachers, yet you can do whatever the hell you want? You're literally drinking and snorting coke _right now_ in the same house as _two_ of your teachers. I had to tell my mom that we were having a PG sleepover _just_ to come over, if she ever knew I'd attended a party she'd ground me for life.”

Lexa frowned at that. Clarke took coke?

“Because one of them is my cousin and the other cares more about getting a good view of my tits than my drinking habits,” Clarke grumbled, “Come on, let's go outside. Please don't let me sleep with Niylah tonight...or your brother...or both of them at the same time.”

“Ew.”

“You say that but they did suggest it earlier so...don't let me, okay?”

“You got it.”

And with that they left. And Lexa's mind was reeling.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She'd retreated to her room sometime after midnight. After the conversation she'd overheard between Clarke and Octavia she just couldn't concentrate. One thing was for certain. She was right about Clarke hiding parts of herself, that much was made clear by whatever Clarke needed to distract herself from. It sound deep, dark, like she was running from it only for it to keep catching up with her. She wondered what it was but there were too many possibilities.

And was that really what Clarke thought of her? That she cared more about objectifying Clarke than about Clarke herself? She kicked herself, thinking she must have given off that impression. It wasn't true. Yes, she loved the way Clarke looked, there was no denying _that_. But she really did care about Clarke, maybe more than almost anyone else. It hurt her when the blonde wasn't happy.

And drugs? What the hell was Clarke thinking? Drugs were dangerous. But then she thought back to her own youth. There would be drugs at every party and her and Anya had definitely dabbled. It was the norm to do so.

The sound of her phone ringing pulled her from her thoughts, frowning when she saw it was Marcus.

“Hello?”

“ _Hey, Lexa, hey...how are you?”_

“It's...” She glanced at her phone, “Almost one am, what's the matter?”

“ _Um, I'm alone with Madison this weekend and well...she's upset and she's asking for you.”_

“Do you want me to come over?”

“ _Now I don't want to trouble you but-”_

“No, it's fine. You know I love her.”

She hung up, pulling a hoodie on over her tank top and hoping to get through the crowd downstairs in once piece. The only problem was that when she opened her door she heard Clarke in the hallway, yelling into her phone.

“Dad would never let you do this!” The blonde growled.

“ _He isn't here and it's about time you remembered that!”_ Came the voice from the other end.

“This isn't what he would've wanted, he-”

“ _You can't keep using him like this.”_

“Using him?”

Lexa decided to just step out of her room, she needed to get going and this sounded like it could take a while so she hoped that she could just slip past. But as blue met green, apparently Lexa had...

“ _He's dead because of you, Clarke.”_

...the worst timing ever.

“ _Stop calling me.”_

“Clarke, I-”

“Don't,” Clarke spat, holding her hand up swiftly, stopping Lexa from saying anything else.

Lexa sighed as the blonde disappeared into the bathroom. She needed to get to Madison.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Madison was indeed, very upset.

She'd been met at the door by an extremely anxious Marcus, who'd immediately ushered her into the living room where Madison sat on the couch. Big blue eyes, red rimmed. Big, fat tears running down her face. And her curls sticking to the back of neck with sweat, thanks to her excursions.

“Oh, little one,” Lexa cooed.

Madison immediately reached for her, a big sob getting caught in her throat as Lexa cradled her small frame, “Lesssssaaaaaaa.”

“It's okay, you're okay,” Lexa pressed kisses to her temple.

They sat for a while, rocking back and forth. Lexa cooing reassurances into her hair. Madison clinging to her for dear life and stuffing her little face into Lexa's neck. Marcus hovering worriedly in the doorway. It took a good twenty minutes before the sobs turned into sniffles and the toddlers eyes started drooping.

“Are you sure you can't take her back to yours?” Marcus quipped.

Lexa smiled, “I wish. There's actually a party going on over there.”

“So...I'll go to the party and you stay with the baby?”

Lexa laughed, “Trust me, I'd rather be with Madison than at a party _any_ day of the week.”

“You're so good with her, Lexa,” Marcus said, gazing fondly over the pair, “You really are. I don't know what I would do without you.”

Lexa smiled, pressing her lips to a damp cheek, “I can have her tomorrow.”

“That would be fantastic, you don't mind?”

“I don't mind,” Lexa moved to get up and a little hand shot out, grabbing her hair.

Big blue eyes fixed on hers, a little bottom lip trembling, “Lessa, don't leave.”

“I'm not leaving,” Lexa pecked her nose, turning to Marcus, “Do you have a spare room?”

“Yes, yes,” Her nodded, “It's...well it _was_...”

Lexa nodded sadly, it use to be Madison's mom's room. She climbed the stairs, the little girl secure in her arms and settled into the room. Once they were in bed she couldn't help but scan the room for any clues as to who this person was or who they use to be but the room was bare. It was clear that they didn't even want the memory of Madison's mom in the house.

She sighed, turning her full attention back onto the toddler. Madison stared at her, a hand woven into Lexa's hair so that Lexa's couldn't go anywhere and the thumb of her other hand firmly in her mouth.

“Let's get some sleep, little one,” Lexa whispered, pulling her closer, “I'll be here when you wake up.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

“Hey,” Lexa greeted Raven with a smile.

She'd spent the day at the park with Madison, feeding the beloved ducks and sharing a picnic. Madison hadn't been very happy when Lexa had dropped her off at home but she'd soothed the little girl with promises of seeing her soon and made it home herself at three pm.

“What's up, lesbo?” Raven smiled back, looking up from the TV show she was watching and eyeing Lexa over the back of the couch.

“Lesbo?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.

Raven shrugged, “I'm just trying out some nicknames.”

“I have a nickname,” Lexa pouted, “It's 'Lexa'.”

“Yeah but that's lame.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, slumping onto the opposite couch. She'd been thinking all day about whether she should bring it up or not with Raven but in the end she figured she could if she was careful, “Did you know there was coke here last night?”

 _Fuck_. She had _not_ meant to say it like _that_. She was supposed to be _subtle_. Jesus, maybe Anya was right. Maybe she really was useless.

Raven's eyes fixed on her, eyebrow raised, “Clarke?”

Lexa pursed her lips and nodded. Watching as Raven's smile fell.

“Clarke's...dealing with a lot. She's been known to do a bump or two when things get tough for her,” Raven trailed off, looking a little worried.

Lexa nodded, not sure if she could really add anything. It wasn't her place to after all, “Where is she anyway?”

“She isn't up yet, she's probably got a raging bangover.”

“A...what?”

“You know when you get really drunk and you bang someone? It's the regret of the banging and the hangover. A bangover,” Raven explained, making Lexa laugh at the Raven-ism, “She'll probably be up soon.”

As if on cue, they heard Clarke's bedroom door open and the blonde came into their line of sight. And she didn't look happy. She was freshly showered, her hair damp, her face clean. Wearing baggy pants and an equally baggy sweater. Her facial expression blank, her eyes looking empty. Lexa had _never_ seen Clarke look so... _broken_. The moment the cousins made eye contact Clarke's face crumpled. Tears steaming down her face, sobs echoing through her throat. It made Lexa _hurt._

She watched as Clarke collapsed into Raven's waiting arms, curling into her embrace like a child. Much like Madison did with Lexa last night.

“I can't do it anymore, Rae,” The sobbed racked Clarke's petite frame, “It hurts too much”

“You can and you will,” Raven said firmly, squeezing the blonde tight, “You _have_ to. Remember?”

Lexa's teeth dug into her lip so hard that she tasted blood. She'd do _anything_ to take away the obvious pain Clarke was feeling. She wanted _nothing_ more than to make everything in Clarke's world perfect. Her heart sank when she realized she was probably imposing on an incredibly intimate moment between the cousins.

“I'll go upstairs,” She said as softly as she could, her eyes fixed on Clarke, “Clarke, if you need _anything_...”

She trailed off, eyes flickering to Raven and being spurred on by Raven's thankful smile.

“I'm here.”


	8. You're Payin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the feedback.  
> It motivates me to write.  
> If anyone wants anything included, let me know. I do write ahead, (currently up to chapter 15 is completed) but I'll try to add anything in, if it fits.  
> And a <3 for my fave, Z&F.  
> I hope you guys like this one, let me know what you think.

**8\. You're Payin'**

Lexa had decided to make breakfast that morning. Firstly, it was Monday, Mondays were hard for _everyone_. There was just something about the transition from being your free self to being a caged conformer, that made a person want to _die_. Secondly, Lexa felt that Raven had probably had a tough night and Clarke _definitely_ had. So, she made pancakes.

Clarke was the first to emerge, slipping silently into a breakfast stool and avoiding any eye contact. Her whole demeanor was quiet. Lexa was saved from having to try to think of something to say by Raven coming, noisily, into the kitchen, looking disheveled and sleep deprived.

“I swear Monday should just _die_ already, what the fuck is the point of them?” Raven complained, sinking down into the seat next to Clarke, “Although...if Mondays were no longer Mondays then I guess Tuesdays would be Mondays and then Tuesdays would suck major balls so we'd be fucked anyway...I guess we should just quit our jobs and move to the Bahamas, sound good?”

Lexa chuckled at Raven squinting up at her, “Sure, sounds good.”

“Great, coz you're payin'.”

“Wait, what?” Lexa frowned.

“You're loaded right? So you give me all your money and I can retire happily in the Bahamas, kay?”

“How about,” Lexa turned quickly, grabbing the fresh stack of pancakes she'd made and holding them up with a goofy smile, “I give you pancakes instead?”

Raven frowned at her for a moment before shrugging, “Eh, close enough.”

She fixed the three of them plates and they ate in comfortable silence, except for the slurping sounds made by Raven every time she reached for her coffee. The quiet carried until Raven had gotten her fill of pancakes and turned to Clarke.

“You feelin' better, Clarkey?”

The blonde shrugged, eyes downcast, “I don't know.”

“Wanna stay home today?” Raven asked, rubbing a hand up and down Clarke's back.

Clarke shook her head no, “I want to get my mind off...stuff.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Raven nodded, “But if you want to come home just text me. You were pretty bad last night.”

“I know,” Clarke sent her cousin a flat smile, “Everything just got on top of me and then...when you wake up knowing you've screwed someone but have _no_ idea who, I guess you know it's bad.”

A humorless chuckle left the blonde's throat before she visibly deflated.

“It's okay, Clarke,” Raven nudged her, “With what's going on with you at the moment, you're doing _a lot_ better than most people would. Okay?”

Clarke nodded but made no movement to involve herself in any more conversation.

\- - - - - - - - - -

As usual, Clarke was late to English class. Lexa just expected it now. She had to admit, having English as your first lesson _every_ day would no doubt be a pain in the ass. _Especially_ on a Monday morning. Whose brain functioned enough to psychoanalyze Shakespeare or personify an Emily Dickenson poem that early in the morning? Still, Lexa thought, at least she didn't teach math. Actually, she'd be pretty incapable of teaching math.

It was like a routine, Clarke being late. Maybe it would feel odd if the blonde made it on time and throw Lexa's whole day off course. She was so use to the rhythmic rap of knuckles against her door fifteen minutes into her class and then the blonde creeping over to her seat. And today was no different.

There was Clarke, late as usual. Sitting next to Octavia. Lexa wouldn't call her out on it, not after knowing that Clarke was going through something. Not after _seeing_ how broken Clarke seemed, curled up on the couch with Raven. Sobbing into the Latina's shoulder. Not after seeing how subdued Clarke had been that morning, pushing pancakes around her plate with a fork but barely consuming any. And Lexa _knew_ she made good pancakes, the pancakes weren't the problem.

Once she'd explained the task and the class had settled into completing it, she noticed that Clarke and Octavia weren't. She noticed that they were just chatting with each other in hushed tones instead. She wasn't going to comment on that either, she was just genuinely relieved to see Clarke engaged with her friend and even sharing a few subtle laughs.

She looked at her phone subtly when she felt it vibrate.

**Anya: Sister bonding at The Ark tonight?**

That was probably a good idea. She was already planning on seeing Madison after work. She wanted to stay out of the house and give Clarke and Raven some space, she knew that if she was having a difficult time then the last thing she'd want is someone she didn't know very well to be in her space. This way she could be out of the house until late, maybe Anya would be up for grabbing some dinner before heading to The Ark. She vaguely remembered Anya mentioning that Echo's brother owned a restaurant.

**Lexa: Count me in. Dinner first? At Echo's bro's place?**

**Anya: Azgeda? They do really good burgers. I'm up for dinner. 7?**

**Lexa: I'll be there.**

**Anya: I'd hope so. You're paying.**

Lexa chuckled after reading Anya's latest text. _Of course_.

\- - - - - - - - - -

“Clarke seemed a little happier this morning,” Lexa mused.

Raven, who was sprawled out on the couch in the teacher's lounge, turned to face Lexa. Chewing thoughtfully on her sandwich. The duo had taken to eating in teacher's lounge over the cafeteria, it was quieter. And, more importantly, there was no Kyle Wick. Although Costia tended to pop in and join them at some point throughout lunch.

“She's a good kid,” Raven rolled her eyes at herself, “Scratch that, I would never think of her as a kid. She's been through _way_ to much to be considered a child. Clarke always manages to claw her way back to sanity, every time she hits rock bottom.”

Lexa frowned, eyeing her friend, “Does she hit rock bottom often?”

Raven shrugged non-committaly, “It comes in waves with Clarke. She's working towards something and usually that keeps her feet on the ground but then everything gets too much and she gets into this spiral of losing control. She drinks, sleeps around...sometimes does a little more than that.”

Lexa nodded. She knew Raven was talking about the coke.

“It's all just...it's shitty but she knows it and then somehow she pulls herself back together,” Raven shrugged, “Seriously, I don't know how she does it. If I was her...”

Lexa watched as Raven got a far off look on her face before she shook her head and smiled sadly, focusing back on Lexa.

“It was a little worse than usual this time though,” Raven said softly, “And I can't say that I'm not worried, you know?”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded, “Like, what if next time is even worse?”

Raven nodded in agreement, “But I have to believe that she'll get what she's working towards. If she doesn't...it'll kill her.”

Lexa swallowed thickly, her eyes hitting the table. Just the thought of things getting that bad for Clarke gave her a sinking feeling.

“Hey, guys!” Costia interrupted the heavy moment, smiling widely as she sat next to Lexa at the table, “I see you're both signed up to chaperone the camping trip at Mount Weather?”

“What camping trip?” Lexa frowned.

“The camping trip for the seniors? It's supposed to be to collect soil samples but everyone just treats it as a mini vacation,” Costia frowned, “I could've sworn I saw both of you names.”

Lexa's eyes narrowed in suspicion as soon as her gaze fell upon Raven Reyes adorning a shit eating grin, “Raven?”

“You, me, a tent,” Raven wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “Bottle of rum? It's time for me to take the second sister on a test drive.”

“How romantic,” Lexa grimaced, “Wait, second sister? Does that mean you and Anya...ew.”

“There is _nothing_ ew about me and your sister,” Raven chuckled, “So what do you say, hot stuff? Are you ready to show me what you got?”

“Raven,” Lexa whined, “I _hate_ camping.”

“So does Clarke but she has to go. And I have to go because I owe the principle a favor so...”

“So?” Lexa frowned.

“So that means you have to come, _obviously_ ,” Raven rolled her eyes, “Look if me and Clarke are stuck in the wilderness, in fucking _tents_ for an entire weekend then you, as the third member of our household, also has to be.”

“Let me get this straight...”

“You can try but you and the word _straight_ don't go together.”

“You and Clarke,” Lexa continued, ignoring Raven's comment, “Have to suffer through a camping trip and somehow that automatically means that I have to suffer too?”

Raven grinned with a nod of her head, “What are friends for?”

Well, Raven had Lexa there, she sighed in defeat, “Yeah, okay.”

“Stop pouting,” Raven chuckled, “It'll be fun, we'll sneak in some booze.”

“But if we're the teachers then won't we be sneaking alcohol past _ourselves_ ,” Lexa frowned in confusion.

“Yeah! That's the fun part, I'll sneak it past you and you can sneak it passed me!”

“What?”

“And if that fails we'll just barter with Clarkey, coz you just _know_ she'll bring booze,” Raven sent her another grin.

“I think it'll be fun,” Costia said, startling Lexa, who'd forgotten Costia was even in the room, “I'll be there, we can even share a tent if you don't have one of your own?”

Lexa's eyes widened as Costia looked up at her expectantly, hope evident but...

“Nah, I got Lex covered.”

Thank God for Raven Reyes.

“When exactly is this camping trip?” Lexa asked.

“Not this weekend but next,” Raven answered, “Aren't your parents visiting this weekend?”

“Mom and brother, dad's working,” Lexa frowned suspiciously, she hadn't mentioned her mom coming up to Raven, “Just how much time are you spending with my sister, Raven Reyes?”

Raven smirked, “No time clothed, that's for sure.”

“Ugh,” Lexa gagged in disgust, earning a look of amusement from Costia.

“You don't have your little buddy to join in with your gag-fest this time,” Raven laughed, “So I can talk about boning your sister all I want.”

“ _Jesus_ ,” Lexa groaned, “Where's Clarke when you need her?”

“Do you ever not need her?” Raven teased, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively before seeming to realize that Costia was also in the room and probably wouldn't appreciate _that_ joke. Thinking quick on her feet, the Latina turned to Costia, “Clarke's been helping Lexa cook, this one,” She jerked her thumb in Lexa's direction, “Is _terrible_ with a frying pan.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

“Sleep with Clarke yet?”

Lexa glowered at her sister from across the table. The rest of her work day had gone smoothly. She'd had Clarke and Octavia again in her special education class, just like she did every Monday and Friday. This time with the addition of Lincoln. She was incredibly happy to see that Clarke was mostly back to normal, chatting animatedly with Octavia and teasing Octavia and Lincoln whenever they did anything cutesy. She'd sent Clarke a text saying that if she wanted to skip this period then she'd write her a note. Clarke hadn't skipped but she had sent Lexa a soft smile in return and that soft smile _might_ have made Lexa's heart flutter.

She'd picked up Madison from the daycare center after work, taking the toddler to the park to feed the ducks. Madison had declared them 'her ducks' when a particularly friendly one had plucked a crust right from the toddlers hand, causing Lexa's anxiety to peak but the little girl had just giggled at the worried look on her face. They'd had such a nice time that Lexa hadn't realized how late it was getting and instead of dropping the toddler off first, she'd shot a text to Marcus, telling him that she'd feed the toddler and took Madison with her to Azgeda.

Now, with Madison strapped into a booster seat and happily playing with the bracelets she'd pulled off of Lexa's wrist, Lexa glowered right at her sister. Because _of course_ that was the first thing Anya said when she'd slid into the seat opposite.

“My day was great, thanks for asking,” Lexa prodded.

“Whatever,” Anya rolled her eyes, “I saw her with that blonde chick, anyway.”

“What?” Lexa frowned.

“At the party. I saw her with that blonde chick she was hanging out with,” Anya wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “Doing some heavy petting before Clarke dragged her back to her room.”

Oh. That's who Clarke slept with. _Niylah._

Then Anya was eyeing the toddler, “I see you've brought your backup.”

“Oh yes,” Lexa smiled in amusement, “If I get into a street fight then she's ready, blades up her sleeves and everything.”

“Not that kind of backup, you idiot,” Anya scoffed, “She's your wing woman.”

“My what?” Lexa frowned.

“You haven't noticed the ladies giving you heart eyes because of the babe? Seriously, that thing is so cute _all_ the women will be eating out of the palm of your hand.”

“Did you just...” Lexa trailed off in astonishment, “Ahn, you can't call her 'that thing', she's a human being. Aren't you little one?”

Madison looked up, her big blue eyes connected with Lexa's. Her little face taking on a thoughtful expression for a second before she gave a big, certain nod.

“See?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah but a _really_ small one,” Anya rolled her eyes.

“Well,” Lexa shrugged, “Good things come in small packages.”

“You're just saying that because Clarke is short,” Anya rolled her eyes, cutting Lexa off when she opened her mouth to argue, “And so is the kid. Where's the waitress? I'm starving.”

“I've already ordered,” Lexa pouted, gesturing to the pair of iced teas in front of them.

“Cool, so I hear Raven's having another party this weekend?”

Lexa frowned. She didn't know anything about any party. Why did everyone know more than her all of a sudden? Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, “Raven huh? When did you talk to her?”

Anya shrugged casually, “I've just seen her around.”

“You've just...seen her around?” Lexa smiled smugly, “Seems like you two are bumping into each other an awful lot.”

“What like you and Clarke?” Anya challenge, making Lexa pout. Then Anya's smile turned devilish, “Or like you _wish_ you bumped into Clarke?”

Lexa scowled but before she could retaliate the waitress was there to drop off their burgers.

Anya raised an eyebrow, “There's only two burgers but three of us?”

Lexa rolled her eyes, putting her bracelets back on and lifting Madison, sitting the toddler on her lap so that Madison could reach her fries, “She can't have an entire burger to herself.”

“You're the one that said she was human!”

Lexa scoffed in amusement, tickling Madison's belly and ducking her head down next to the toddler's to kiss her cheek. Madison smiled, humming softly while slowly eating a fry.

“Mom's coming on Friday, they're leaving once Aden finishes school and she wants you to hang out with him on Saturday so that me and her can go shopping.”

“Why am I not invited shopping?” Lexa looked up, catching eyes with Anya.

“You hate shopping,” Anya said, “So does Aden.”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded in agreement, “It'll be good to see him anyway.”

“Lessa,” Madison whispered, gaining both sister's attention. The little girl held up a new fry, eyes fixed on Lexa, “Fy for Anna.”

The squeal of joy that left Anya's throat as she just about _melted_ made Lexa laugh loudly.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She got back late from The Ark, Anya kept convincing her to have 'just one more' drink. Luckily she wasn't drunk, she'd switched to soft drinks but she _was_ tired. She got ready for bed and headed downstairs for a glass of water. The lights were all turned off except for the soft glow of the lights placed under the kitchen cabinets that were at head height, creating a calm atmosphere.

Raven was leaning against the the breakfast bar, nursing a steaming mug and clearly ready for bed. While Clarke was sitting cross legged on the counter opposite her cousin, her own mug balanced precariously on her knee.

“Where have you been?” Raven raised an eyebrow.

“I was babysitting and had dinner The Ark. What about you guys?”

“We were jus- wait, were you on a date?” Raven narrowed her eyes.

Lexa frowned, getting serious deja vu, “Yes,” Raven's eyes widened and, much to Lexa's satisfaction, her answer also peaked Clarke's interest, “With Anya.”

Raven deflated disappointedly, “Oh. Well Clarke and I- _wait_ , you went to The Ark with Anya and didn't invite me?”

Lexa's eyes narrowed, hadn't she had this _exact_ conversation with Anya?

“We...I...I thought you'd be with Clarke,” Lexa's eyes found the blonde.

“Wait a second, did you stay out of the house _just_ because Clarke was sad?” Raven asked, tone surprised.

Lexa's eyes nervously danced between Raven's pleasantly surprised expression and Clarke's confused one, “I...yes. I just didn't want to- I just thought that-”

“Lexa, calm,” Raven laughed, placing a hand on Lexa's shoulder, “It's really nice of you, we appreciate you caring. Right, Clarke?”

Clarke gave her a nod with pursed lips and slightly narrowed eyes. Lexa's eyes met the floor.

“But you can always come home, you know? Even when one of us isn't feeling great. We just ordered Chinese food and watched Netflix,” Raven yawned, rubbing at Lexa's shoulder before pressing a kiss to Clarke's cheek, “Goodnight, bitches. I'm going to bed.”

The chorus of, “Night,” Following Raven up the stairs.

The blonde bit her lip, tipping her head to the side as she eyed Lexa and after a long moment she jumped down from the counter. Brushing their arms together on her way past. And Lexa watched as Clarke disappeared into her room and continued to look at the slightly ajar door. She needed to apologize, she didn't need things to feel this awkward. With a deep breath she followed the blonde.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...I just didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable and-” Her words died on her tongue. She'd made it through the white door and was hovering awkwardly, staring at Clarke's _naked_ back. Even Clarke's _back_ was perfect.

Before she could say anything Clarke turned around to face her and suddenly Clarke's back was the _least_ of Lexa's problems. And she was _staring_. She couldn't _not_. Clarke's breast were without a doubt, beautiful. And _perfect_. And _Clarke_. And maybe Lexa needed a cold shower or something because there was _no_ reason she should be this speechless at a pair of breasts but they were _very_ nice breasts and the photo Lexa had seen _really_ didn't do them justice.

Words. She needed words. She needed to _stop_ looking and she needed words.

“I..I...wow.”

 _Shit_. Those were _not_ the words. After a self inflicted, mental slap to the face, she dragged her eyes up to Clarke's face. And _God_ that face wasn't a good idea because Clarke was sporting a rather seductive smirk and Lexa could feel herself blushing.

“I'm so sorry, Clarke.”

“It's nothing you haven't seen before,” Clarke shrugged, smirk still firmly planted, sauntering away to her closet and leaving Lexa dumbfounded. Lexa high tailed it out of there.

Clarke _seductress_ Griffin was back with full force. Lexa was _fucked_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	9. Just One Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's one a little early for you, cj_wormley.  
> Thanks for your support.  
> Z&F <3

**9\. Just One Kiss**

She barely slept. After seeing Clarke's naked chest, the image _burned_ into her mind, her mind didn't seem to want to be anywhere else. It seemed very happy to just stay on that image, maybe even forever. But she _couldn't_. She needed to stop. She was so _painfully_ turned on after the encounter that she just couldn't rest. She briefly considered taking care of the problem but she didn't feel like she could. Not in this house. It would be _so_ fucked up. 'Thanks for letting me stay here, Raven. Mind if I just masturbate over your seventeen year old cousin in your spare room? Kay, thanks.'

She heard the shower when she went into the bathroom to brush her teeth but she knew Raven didn't mind.

“Hey, I'm just brushing my teeth,” She called out, heading to the sink. Just as she'd started brushing her teeth she heard a reply from behind the shower curtain.

“I don't mind.”

 _That_ was not Raven. She'd know the husky lilt to that voice anywhere. It almost made her choke on the toothpaste. _Fuck_. She gulped, accidentally swallowing some.

She frowned, “I thought you had an en-suit?”

“I do,” Came Clarke's reply, “But I broke my shower curtain and I didn't want to soak my entire bathroom.”

She nodded to herself. Working faster on her teeth so that she could get out of there. She did _not_ need to be within close proximity of a naked Clarke Griffin. She blinked heavily to rid her mind of any thoughts, she _knew_ where those thoughts would lead her. She quickly brushed her teeth and rinsed her mouth out. Turning to flee _just_ as Clarke stepped out of the shower.

And there Clarke was, in the flesh. _Literally_. Lexa's greedy eyes couldn't take her in fast enough. The water droplets trickling down Clarke's collar bone. She noticed that instead of covering up, like most people would do, Clarke didn't. No, Clarke Griffin stood proudly in all her naked glory with her hands casually falling to her sides. Lexa bit her lip, Clarke _should_ be proud. Clarke was _spectacular_.

Clarke's ample chest, her rounds tits looking mouth waveringly delicious. The pretty, pink nipples seeming to harden under Lexa's gaze. She'd never been jealous of water before but when a drop caressed the side of Clarke's breast, Lexa _was_. She licked her lips.

Before she could get stuck imagining her face buried between the firm globes, her eyes travelled downwards. Moving from Clarke's petite waist, over the blonde's soft stomach in a caress, landing on Clarke's generous hips. Lexa's fingers twitched to dig into them, to hold them. Lexa _loved_ Clarke's hips. Her lips tingling to run across those hipbones.

Her eyes dropped to Clarke's legs, taking in soft, toned flesh. Working upwards to the thighs she fantasized about spreading, about wrapping around her waist...or head. Her breath came out in a pant. Her mouth filling with saliva. And her eyes coming into contact with the affix of the blonde's thighs. _Fuck._

Lexa's eyes widened, her mouth parting slightly. She _knew_ she must look so turned on right now. She was briefly surprised that the blonde had any hair but she was glad that she did. And as she took in the very neat, blonde patch of hair her body practically hummed in appreciation. It was so very _Clarke_. Sexy and homey at the same time. Clarke was the whole package, in or out of clothes.

It took the clearing of a throat for Lexa to realize that she was just standing there, audaciously staring at Clarke's most intimate place. Lexa's eyes found Clarke's quickly but she wished that they hadn't when she noticed the amused look on the blonde's face. Clarke wasn't the slightest bit embarrassed, nor did she seem at all affected by Lexa blatantly checking her out. Just slightly amused.

Clarke flashed her a smug smile, “If you're done staring, can you pass me a towel?”

Lexa squeezed her eyes shut. Clarke might not be embarrassed but _she_ was. She felt her cheeks burning hot. She reached for the towel wrack behind her blindly, grabbing the first one that came into contact with her fingers and practically shoving it into Clarke's hands. Watching as Clarke held it up to her front instead of wrapping it around her.

The blonde cocked her head to the side, wet hair flicking in the process, taking Lexa in for a further moment and making it extremely difficult for Lexa to breath under the scrutiny, “Thanks.”

“Sorry!” Lexa blurted out, sounding absolutely pathetic in her opinion. Still, she patted herself on the back for actually getting a word out.

“You can look,” Clarke said, eyes boring in to Lexa's, “I want you to.”

The same words that were spoken in her classroom. The word washed over Lexa like a caress, making her mouth open a little bit in an attempt to form a reply but then Clarke was turning around and making a retreat. Giving Lexa an amazing view of the back of her. Lexa couldn't help but to stare at the blonde's shapely, round ass as she swayed her hips in departure.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She sighed, rubbing her eyes as she dragged herself downstairs.

“Hey!”

She looked up to see Raven and Clarke cuddled up on the couch, both clad in comfy pajamas. A steaming coffee pot and three mugs set in front of them. It made her smile that they'd set out a mug for her too. She joined them, sinking down onto the other couch. Maybe they could just forget about what happened, Clarke didn't seem to be affected anyway.

“We were just talking about you,” Raven said

“What?” Her eyes shot up to Raven's, stomach dropping.

“Camping,” Clarke smirked from where her face was resting on Raven's shoulder.

Lexa deflated with a sigh, a grimace coming to her face, “Yeah, I'm _so_ excited.”

Raven laughed at the lack of enthusiasm in Lexa's voice.

“Anya told Raven that you camped a lot when you were younger,” Clarke cocked a brow, giving Lexa a collaborative look, “You know, since Anya and Raven are _so_ close.”

“I know right!” Lexa's eyes widened, “I swear Anya talks to Raven more than she does _me_.”

Clarke giggled, sitting up and pouring herself and Lexa a coffee, handing Lexa the mug.

“Bite me,” Raven grumbled.

“No thanks,” Clarke frowned prettily before a smirk came to her lips, “But Anya might.”

“You can fuck off!” Raven laughed, tickling Clarke's side until she joined in with a shriek. Raven turned on Lexa, “And _you_ can't comment because you're a virgin.”

“I'm not a-” She scowled, there was no winning here.

“Come on!” Rave rolled her eyes dramatically, “I bet you've never hooked up with anyone.”

Lexa pursed her lips, her attention falling to Clarke, “Speaking of hooking up, you were worried about who you ended up with on Saturday, right?”

The smiled dropped from Clarke's mouth as her eyes snapped up to Lexa's.

“Sorry, I...” Lexa licked her lips, “It's just...Anya saw who and I-”

“Who?” Clarke's eyes narrowed.

“Niylah.”

Clarke's face fell, her hand coming up to her forehead, “Dammit. I _knew_ this would happen. I asked her if she had any idea who I ended up with and she pretended she didn't know.”

“Oh, Clarkey,” Raven hummed, rubbing the blonde's back sympathetically.

“She told O that if we keep sleeping together then I'll get feelings for her,” Clarke shook her head, biting her lip, “Jesus, I think I would've rather ended up with _Bellamy_.”

“It _must_ be bad if you'd rather sleep with _Bellamy_ ,” Raven laughed, making Clarke smile, “Could you get feeling for her?”

“I just don't see her like that,” Clarke shook her head before making eye contact with Lexa, “I've got my eye on someone else.”

Lexa swallowed thickly, blushing under Clarke's intense gaze. Her hopes of just forgetting the whole _bathroom incident_ forgotten.

“Then you're just going to have to be firm with her. Let that bitch know she hasn't got a chance with you,” Raven dead panned. Making Clarke laugh and _thankfully_ look away from Lexa, “What?”

\- - - - - - - - - -

**Clarke: You look incredibly sexy in black. Did you know?**

Lexa gulped. Was Clarke trying to kill her? Her eyes flicked up from the text to see Clarke deep in discussion with Octavia. Perhaps they were discussing the latest assignment but Lexa doubted it. She wouldn't text back. She probably shouldn't text back.

**Lexa: Do your work.**

There, that would shut Clarke up. Lexa smiled, going back to her emails. But...

**Clarke: Don't you want to know what color my panties are today?**

Lexa scowled. _Why yes, Clarke. I always want to know what color your panties are but I'm your teacher and we are_ currently _in class._ Her eyes drifted back up to the blonde in question, her teeth sinking into her lower lip. Clarke was still talking to Octavia. It was as if the blonde hadn't even sent a text in the first place. It made Lexa feel awkward. She shouldn't be the only one affected by this. With a look of determination she replied.

**Lexa: My imagination works just fine, thanks.**

She kept her eyes on Clarke, watching as the blonde subtly checked her phone. She was expecting Clarke to blush or gasp or... _something_. But no. Of course not. Clarke Griffin did _not_ get embarrassed. Not because of Lexa, at least. Her eyes went back to her phone. Her blush firmly in place but now with a little scowl, she was annoyed. She was annoyed that she'd given in and she was annoyed at herself for being so utterly useless. If Anya were here right now there's no doubt that she'd be calling Lexa a 'useless fucking lesbian'.

**Clarke: Does reality live up to the expectations of your imagination?**

And suddenly they weren't talking about underwear anymore. Lexa bit her lip. And when Lexa looked at Clarke, the nonchalance was gone. Replaced by a soft look as Clarke kept her eyes on her work. Lexa looked back at the text.

**Lexa: I'm sorry I saw you.**

She hoped that would be it. Maybe apologizing would set things back on track. Were they on track? As on track as they were _before_ she'd seen Clarke naked, at least.

**Clarke: That doesn't answer my question...**

Lexa sighed in defeat. Teacher or not. Friend or not. Lover or not. She was _never_ going to be the cause of Clarke feeling inadequate in any way, not if she could help it. This one she had to answer honestly, no matter what

**Lexa: You're beautiful, Clarke. Inside and out.**

She kept her eyes down after that. A pink blush on her cheeks. She didn't want to know Clarke's reaction. She didn't want to see it if the blonde didn't believe her. And luckily there was no text back.

\- - - - - - - - - -

It was becoming a regular enough occurrence to call daily now, Lexa picking Madison up from daycare after work. On the days that it wasn't arranged for her to collect the little girl, Marcus texting her to ask if she could. Something Lexa wasn't aware of before was that Madison spent every day at daycare, before she'd just assumed it was only a few times a week but it wasn't.

She found it slightly strange, if she was being honest. Madison spending all day at daycare and then most evenings and weekends with her. Not that she was complaining. She loved spending time with Madison, she couldn't understand why someone wouldn't want to but maybe that wasn't it. Maybe they were just really busy.

So they situated themselves in Grounders Café with a coloring book and some felt tip pens. Lexa nursing a cup of coffee and Madison a carton of apple juice. The day was chilly so the park was a no go and Lexa didn't have the energy to find something more entertaining. Madison didn't care. The toddler just seemed happy to be close to Lexa, sitting on her knee and focusing on their shared artwork.

“Was daycare fun?” Lexa asked quietly, using the yellow to color in the beak of a parrot when Madison's little hand stopped her. The toddler took the yellow and replaced it with the orange, making Lexa smile, “Oh, sorry. Orange is much more appropriate.”

Madison nodded before going back to carefully coloring one of the feathers a light blue, a similar shade to the little girl's eyes, “Don't like daycare.”

Lexa frowned, her heart breaking a little bit. Was Madison just sitting around all day, not enjoying herself? “Why not?”

“Shy,” Madison said in a whisper, “Didn't have daycare before.”

“Before what?”

Madison was silent for a while, just gently coloring. Lexa didn't think the toddler was going to answer before the toddler's head dipped further down, “Mommy.”

Lexa's eyes squeezed shut to prevent the tears. Her heart breaking for the little girl. The little girl who didn't like daycare because she was shy and who didn't even have to attend daycare before, when she had her mommy. _Fuck_. Lexa lent down, rubbing her cheek against soft curls, lips pressed to Madison's little ear, “I'm sorry.”

Big, sad, blue eyes met hers when Madison tilted her head away to look at Lexa, “You love me like mommy.”

“I love you very much,” Lexa nodded in agreement.

Madison went back to her coloring in, humming to herself quietly, “Love you too, Lessa.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

Raven wasn't there when she got home. She had a sneaking suspicion that the Latina was with Anya, since Anya hadn't answered Lexa's call when Lexa had been on her way home. She was happy for them, they suited each other. She hoped they'd get together properly, then Raven would have _no_ reason to associate herself with Kyle Wick and that was a massive bonus in Lexa opinion. She was fixing herself a mug of herbal tea, pomegranate and raspberry, when she was pulled from her thoughts.

“Lexa, is that you?” Clarke's strained voice sounded from behind her bedroom door.

“Yeah, you okay?” Lexa frowned.

“I...need some help.”

Lexa was confused, she made her way over to Clarke's bedroom. What could Clarke possibly need her help with? She walked straight into the room and immediately froze.

 _Oh_.

There Clarke was, laying back on her bed. Comforter draped strategically to cover her between her open thighs but otherwise completely nude. Her mused hair fanned out on the pillow below her head. Her eyes dark with arousal. Her pink tongue taking swipes at her slightly parted lips, where little sighs and soft whimpers were coming from. Her back arching slightly off the bed with every movement of her hand that was dipped under the comforter, between her open thighs. Her other hand palming and squeezing her breast.

 _Fuck_.

Lexa was frozen, her eyes wide. She'd _never_ seen something so beautiful in all her life and she couldn't look away. Clarke Griffin aroused and touching herself? Lexa thought she might actually die from the thought alone and now she had a front row seat. She couldn't even _blink_ , in fear of missing something if she did. Clarke was _everything_. Sensual, sexy, alluring, arousing. So very, very tempting.

Lexa's teeth bit into her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. If this _was_ going to kill her, at least she could die happy after seeing this, right? Her eyes fixed on the hand that had previously been working slowly between the blonde's legs as it was brought upwards. Lexa gasping at the sight of glistening fingers. Her eyes never straying as said fingers were enclosed by full lips. A low moan leaving the blonde's mouth, blue met green as Clarke _tasted_ herself in front of Lexa. While looking _directly_ at Lexa.

Lexa licked her lips, her own tongue _begging_ to taste too. She watched as Clarke got to her knees on the bed, the comforter falling away and Lexa willed her eyes not to fall between the blonde's legs. Instead she kept her gaze on Clarke, who was inching forward until she was at the edge of the bed. Lexa didn't realize she was within touching distance until it was too late and the blonde took her hands, threading their fingers together and tugging Lexa forward.

Lexa gasped, her hands being led to naked hips and she couldn't get enough of the feeling. The skin soft, supple under her fingers. Clarke's hands landing on Lexa's shoulder, thumbs brushing her neck. And Lexa felt like she was burning everywhere their skin touched. Lexa's eye flickered closed for a second to appreciate the feeling before green met blue once again.

“Taste,” Clarke whispered, voice thick with arousal and washing over Lexa like a wave. Lexa's muscles clenching at the sound.

Lexa felt Clarke's breath fanning over her face before their noses were bumping and Clarke's lips were brushing against hers. They'd been like this before, twice in fact. In this state of almost kissing but not quite, while their lips just brushed deliciously. Lexa didn't know which she wanted more, to finally kiss Clarke or to run for the hills.

Clarke, apparently, had ideas of her own. Clarke used the slight opening of Lexa's mouth in a sigh at the brush of lips to push harder, darting her tongue into Lexa's mouth in a firm lick before their lips caught properly and the blonde let out a moan.

Clarke Griffin was an amazing kisser. Clarke's kisses were _filthy_ and had Lexa panting into the blonde's mouth in no time at all. Clarke went from languid strokes of her tongue to nipping at Lexa's bottom lip. The give and take setting Lexa alight. Her arms firmly wrapping around Clarke to pull their bodies closer together.

Lexa never wanted to stop kissing her. She wanted to spend the rest of her days locking lips with this girl. Their mouths met again and again deeply, pushing harshly at each other. It was passionate, it was _erotic_ and soon enough their teeth were clashing as it heated up into a wet mess. Their tongues shooting out with no goal other than to make contact with _anything_.

And Lexa _could_ taste. She could _taste_ Clarke. Clarke's lips that tasted like the vanilla chap stick the blonde was always wearing. Her tongue tasting tangy, sweet with an edge of bitterness and making Lexa groan when she remember _why_ the blonde tasted like that. Lexa couldn't get enough. Sucking Clarke's tongue into her mouth in a desperate attempt to taste her more fully.

After landing a particularly harsh nip to Lexa's lip, the blonde pulled back. Resting their foreheads together, panting against Lexa's kiss swollen lips.

“Are you going to _help_ me, Lexa?” The arousal in Clarke's voice making her body practically hum.

The words made Lexa _ache_ but the distance sobered her instantly.

“I can't,” Lexa squeezed her eyes shut regrettably, swallowing hard to get herself under control. When her eyes opened again seeing a hint of insecurity within the blue in front of her. She held Clarke just a little bit closer, practically hugging the blonde now, “I want you. _Jesus_ , Clarke you _know_ how much I want you but I...”

Clarke pulled away, de-tangling Lexa's arms from around her. And Lexa just blinked at Clarke with a pout, like the blonde had taken away her favorite toy. But Clarke Griffin was no toy. Clarke was _everything_.

“I'm sorry,” Lexa said weakly, her eyes fixed on the floor so that she didn't have to see the disappointment on the blonde's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, let me know what you think!


	10. Panic

**10\. Panic**

* * *

* * *

Lexa avoided Clarke like the plague. She'd stayed in her room until she was sure Clarke had left for school, making her late to work. But also meaning that Clarke was already sitting in class, looking bored when she'd entered. And she'd excused herself five minutes before the end of the class with an 'important phone call' so that _if_ Clarke happened to loiter at the end then Lexa wouldn't even be there to speak to.

Maybe Anya was right. Maybe she was a bad teacher.

She pondered it for a moment before sinking further into the couch in the teacher's lounge. Maybe she should have that 'important phone call' after all.

“I kissed Clarke.”

“ _You did what now?”_

“I don't know what to do,” She mumbled sadly.

“ _I didn't know you had it in you. Honestly, squid. I never thought your game would be strong enough to get a girl like Clarke Griffin. Wait...when you say you kissed her do you mean in your mind again?”_

“What?” Lexa frowned, “No, Anya, not in my mind. In real life....hold on, what do you mean _again_?”

“ _Right, real life. Mhm but like, on the hand right?”_

“No!”

“ _Cheek?”_

“Ahn!”

“ _You didn't kiss her one the lips! Shut up, Lexa! Wait...by kiss, do you mean you tripped and accidentally-”_

“Anya, I swear to God, I-”

“ _Okay! I'm sorry, I just didn't think you had any chance to hit that, okay?”_

“Thank you, Anya. Way to have my back,” Lexa rolled her eyes.

“ _Come on, I'm just surprised and a little impressed really. I mean, have you seen that girl? Could I get a girl that hot? Yes. You....eh.”_

Lexa scoffed, “I'm hanging up-”

“ _No, wait. Alright, you kissed her...so?”_

“So? I'm freaking out!”

“ _Right, right, of course. What else would you do? It's only natural. I think anyone would freak out if a girl seven million times out of their league-”_

“I'm not freaking out because she's out of my league!”

“ _Oh...then...oh, I get it. You're freaking out because she's a way better kisser than you and now you think she's going to tell everyone how crap you are and-”_

“You know what? Forget I even told you.”

“ _Because you made it up?”_

“I didn't make it up!”

“ _It's okay, squid. I get ya. I won't tell anyone you made it up if you want to brag.”_

“Bye, Anya.”

“ _Wait! Just to clarify, you're calling me because you kissed Clarke in your wet dream last night?”_

“Oh my God, Anya! No! I didn't kiss her in my mind! I didn't kiss her in a wet fucking dream! I full on, made out with her, tongues and everything. In. Real. Life.”

“ _Is she a good kisser in your dreams?”_

“Yes, she's a good kisser, beyond great. Maybe the best kiss of my life but it wasn't a dream, Anya. I really did kiss her!”

“Best kiss of your life, huh?”

Lexa's mouth hit the floor, she was absolutely _mortified_. There, standing in the doorway was Clarke Griffin. Arms folded and head cocked to the side and her usual smirk in place. _Fuck_.

“ _Lexa? Lexa? Hello?”_

“Anya...let me call you back.”

“ _Wait!”_

“What?” She snapped, not taking her eyes off of Clarke.

“ _If you manage to get to second base next time you kiss her in your mind, will you tell me about it because even in your imagination those boobs are-”_

She hung up as quickly as possible, scrambling with her phone in her hands to try to hit the right button. Wishing the ground would just swallow her.

“Clarke, I-”

“Lexa,” Clarke cut her off, rolling her eyes, “I was looking for Raven.”

“Oh,” Lexa sighed in relief, “I haven't seen her.”

Clarke pursed her lips, giving Lexa a nod before leaving without another word.

Lexa was beyond embarrassed. What the hell was she thinking, calling Anya? Anya was _no_ help. Why did she ever think Anya would be? She cursed herself. She just wanted to go home.

Then she remembered that she lived with Clarke Griffin.

\- - - - - - - - - -

“Are you going to eat that?”

Lexa was pulled from her thoughts by a face ducking over her shoulder. A face belonging to Raven Reyes. A face that was eagerly looking at the sandwich Lexa had brought in for her lunch. She wasn't, she wasn't hungry so offered her plate to Raven wordlessly.

“Sweet!” Raven grinned, sitting next to her and taking a massive bite of the sandwich, “Vis s goo an so hapee uo-”

“What?” Lexa frowned, watching as Raven rolled her eyes and chewed exaggeratedly before swallowing.

“I said, this is _so_ good,” Raven repeated, “I'm so glad you didn't bring that crap you usually eat.”

Lexa's eyebrows furrowed, “You mean salad?”

“Exactly! It's practically inedible, now _this_ ,” Raven gestured to the item in question, “I can work with.”

Lexa smiled fondly.

“I didn't see you this morning,” Raven mused.

_I kissed your cousin and saw her naked and then I couldn't face her._

“Woke up late.”

“Oh how the mighty have fallen,” Raven grinned, “Maybe we've swapped places? Now I'm the responsible one and you're the one sexing it up in the back of Anya's car in front of a seven eleven on a Monday night."

“Ew,” Lexa wrinkled her nose, “Wait, Anya doesn't have a...” Her eyes fell closed, “You and Anya had sex in _my_ car?”

Raven just shrugged, an easy smile on her face as she used her tongue to swipe at the sauce left on her lip.

“So gross,” Lexa whined, “Does this mean you're going to ditch Vile Kyle?”

Raven shrugged again, “Sex is sex, we'll see.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

She'd decided that a walk would be good, the sun was shining and Lexa wanted to take advantage of that. So she'd picked Madison up from daycare, grabbed them a few snacks from the local store and set off on a dog walking track that led up some fields and eventually to the park where Madison's ducks lived.

Lexa didn't think it through. Toddlers were slow. She sighed, watching Madison pick up yet another leaf and stare at it in wonder. At least the kid liked nature, she supposed. Even though Madison didn't like to get dirty, or exercise in general, the toddler still managed to have a good time in the great outdoors. Lexa stuck her hands in her pockets and sighed, she guessed she was going to be here for a while.

“Pretty,” Madison smiled, bringing Lexa the leaf to look at.

Lexa bent down to inspect said leaf, tapping her chin thoughtfully with her finger, “You know, I'm not sure that this one is _quite_ as pretty as the last one.”

Madison's big, blue eyes stared up at her in confusion. Madison was looking at Lexa like she was dumb and Lexa had to bite back a smile, “Lessa, they're _all_ pretty. Just different.”

Lexa's eyes widened, she was _not_ expecting that, “You're right, little one.”

Madison nodded proudly, gently setting the leaf back on the floor and taking Lexa's hand. They wandered on slowly, occasionally stopping when they spotted something interesting, until they reached a clearing with a wooden bench a loads of wild flowers. Madison gasped, grabbing Lexa's attention, she squatted down.

“I was here before,” Madison whispered.

Lexa frowned in confusion before realization struck her, “With mommy?”

The little girl nodded, reaching up for Lexa and Lexa picked her up, cradling her close and walking towards the bench. She noticed Madison's wide eyes, her little mouth drawn into a thin line.

“You know you can talk about mommy with me whenever you want to?” Lexa whispered, “I know you miss her.”

Madison looked sad, her blue eyes hitting the floor as she nodded slowly, seemingly unsure.

“Do you want to sit for a bit or keep going?”

Madison pointed towards the track. It was clear that this place, the place that her mommy had taken her was too sad to stay in so Lexa nodded, carrying the little girl further up the track before setting her down. Madison still seemed withdrawn but her demeanor calmed somewhat once they were away from the spot. They carried on walking until Lexa was pulled to a stop.

“Lessa! Slow. My legs are smaller,” Madison said with a pout, pointing at Lexa's legs like they were offending her.

Lexa laughed, ruffling the girls curls, “You got it, little one.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

When she got home Anya was sitting at the breakfast bar next to Raven while Clarke seemed to be cooking. Lexa frowned at Anya, making her way over to lean on the other side of the breakfast bar.

“You're here?” Lexa asked, “Is this why you couldn't meet me?”

“Yeah,” Anya nodded, “Where's the kid?”

“She's just getting parked,” Lexa rolled her eyes, “Where do you think she is? I just dropped her off.”

Anya scoffed and turned to Raven, “I swear that thing is so freaking cute, all big, blue eyes. She likes me better than Lexa for sure. I think I want one some day.”

“And on that day, I hope you stop calling them 'those things',” Lexa laughed.

Raven joined in for a second before she took a glance at Clarke and clapped her hands together, “Okay, no more baby talk at the table. Clarkey, good day?”

Clarke shrugged, glancing at them over her shoulder, “Kyle Wick took a photo of my ass so I smashed his phone.”

“Atta girl, he's such a fucking pervert,” Raven wrinkled her nose. Lexa's stomach dropped.

“I know,” Clarke grumbled, “Fucking moron, you know he came into the girls locker room when O and I were changing for gym?”

“What the fuck? When? And why just you and O?”

“Oh right, I didn't tell you because we were late,” Clarke hummed, “But he just walked in, O was dressed but I didn't have a shirt on and the sick fucker got a boner.”

“He needs to be punched in the boner,” Raven gagged.

She couldn't do this anymore. She felt nauseous. She bit her lip, her eyes fixed on the floor, “Raven, I don't think I should live here anymore.”

“What?” She could hear the surprise in Raven's voice while the other two became silent, “Why?”

She took a deep breath. She had to do it. She had to come clean and whatever came from it, she deserved, “Because I kissed Clarke.”

There was silence. In her mind she could see them all staring at her, looking horrified. Thinking she was a pervert and a sick fucker and everything that they thought Kyle Wick was because she was _worse_ than him. She _kissed_ Clarke. She waited with baited breath for the yelling to start but instead a loud crack of laughter sliced through the silence.

She glanced up. Anya looked bored, Clarke looked confused and Raven was doubled over in laughter, smacking her hand on the table. Why the hell was Raven laughing?

“Don't worry, squid,” Anya rolled her eyes, “I've kissed Clarke in my imagination too.”

Is that why Raven was laughing? Did Raven not believe her either?

“No, it's true,” Lexa pleaded, “I really did kiss her.”

“Sure you did,” Anya sent her an exaggerated wink.

“I did...I, Raven, I'm sorry. I'll leave but I did and-”

“Lexa,” Clarke cut her off, “Raven already knew.”

“What?” Lexa frowned. If Raven already knew, did Clarke tell her?

“Wait, what?” Anya's eyes widened and her full attention was on Clarke, “It _wasn't_ in her imagination?”

Clarke shook her head, eyes narrowed.

“Lexa, you kissed her?!” Anya practically shouted, “You _actually_ kissed her?”

Lexa was already close to tears but the confusion pushed her over the edge and she fled upstairs. Shutting her door and sinking to the floor in front on her bed. Leaning her back against it and pulling her legs up to her chest. Burying her face in her knees and letting the tears fall.

Her year wasn't supposed to be like this. She'd fucked everything up by kissing Clarke. Who was she trying to kid? She'd fucked everything up the moment she'd flirted with Clarke on her first day. She was so fucked. She was worse than a man she considered vile. She flirted with Clarke, she stared at Clarke, same as he did but she'd crossed that extra line and kissed the girl.

She wished she was back in Ton DC. Not in the apartment she used to live in but in her old bedroom at Indra and Gus' house. That was the place she felt most safe. She missed Indra. Indra would straighten her out with a tough love talk and a mug of 'special cocoa', it was made with a secret ingredient. When they were kids the secret ingredient was the mini marshmallows that Indra would melt and stir in and then later mini marshmallows turned into a shot of whatever rum Indra had laying around. Indra wouldn't just straighten her out, Indra wouldn't of let her get into this mess in the first place.

She was pulled by her thoughts by a familiar rapping on her door. She knew it was Clarke even before she entered. She furiously wiped away her tears when the blonde came into view. Clarke looked worried, lips downturned and eyebrows pinched together. Lexa watched through her knees as Clarke knelt down in front of her, setting her hands on her knees.

“Lexa?”

“I'm so, so sorry, Clarke,” Lexa's voice came out raspy, “I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to take advantage of you either but I-”

“Lexa,” Clarke said more firmly, drawing green to blue, “What is this about?”

“I...Kyle...and I'm,” Lexa sighed, “I'm worse.”

“You think you're like Kyle Wick?” Clarke's nose wrinkled and Lexa thought it looked pretty.

No. She cursed herself, forcing her eyes to the floor.

“Is this because we kissed?”

Lexa nodded, “He wants to kiss you too.”

Clarke snorted a little laugh, “Lexa, Kyle Wick is a pig. He objectifies women, he takes advantage-”

“Clarke,” Lexa cut the blonde off, eyes blinking, “ _I_ objectified you, _I_ took advantage of you. The things you were saying to Raven? _I_ look at your ass. _All_ the time. _I_ have a photo of your boobs. _I_ saw you naked.”

Clarke pursed her lips, shuffling to make herself more comfortable and levelling Lexa with a serious look, “You looked at me because I teased you, I didn't tease him. You didn't take advantage of _anyone_. You look at my ass because I show you my ass. _All_ the time. You have a photo of my boobs because I sent you a photo of my boobs. You saw me _naked_ because I chose to show you, Lexa. Do you see what I'm saying?”

Lexa's mouth opened and closed a couple of times, “I...but I _kissed_ you.”

Clarke shook her head, “You kissed me _back_.”

Lexa blinked.

“You haven't done anything wrong, Lexa,” Clarke said softly, thumb coming up to wipe at Lexa's tear stained cheek, “This isn't you taking advantage of some innocent girl. You and I are on the same page. You and I have been pursuing _each other_. You are _nothing_ like Kyle Wick.”

It sounded too good to be true. Lexa shook her head but her face was caught by the hand cupping her cheek. Clarke's face got nearer.

“Let me prove it to you,” Clarke whispered, her breathing hitting Lexa's lips before their mouths met.

The kiss was slow, deep and felt so _real_. Lexa couldn't help the few more tears from falling. Her hands met Clarke's sides, clutching at the material of Clarke's sweater as the blonde's hips fell between her bent knees. She whined in the back of her throat, gliding her tongue over Clarke's lip and tasting salt. She heard Clarke moan and the noise sent a warmth through her, making her pout.

“Lexa stop,” The words were spoken into her mouth and they felt like a bucket of cold water being poured over.

She jumped back in shock, pulling her hands back like she'd been burnt. Her wide eyes landing on Clarke's smirking face. The blonde quirked an eyebrow.

“See?” Clarke said, a teasing lilt to her soft tone, “Do you believe me now?”

Lexa's mouth fell open, “I believe that you just gave me a heat attack.”

Maybe Clarke was right.

Clarke giggled, pressing their foreheads together and shuffling a little bit closer, “Shut up and kiss me.”

“Wait,” Lexa pulled just out of reach when Clarke tried to catch her lips, “I...If I _ever_ do anything you don't want...”

“You won't, Lexa,” Clarke rolled her eyes, “You just need to trust that I _can_ stand up for myself.”

“I do know that,” Lexa nodded because she _did_ know that. She'd seen Clarke hold her own, “Why was Raven laughing?”

“Because she already knew,” Clarke chuckled.

“How?”

“I told her,” Clarke shrugged, “And she was laughing because...she was with Anya when you called her, Lex. She heard your little freak out and Anya's...whole not believing you thing.”

Lexa's eyes widened, embarrassment flooding her and warming her cheeks, “She was?”

“She was,” Clarke shrugged, “Now would you rather talk about Anya and Raven _or_ would you rather kiss me some more before we eat? I made pop tarts before you ran off.”

“You made pop tarts?” Lexa frowned, seeing Clarke nod, she narrowed her eyes, “For dinner?”

“Yes, for dinner,” Clarke rolled her eyes with a groan, “Do you want to kiss me or not?”

Lexa nodded enthusiastically, “I do, I really do.”

“Good,” Clarke smiled, “You should also probably know that get what I want.”

“Oh?” Lexa frowned, going cross eyed as Clarke's face got impossibly close.

“And I want to fuck you so...”

Lexa didn't know what this was. Whether Clarke just wanted sex or if the blonde wanted more. Whether it was right or wrong. Whether Raven would hate her for it. Whether she'd hate herself for it. She did, however, know that having this girl in her arms felt like the best thing in the world. And maybe the rest was worth it. Maybe she'd chosen to let herself love Clarke a long time ago.


	11. Are We Going To Have Sex?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that gave me feedback,  
> I especially appreciate those of you that have taken the time to review.
> 
> A <3 for my pal, Z&F. - You just go above and beyond every time and I love it, thank you. I've actually started to read through the work that you've bookmarked and let me thank you now for that, great collection. Holiday Inn was spectacular, really enjoyed that one...I'm currently on The Pet Detectives and I can't put it down, sooooo funny!
> 
> Anyway, I know some people have a bit of an issue with the whole student/teacher thing and, fair warning, if that's the case then this chapter isn't one for you.
> 
> I hope everyone is staying safe!  
> If anyone's bored and wants to chat then let me know and I'll give you my kik.  
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter...

**11\. Are We Going To Have Sex?**

Although a massive weight had definitely been lifted from her shoulders, she couldn't help but still feel out of place when Clarke, after stealing several more kisses, dragged her back downstairs to eat with Anya and Raven. However, she was _slightly_ relieved to note that Raven was dishing up spaghetti and Clarke's plate of pop tarts lay, untouched, on the counter. At least she didn't have to add malnutrition to her worries.

Anya and Raven barely even acknowledged their reappearance, let alone their joint hands. Raven was too busy slapping Anya's hands away from the garlic bread. Anya, dutifully scolded, grabbed her phone from the breakfast bar.

“C'mere, Clarkey,” She said, “I need to get a photo of you.”

Anya held her phone up, waving the object in the general direction of Clarke while the blonde cocked her head to the side. Eyebrow raised in question.

“I need to show dad the girl squid's been swapping spit with,” Anya shrugged.

Clarke giggled and Lexa's eyes dropped to the floor. It was only Clarke's hand brushing against the back of her own that brought her attention back to the conversation.

“What's your family like?” Raven asked, glancing between the sisters.

“Gus comes across pretty scary but he's a big ol' teddy bear,” Anya smiled fondly, “Indra is...how would you describe mom, Lexa?”

“Um,” Lexa looked up from the plate she was tucking into, leaning next to Clarke where the blonde was sitting on one of the kitchen counters, “She's...Indra is a badass.”

Everyone laughed.

“She takes no shit and she's pretty tough but she's got a massive heart,” Lexa smiled, sharing a look with Anya.

“And the bro is a little rug rat,” Anya rolled her eyes, “I swear he thinks he's Casanova or some shit. Still, he gets more girls than Lexa.”

“Hey!” Lexa protested.

Raven laughed, “I thought you were impressed with Lexa's game now that she's scored a kiss with Clarkey?”

Anya nodded thoughtfully before tilting her head towards Clarke, “True but the real question is...can she get into your pants?”

Clarke laughed, knee knocking painfully into Lexa's spine as she launched a half eaten piece of garlic bread at Anya, it hitting her on the side of the head before landing somewhere on the floor.

“Wait!” Anya said, eyes lighting up as she produced her phone, bursting out in laughter before spinning the phone so everyone could see.

There was the photo she'd snapped of Clarke, the caption reading: ' **Look who Lexa's been kissing** '. And a reply under it.

**Dad: In her dreams?**

Everyone laughed except Lexa. Lexa was too busy blushing to find _any_ amusement in the situation.

\- - - - - - - - - -

It was Raven that caught her before she crept upstairs to bed and lowered the rest of her resolve. Whatever little voices that were left in her head telling her that it was wrong, that she was like Kyle, that Clarke was too young. Raven banished them. Saying things like 'Clarke's graduating this year', 'you aren't even a real teacher', 'you're good for her' and 'she can make her own decisions, she isn't a kid'. All of the reasons she had that told her this was a bad idea vanished and she couldn't ignore how she felt about Clarke after that.

She made a decision. A final decision. She was going to let herself feel for Clarke, allow herself to have whatever parts of Clarke that Clarke chose to give her and she wasn't going to worry about the consequences anymore. She was just going to focus completely on the people that mattered. And those people definitely included Clarke.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She was glad to get to work, finding the stability of her routine grounding. Routine had always been that for her. The little habits and tasks she'd picked up to find solace. Using the normality of routine to stay on track, she had since she was a child. Anya used to call it OCD, Indra use to call it a coping mechanism and Gus, Gus just called her his 'little organizer' too make her giggle.

And her day wasn't any different to any of the other days before it. She still got into work slightly earlier than she would've liked. She still had her second and third cups of coffee in the teacher's lounge, waiting for it to be a decent time to head to her class. She still cursed herself for having that third cup because she wanted to cut down on her caffeine intake but never truly found the motivation to do so. She still greeted Raven when the Latina managed to drag herself in and Raven would still give her the usual grunt in greeting as she filled her travel mug to the brim.

The only new thing was when she was finally in her class and Clarke – turning up late, as always – sitting in the front row made her smile rather than worry or _drool_.

She cleared her throat awkwardly when she noticed Lincoln and Octavia muttering to each other. Their hands linked under the table. Thankfully they broke apart before she had to say anything. That thought making her cringe internally at just how _awkward_ that would be. _'I know we've partied together, Octavia and I know I've literally heard you having sex, Lincoln but could you guys stop being so lovey-dovey in my class?..kay, thanks'_. Just _no_.

She was pulled from her thoughts when her phone vibrated.

**Clarke: I can't stop thinking about you.**

Lexa couldn't help but to smile, glancing at Clarke but _of course_ the blonde's eyes were focused on her book. Lexa hadn't been able to stop thinking about Clarke either. But, then again, Clarke probably already knew that.

**Lexa: You should be thinking about your work ;)**

Lexa bit her lip. Watching Clarke as she waited for a reply. Watching as Clarke subtly looked down at her lap and smiled.

**Clarke: Blame my teacher, she's distracting.**

Lexa had to hold back a laugh, shooting Clarke a smile and getting a teasing one in return.

**Lexa: Oh? Anything I can do to help?**

**Clarke: You could tell me what color your panties are...**

Lexa almost choked on her spit. She caught Clarke's eyes across the room but the blonde only stuck her tongue out, making Lexa smile.

**Lexa: And that's going to make you focus?**

**Clarke: We should definitely find out.**

Lexa rolled her eyes, smile firmly planted.

**Lexa: Behave!**

Lexa sent Clarke a smirk, heart fluttering at the grin on the blonde's face.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

“Bitch, I've been looking _everywhere_ for you!” Raven flew into the room, voice so loud it made Lexa jump and almost drop her lunch.

She frowned at her friend in confusion, glancing around the teacher's lounge, “We've been meeting here for lunch everyday.”

“Details,” Raven said with a dismissive wave of her hand, sitting next to Lexa on the couch and bumping their shoulders.

“What did you want me for?”

It was Raven's turn to frown in confusion, “What?”

“You said you were looking _everywhere_ for me?”

“Oh, no reason,” Raven grinned, “Just missed your face.”

Lexa smiled fondly, grabbing the other half of her sandwich and offering it to the Latina.

“Thanks, buddy!” Raven said, shoving half of the sandwich into her mouth and making Lexa's eyes widen, “Wee ha'in are-tee ons at day.”

“What?” Lexa scrunched her nose in confusion.

Raven rolled her eyes dramatically, gulping thickly, “I said, we're having a party on Saturday.”

“We are?”

“Yeah, I already invited Anya,” Raven wiggled her eyebrow suggestively, “And no other teachers, Clarke wants to invite her pals.”

“I think we might be the worst teachers ever at this point,” Lexa mused with a sigh.

“Speak for yourself,” Raven protested, shooting Lexa a dirty look, “Besides, partying with them doesn't make us bad teachers. It just make us cool teachers because we don't give a fuck if they drink and shit.”

“I'm not sure that I agree with your logic, Rae,” Lexa pursed her lips, watching Raven shrug.

“It'll be fun – hey! You could bring your mom! Your mom's going to be in town right?”

“You want me to bring my mom?” Lexa's eyes widened, “You want me to bring my mom to a _Raven Reyes_ party?”

Raven shrugged, “Sure, why not? So far _all_ of the Woods-ses-ses have _loved_ me. I don't see why your mom would be any different.”

“You think Indra's going to _love_ you?” Lexa snorted indignantly.

“Duh,” Raven looked at her like she was an idiot, “Indra and I are _clearly_ going to be best friends.”

Lexa's mouth fell open before she held her hands up in defense, “ _Clearly_. Invite her if you want, the _last_ thing I want to do is get in the way of your budding friendship with _my mother_. But give me a heads up if you do.”

“Why?”

“Because I am _not_ attending a Raven Reyes party with you, Anya, Clarke and _my mom_.”

“Oh,” Raven nodded, sending her a look of understanding, “Because you're not as cool as us so you think we won't let you hang out with us.”

“No! Because – wait, what?! _Let me_ hang out with you?” Lexa spluttered.

“ _Relax_ , we'll hang out with you anyway-”

“Raven!”

“Ladies,” Costia's voice floated through the air, starting the pair.

“Hey, Costia,” Lexa sent her a small smile.

“I was actually looking for you, Lexa.”

Lexa frowned, “Why is everyone looking for me all of a sudden?”

“I know right,” Raven butted in, clicking her tongue, “Usually _no one_ looks for you.”

Lexa elbowed her, scowling at Raven's cheeky grin.

“Anyway,” Costia brushed the banter off, “Are you free this weekend?”

“Oh, uh, not really,” Lexa looked at her quizzically, “My mom's visiting so...”

“Totally,” Costia smiled, “What about after that? Monday or-”

“I think I'm free on Monday,” Lexa nodded, ignoring the nudge Raven was giving her.

“Do you want to get dinner?”

Lexa shrugged, she often ate out on a week day. She saw no problem in doing so in Costia's company, “Sure.”

“Great,” Costia gave her a wide smile, “We can work out the details later.”

“Alright,” Lexa nodded, seeing Costia's grin as she fled from the room.

Leaving Raven giving Lexa a rather pointed look.

“What?”

“Bro!”

“What?”

“You just agreed to go on a date with Costia!”

“I – what? No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Lexa! What the fuck?!” Raven shoved her in the shoulder.

“I – really? Did she really mean a date?” Lexa asked.

“Oh, Lex,” Raven's expression softened into sympathy, gently patting Lexa's cheek, “You poor, naïve lesbian.”

\- - - - - - - - - - -

“Clarke? Are you decent?” Lexa asked, rapping her knuckles on Clarke's bedroom door.

She wasn't sure what she wanted. All she was aware of was that she wanted to be in the blonde's company. She _always_ felt better in Clarke's presence. The blonde felt like _home_ to her, had for a while now. So she'd gone straight to Clarke's room as soon as she got home.

“Never. But I'm clothed,” Came Clarke's muffled response, making Lexa smile fondly.

She was met with Clarke's lips the moment she entered the room. The blonde's hands fisting the front of her sweater, tongue taking filthy swipes into her mouth. She could _feel_ Clarke's grin against her lips as she was pushed against the door. She drew in a breath, trying to blink through her dazed mind. Her hands settling on Clarke's hips as the blonde tugged at her, pushing their bodies impossibly closer.

Her senses were on overload. Clarke's body, a warm and solid press against her own. Clarke's skin feeling hot under her fingertips. A give and take of Clarke's soft lips as the blonde's mouth practically assaulted hers with filthy, open mouthed kisses. Clarke's wicked tongue thrusting hotly into her mouth. She couldn't help but to moan into the blonde. Desperately trying to keep up with the punishing pace of Clarke's kiss.

Her arms wrapped around the blonde's waist, moaning at the slimness of it. Especially in comparison to Clarke's generous curves. A true hourglass figure. And Lexa couldn't get enough. Her arms tightened, drawing Clarke in closer. Breathing her in. Her tongue moving fluidly against Clarke's in rough strokes. Teeth clashing. Lips bruising.

After a particularly harsh nip the blonde lay on her bottom lip, she pulled back. Her lips finding Clarke's jaw and trailing downwards, leaving soft kisses in her wake. Her breath coming out hotly against Clarke's neck, creating goose bumps. She felt Clarke's head tip back, blonde hair tickling the back of the hand she had resting on the small of Clarke's back, as the blonde let out a whimper.

Clarke's hands found their way between their bodies, fingers dipping under Lexa's shirt and nails scraping against the overly sensitive skin of her stomach. Making her hiss against Clarke's throat. Her forehead dropped against Clarke's shoulder as she leant into the touch.

“You're so fucking _sexy_ , Lexa,” Clarke panted, voice thick with arousal.

Lexa blinked heavily, the fog in her mind clearing slightly as anxiety set in. She leant back, eyes fixing on Clarke's, “Are we going to have sex?”

It came out in a whisper, her voice raw from arousal and she instantly blushed at just how _dorky_ she sounded. Anya would make fun of her _so hard_ for that. She groaned, mentally slapping herself for _Anya_ crossing her mind at a time like _this_.

The giggle Clarke let out made her jump but a smile came to her lips when Clarke's pretty face came into view, a big grin on her mouth and blue eyes sparkling. Clarke's fingers coming up to pinch her cheek. A teasing gesture but, she felt, with an undercurrent of lovingness.

Her heart sank when the hand Clarke still had placed on her abdomen pushed their bodies apart. For a moment she thought she'd fucked everything up. That she'd ruined the mood. But then she saw Clarke's naughty smile, the one that seemed to be reserved for her only and the blonde's shirt was on the floor a second later. Clarke's eyes raking her up and down once, unashamedly before the blonde was cocking her head to the side in a teasing manor.

“What do you think?”

Lexa's mouth opened and closed a few times, like she couldn't get her words out. Her mind focused solely on the freshly exposed, pale skin that Clarke had to offer. Taking each inch in greedily, the effects of the sight settling low in her stomach like a hot pool of lava. She wasn't sure how long she was staring for but Clarke's voice made her eyes snap up.

“Unless you don't want to?” Clarke said, tone teasing.

Lexa swallowed thickly, “I want to.”

She didn't need to say it, Clarke knew it. _Of course_ Clarke knew that Lexa wanted her. It wasn't exactly a well kept secret. Nevertheless, she was glad she voiced it. They were in this together.

Clarke's hand fell to the back of her head as the blonde crashed their lips back together. Kissing clumsily until Lexa switched angles, sending Clarke probably the softest look she could possibly manage as she did so. Their noses bumping in a caress before their lips caught again, hungrily.

She was so focused on palming the hot skin of Clarke's hips that she barely noticed the blonde tugging her shirt up until the item was _rudely_ separating their lips for a few seconds before it ended up dis-guarded on the floor the same way Clarke's had. And then their skin was flush together, making them both sigh in appreciation at the contact.

Clarke hummed into her mouth, fisting the hair at the back of her head. Twisting them so that she could push Lexa back onto the bed, chasing her lips. Straddling her, making Lexa whimper. Lexa's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling the blonde closer.

Their kisses becoming harsh and frantic as their hips took up a grinding rhythm, bumping desperately to find some friction. And Clarke's hands were shoving at her pants, trying to push them off but their path was cut off by the blonde's thighs.

Clarke's bra was the next item to get removed, getting thrown across the room to who knows where as the blonde sat up. And Lexa moaned at the sight. Her fingers, finding the button of Clarke's jeans as she sat up quickly to catch a pretty, pink nipple in her mouth. Sucking harshly and drawing a lewd whine from the back of the blonde's throat.

“Fuck,” Lexa hissed against the flesh, “You're boobs are just _so_... _fuck_.”

Clarke's head tilted down to catch her lips, a naughty look on her face when she pulled away. An eyebrow raised teasingly.

“I aim to please.”

The sound of Clarke's gravely, aroused voice sent a wave of pleasure straight to Lexa's core. She watched the blonde stand up, missing the weight instantly. The revealed skin on the top of her thighs feeling a contrast of the cool air after the warmth of Clarke's body. She raised her upper body up onto her elbows. Eyes never leaving Clarke as the blonde's hands landed on her knees, fisting the material of Lexa's pants and tugging them down her legs.

Lexa almost protested when the material dug painfully into the back of her knees on it's way off but her attention pulled instantly back to Clarke when the blond started working on her own pants. She watched as the pants got shoved down, giving Lexa a beautiful view of Clarke's toned thighs. The blonde moving her hips sexily.

Sexily until Clarke's foot got caught in said pants in her hurry to take them off and the blonde landed on the floor with a thump. Lexa peered over the edge of the bed to see Clarke flat on her back, feet tangled in the pants. She couldn't help but laugh at the unamused, blushing face of Clarke looking up at her from the floor as the blonde blew out an angry breath, disrupting the hair that'd fallen over her face in the fall.

“Don't laugh!” Clarke huffed.

Lexa tried but she couldn't contain the laugh, “You're _so_ sexy.”

The indignant noise the blonde made as she got up making Lexa laugh harder. But then the blonde was straddling her again, only this time there was _no_ barriers between them.

“I _am_ sexy,” Clarke groaned, brushing her hair back from her face.

Clarke leant down, their breath mingling before she caught Lexa's lips in a kiss. Lexa meeting it eagerly. Distracting her to the point that she didn't notice Clarke's hand sliding between them until it was cupping her sex. Lexa gasped into Clarke's mouth at the feeling. Her eyes widening. A breath of air fanning over her lips as the blonde let out a laugh at her reaction.

She was already slick, already _so_ ready to give Clarke anything she wanted. She watched Clarke's face intently as the blonde's fingers found her clit, stroking her gently. Lexa had to bite her lip. Clarke's movements were skilled, precise and felt _so_ good.

Her hands found Clarke's ass, palming the generous flesh and swiping her fingers further back. Reaching until she met Clarke's wetness in return. The contact her fingers making being met with a gasp from the blonde.

For a second Lexa was worried. Worried that Clarke wasn't enjoying her ministrations. The blonde hardly making a sound but, a moment later, Clarke was letting out the sexiest whimpers she'd ever heard and she knew she was probably doing okay. From there it was a messy rush. Stroking, teasing, _building_ each other. Testing touches. Needy whimpers and clumsy lip clashing. Their hips bucking into each other. Each of them desperate for release.

Their lips stopped moving, instead pressed awkwardly as they reached too high for anything else. Anything but breathing against each other. Their bodies rocking harder, losing rhythm and falling into sloppy thrusts against each other's hands. They fell apart together. Clarke's teeth catching Lexa's jaw after a hissed _'fuck'_ and Lexa's fingernails digging into Clarke's ass, her other hand cupping a heavy breast. Both panting heavily and moving together to try and draw out their orgasms for as long as possible.

Clarke collapsed on top of her. Face pressed against her neck. Body still shivering from the after shocks. And Lexa held her, one arm slung around Clarke's waist while the other raked through blonde hair. Both of them trying to catch their breath.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Clarke laughed, catching Lexa's attention. Clarke's head tilting until their eyes met.

“What?”

“That was quick,” Clarke giggled, the sound contagious to Lexa.

Lexa nodded in agreement, pressing a firm kiss to Clarke's lips, “But...pretty good, right?”

“Yeah,” Clarke nodded in agreement, hand coming up to trace her fingers down Lexa's cheekbone, “I thought we'd last long enough to do more than... _that_ though.”

A lazy smile made it's way to Lexa face, her forehead connecting with Clarke's, “We have time.”

Clarke cocked her head to the side prettily, the corners of her lips quirking, “That we do.”

Lexa hummed, smoothing her hands over the skin of Clarke's back. Taking a moment to appreciate it before nudging Clarke's cheek with her nose, “May I taste you?”

Lexa waited for Clarke's nod of approval before flipping them, making Clarke giggle. She sent Clarke a smile before descending. Pressing appreciative kisses to Clarke's soft skin as she went. Settling between the blonde's legs and sliding her arms under her thighs, palms meeting Clarke's sides. She paused at the display in front of her, taking a moment to really appreciate the sight of Clarke's most intimate place. At the wiggle of Clarke's hips, she glanced up. Their eyes connecting.

“Am I...is this okay?” Clarke asked, taking a glance at her body.

For a moment Lexa was shocked. Clarke was beautiful and sexy and _perfect_. And so damn confident. Yet here she was, looking almost embarrassed and asking Lexa if her body was okay _Yes, more than 'okay'._

“You're beautiful, Clarke,” Lexa said softly, her eyes catching blue, “You're _perfect_.”

She almost sighed in relief at the return of Clarke's naughty smile.

“Good,” Clarke said with a firm nod, “Then get to it.”

Lexa's mouth fell open at the blonde's flirty wink that accompanied her words but then her face was being firmly pushed into damp flesh by the fingers weaved into her hair. Lexa _might have_ protested, except, her mouth got rather busy. Clarke's heady scent surrounding her, turning her on more than she thought possible. And as soon as she opened her mouth she groaned in appreciation. She _loved_ how Clarke tasted, the sweet tang quickly becoming her favorite thing.

She dove straight in, opening her mouth wide to lick Clarke with a flat tongue. The wide strokes ensuring that she tasted as much of Clarke's essence as possible on each stroke. Clarke's hips rocking up, into her face, only driving her tongue deeper into the blonde's soft flesh. Her fingernails scraping deliciously at Clarke's sides.

Her clever tongue found Clarke's clit on the next stroke, playing with it and making a shiver run through the blonde. Lexa's shoulders nudged at Clarke's thighs, encouraging them open further so that she was more spread. Lexa humming her approval against Clarke. Her nose hitting against neatly trimmed hair as her tongue tongue another swipe at the blonde's clit before moving back down, dipping inside.

Lexa felt her own saliva combining with Clarke's juices and _God_ she really was drooling at the taste of the blonde. But she couldn't help it. Clarke let out a whimper, wiggling and lifting her hips in a desperate attempt to get Lexa's tongue back on her clit. Lexa smiled, taking a glance up at Clarke.

Clarke's fingers were digging into the sheets beneath her. Her head thrown back, her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth open. Sharply pulling in air every time she had a pause between her whimpers. Lexa felt the heat pool between her legs. Clarke looked like a _goddess_.

When Lexa's tongue found it's focus on Clarke's clit, the blonde's whole body tensed. Her muscles clenching. A cry leaving her throat and her hips lifting, pressing hard against Lexa's face until Clarke _broke_. And Lexa was _hooked_. Seeing Clarke like that, in the throws of ecstasy while Lexa sucked on her clit. A strangled _'fuck'_ leaving the blonde's throat. Lexa thought she could die happy after witnessing _that_.

She kept up with gentle licks. Helping Clarke ride out the after shocks but, also, not quite wanting to give up tasting the blonde yet. Her hands stroking Clarke's heaving sides. She could feel one of Clarke's hands sliding into her hair. Tugging gently and took it as her cue. Placing one more kiss to Clarke before crawling up her body until their faces met and flopping next to the blonde. Not missing the way Clarke's darkened eyes fixed on her licking her lips.

“Hi,” Lexa smiled.

Clarke let out an amused huff, bringing her comforter up to wipe at the wetness left on Lexa's chin. Lexa couldn't look away, the image of 'spent Clarke' absolutely beautiful to her. _Intimate_. She stroked her fingers over Clarke's stomach, watching the blonde as she recovered from, what Lexa hoped was, an intense climax. It took a few minutes before Clarke was moving, shifting up onto her knees and looking at Lexa with predatory eyes.

“My turn,” The blonde growled.

And Clarke straddled her shoulders, mouth descending on Lexa's sex. Lexa didn't know which she preferred. The immediate feeling of Clarke's skilled tongue licking into her, wetly. Or the perfect view of Clarke's round ass and glistening slit from this angle. Her hands met the back of Clarke's thighs.

Clarke got to work quickly, not giving Lexa a moment to adjust before she was sucking harshly on Lexa's clit. Her fingers dancing around Lexa's entrance until Lexa spread her legs further in acceptance. And Clarke's fingers were pushing into her, making her gasp and moan. She could feel herself clutching at the intrusion.

She was so close, so quickly. Already wound up from having her face between the blonde's legs. She struggled to keep her eyes open but she desperately wanted to. She wanted to _see_ this view when she came. In that moment she couldn't think of anything better.

“Fuck!” She whimpered as Clarke's change of angle caught her off guard, sending her into an Earth shattering climax. Her hands gripped the blonde's thighs harder, forcing herself not to shut her eyes, “Clarke!”

She felt like jelly, all her muscles felt weak and _spent_. She barley noticed Clarke climbing back up next to her until the blonde's lips met her. The taste of their arousal mixing. Lexa hummed at the taste, gripping Clarke like a life line. When Clarke pulled away, propping her head up on her hand next to Lexa's face to look down at her, Lexa wanted to wipe the lazy smirk off the blonde's face. She was just _so_ smug.

Lexa couldn't help but admire her. Clarke was always beautiful but seeing her like this was different. A moment just for them. The next kiss Lexa pressed to Clarke's lips softened the blonde's smugness.

And like this - voice raw from pleasure, skin soft and a tired smile on her face - Clarke was _so_ fucking beautiful. Lexa wriggled until her head was rested on the crook of Clarke's elbow. And Clarke's eyes were focused on her. Lexa's fingers came up absent-mindedly to tuck a strand of blonde hair behind Clarke's ear.

Lexa's eyes searched Clarke's face, drinking in every little detail. She shouldn't ask, she _knew_ she shouldn't. Not now. But her mind wouldn't shut up.

“What happens tomorrow?” She whispered, feeling more vulnerable than she had even when she'd been naked and writhing under the blonde. Her hand sliding over the blonde's naked hip, under the comforter and squeezing.

She watched as a little crease came between Clarke's eyebrows as the blonde smiled down at her softly. Clarke's eyes searching her own face for moment before the blonde lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. Her fingers dancing all the way down Lexa's arm, raising goose bumps before tangling their fingers together.

“Get some sleep, Lex,” Clarke said, the warmth in her voice washing over Lexa like a blanket, “You can't stare at me _all_ night.”

Lexa pursed her lips, a laugh bubbling to the surface. Her gaze never leaving Clarke's face.

Yes she could. She _so_ could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, let me know what you think <3


	12. Bad Teacher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for anyone that gave feedback, I really appreciate it!
> 
> A <3 for my bestie - Zee, I've literally just been binging your bookmarks all week, it's like Christmas every day. I tried to find you on twitter but it didn't work? I'm assuming that I'm doing something wrong...but I'd love to chat!
> 
> WARNING  
> This chapter contains sexual intercourse between a student and teacher - if that ain't your bag then this isn't for you.
> 
> Hope you gays- I mean guys enjoy this one...it's just short chapter, not much happens but the next one will come quicker.

**12\. Bad Teacher**

She woke up with a smile firmly planted on her face, she wondered if that particular smile would _ever_ fade. Last night had been more than Lexa could've ever hoped for. Not only was Clarke Griffin absolutely _amazing_ in bed, but Lexa felt so connected to her. It felt like more than just sex. It felt intimate, it felt emotional. It felt like the start of something incredible.

She wondered if Clarke felt the same. Or if she was just another hook up to the blonde, a conquest, a notch on her belt. Or if it was more, something they could grow. Something they could savor. She wasn't sure. Whatever this was, she was going to enjoy it while it lasted. She just hoped that it did _last_.

She really should quit her job.

Still, she eventually blinked her eyes open. The brightness stung her eyes, reminding her that she hadn't gotten enough sleep last night. The ache in her muscles emphasizing that point too, when she stretched. Her lazy smile broadening significantly as her eyes met Clarke's bare back.

She took a long moment to observe the blonde. Clarke was sitting up in bed, the comforter around her waist. The smooth expanse of skin on her back looking soft. Her hair mused and falling in natural waves around her shoulders.

Clarke must have sensed she was awake then because the blonde was turning to her, a toothy grin on her face. Crumbs on the corner of her mouth. She looked angelic. A delicate mixture of innocent and naughty. A sparkle in her blue eyes. And _so_ beautiful, making Lexa's breath catch in her throat.

“Pop tart?” Clarke offered, head cocked to the side and her grin turning cheeky. Holding up the offending, mostly eaten, pop tart and waving it in front of Lexa's face.

Lexa smiled, raising a teasing eyebrow, “Sex _and_ breakfast in bed? Aren't you a good host.”

“Shut up,” Clarke giggled.

Clarke turned, giving Lexa a spectacular view of her bare breasts as the blonde straddled her, the naughty grin never leaving her face. Lexa hummed at the feeling of warm skin against her. Clarke's weight settling on top of her and making her smile. Her hands automatically settling on the blonde's thighs, thumbs stroking. Clarke snapped the last of the pop tart in two, eating the first half quickly and, not so gently, shoving the second half into Lexa's mouth. Making Lexa's nose wrinkle and sealing it with a kiss.

Lexa chewed and swallowed, squeezing at the blonde's thighs, “How about I make you a _real_ breakfast?”

Clarke's elbows landed either side of her head as the blonde leant down, their breasts pressing together deliciously.

“I've got something for you to eat,” The blonde's tone dripped in seduction, her hips moving in a deep grind against Lexa's.

Lexa's laugh got caught in her throat as Clarke's mouth slanted over hers. Meeting her in a heady kiss, tongue immediately seeking entrance and stroking against Lexa's. Lexa humming appreciatively at the taste of Clarke mixed with cherry pop tart. She could feel the crumbs from Clarke's mouth getting mashed against her face but somehow it was still perfect.

Her fingers trailing up Clarke's sides pulled a giggle from the blonde that blew warm breath into her mouth, making her smile. She pulled Clarke to her more firmly with an arm looped around her waist. Lexa pulled away, biting her lip as she snaked her other hand between them. A hard task with how firmly their bodies were pressed together.

The blonde's heavily blown pupils fixed on her. Their faces so close that Lexa had to cross her eyes to focus on Clarke's face. A languid smirk fixed on the blonde's lips as she shifted her hips to accommodate Lexa's hand. The heat between Clarke's legs making them both sigh at the contact.

She managed to tilt her fingers slightly, the back of her hand tight on her lower stomach when Clarke started to move. A slow grind that had her lazily thrusting into Lexa's palm. The tips of Lexa's fingers dragging deliciously through soft folds and bumping against the blonde's clit with every movement. Clarke panting against her mouth hot.

Her wrist was slightly painful at the awkward angle, Clarke's course hair tickling the inside of her wrist and Lexa pulled the blonde closer. Thrusting upwards to further her goal. Watching Clarke's pearly white teeth sink into her plump, bottom lip as soon as two of Lexa's fingers pushed up, into her.

And Lexa moaned. Drinking in the feeling of Clarke wrapped tightly around her digits. She took one more appreciative glance at the blonde's face before moving her lips to Clarke's neck, opening her mouth and lightly sucking on the sensitive skin, running her tongue over it. She was careful not to leave a mark but Clarke had other ideas.

“Mark me, Lexa,” Clarke's groan sounded in her ear, “I want everyone to know who _fucked_ me.”

So Lexa did. Finally letting her teeth sink into pale flesh, getting rewarded by a jolt of Clarke's hips that simultaneously bent her hand at an even harsher angle and sank her fingers deeper into the blonde's cunt. The blonde's own teeth biting painfully into her shoulder.

And Clarke was moving faster. Shifting her hips in a rough, uneven rhythm made only to further her pleasure. A grunt leaving the blonde's throat when Lexa curled her fingers and Lexa could _feel_ Clarke fluttering around the digits. Lexa gripped her harder around the waist, helping the blonde ride her fingers.

And ride them she did. Clarke's hips jerking in rough movements, grinding deeply onto Lexa's fingers. Her arousal leaking over Lexa's hand to the point that everything felt deliciously slippery and Lexa just _knew_ her palm and stomach would have visible evidence of the blonde's excitement when they were done. After a particularly deep thrust of her hips, Clarke let out a throaty whimper. Making Lexa moan at the sound. And Clarke's movements stuttered, her body shaking and her back arching.

“ _Fuck_.”

The word came out in a raw pant against her ear. She was beginning to think it was customary for Clarke to say that mid orgasm. It made her smile. She kept up the rocking motion of her hips, pressing the heel of her hand into the blonde's clit as she helped draw out Clarke's climax. Her mouth pressing kisses to Clarke's cheek, jaw and throat.

Soon enough Clarke's mouth found hers in a lazy kiss and she could _feel_ the blonde smile against her. Once Clarke pulled away she shared the smile, gazing into pretty, blue eyes.

“You're _so_ good at that,” Clarke said, eyebrows raised and voice raw.

Lexa smiled shyly, pressing a quick kiss to Clarke's lips, “So are you.”

“It looks like you can do sex without love after all,” Clarke continued with a smirk.

 _Sure she could_. Lexa held her breath, eyes dancing across the blonde's pretty face. Getting lost in blue eyes, getting so consumed in everything _Clarke_ until she felt Clarke giving her, still buried, fingers a purposeful squeeze. Making her gasp and look up to see a teasing look on the blonde's face.

“C'mon,” Clarke nodded her head towards the door, “I'm hungry.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

They got dressed with shy smiles and shared giggles thrown at each other. Lexa trying, _and failing_ , to find all of her clothes. Clarke, after seeing Lexa's conundrum, throwing a pair of pajama pants at her and laughing when they hit her square in the face. They were still laughing as Clarke tugged Lexa to the kitchen by the hand. Meeting the amused look of Raven as the Latina filled the coffee pot.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” Raven said with a smirk.

Lexa couldn't help but blush. Clarke, however, was as confident as ever, matching Raven's smirk with one of her own.

“Well,” Clarke said, cocking her head to the side and pursing her lips, “She's not a virgin anymore.”

“ _Clarke_!” Lexa scolded, squeezing the hand that was still in her own but her protests fell on deaf ears as the cousins laughed.

She shouldn't of expected anything else. A fond smile came to her face, even as she rolled her eyes at their antics.

“Holy shit!” Raven gasped a laugh, “Lexa, you player!”

Lexa bit her lip, a blush heating up her cheeks but with Raven's amused expression and Clarke looking at her with bright eyes and a big grin, she could only join in, “Okay, so... _now_ I'm the worst teacher ever.”

“You're not a teacher, you're a writer,” Clarke mocked, giving Lexa a nudge with her shoulder.

“I think Clarke's more of the teacher now, since you were a virgin and all-”

“Oh my God!” Lexa cut her off, wide eyed, “I was _not_ a virgin and I...”

She trailed off, unsure of what exactly she wanted to say. She didn't need to learn anything? Clarke had nothing to teacher her, in _that_ regard? No. She wasn't about to discuss _that_ with _Raven_. Clarke, however, seemed more comfortable with sharing.

“Oh, she had _nothing_ to learn,” Clarke grinned, turning to her to throw her a wink, “ _Trust me_.”

Raven's eyes widened comically. The grin on the Latina's face getting even bigger, if that were possible before she was pulling her phone out excitedly, “I _have_ to tell Anya.”

“What? No!” Lexa objected, the blush on her face coming back full force and _just_ when she thought she'd returned to her original color.

“I promised her!” Raven argued, clearly preoccupied by pulling up Anya's contact in her phone.

“What exactly did you promise her?” Lexa narrowed her eyes in horror.

Raven shot her an expression that could only be described as 'duh', “That I'd call her if you ever got laid.”

Lexa groaned, being led to one of the stools at the breakfast bar by Clarke, who took the seat next to her. The blonde clearly amused at the situation and Lexa would be annoyed, you know, if it weren't for the teeth marks on Clarke's throat that was darkening. Reminding her of the intimacy they'd shared only a short time ago. She shot Clarke a smile, getting butterflies in her stomach when it was returned.

“Besides,” Raven rolled her eyes, “She owes me twenty bucks now.”

“Of course she does,” Clarke rolled her eyes, commandeering Raven's cup of coffee, “Why wouldn't you make bets about this? How silly of me to think you weren't a child.”

“Yep,” Raven chuckled, “How silly of you – hey, Anya!”

“ _Missing me already, Reyes?”_

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows, watching Raven hold up the phone, obviously face-timing. Anya was _so_ going to make fun of her, she wasn't going to hear the end of it. Not _ever_. She watched as Raven scoffed, rolling her eyes but the smile that accompanied it a dead give away. Raven was _obviously_ quite fond of Anya. She took a glance at Clarke, seeing her hold the steaming up of coffee under her chin and hum at the smell, maybe her and Clarke could tease 'Ranya' instead.

“You _wish_ , Woods! No, I've got news!”

“ _What's up?”_

“You have to guess.”

“ _I don't know, did someone die?”_

Lexa watched as both of the cousins frowned in confusion. Clarke taking a glance at her but she just shrugged. What was she supposed to say? _'Anya be like that'._ No. She wasn't going to attempt to explain Anya to anyone. _That_ would take forever.

“What? No, why would I make you guess that?” Raven shook her head at the screen, “No, it's _good_ news.”

“ _Oh. Um, Starbucks brought back that poppy seed bagel thing that you liked?”_

“Think bigger.”

“ _Um...”_ Lexa doubted that Anya could sound any border if she tried, _“You won the lottery and now you're a millionaire?”_

“Okay,” Raven laughed, “Maybe not _that_ big. Lexa and Clarke had sex!”

 _That_ peeked Anya's interest, _“Lexa and Clarke did what now?”_

“Sex! They sexed!”

Lexa face palmed, leaning towards Clarke slightly, she whispered, “Kill me?”

Clarke gave her a _somewhat_ sympathetic look, patting her arm gently.

“ _What the damn hell? No?!”_

“Yes!” Raven said enthusiastically.

“ _Wait...you mean in Lexa's dreams right?”_

“What? No,” Raven frowned before a chuckle left her throat, “I mean, _probably_...but real sex too!”

“ _No way!”_

And then she was shoving the phone in front of Lexa's face, “Ask them yourself.”

Lexa frowned, seeing her sister on the screen with wide eyes.

“ _Lexa? What did you do?”_

Lexa gulped, grinning sheepishly, “Apparently I 'sexed', whatever that means.”

“ _No, say it. You I have say it,”_ Anya's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Lexa sighed in defeat, scrubbing a hand down her face, “I slept with Clarke.”

“ _You what with who now?”_ Anya's wide eyes came back full force.

“Ahn-” Lexa whined but was quickly cut off.

“ _You were dreaming, weren't you? Lex, you can't just go around telling everyone that your sex dreams really happened! I mean, I had a sex dream about Christina Aguilera last week, does that mean I slept with her? No-”_

“Anya!” Lexa snapped.

“ _Don't you 'Anya' me! You don't need to make these things up just to seem cool-”_

“Jesus, Anya!” Lexa huffed, “Would you stop? Believe what you want-”

“ _No, I need to hear this from Clarke.”_

Lexa looked at her sister, a mortified expression coming onto her face. Anya was _such_ a pain in the ass. She should've just hung up on her when Raven passed her the damn phone. Fucking _Anya_. But Clarke lent over, her face taking up half the camera as she shot Anya a sly smile.

“I'd be happy to give you a _detailed_ recollection of your _sister_ fucking me, if you'd like,” Clarke teased.

Anya immediately recoiled, nose scrunching in disgust, _“Oh God no, that's...ugh, how did you not directly vomit into her mouth?”_

Clarke shrugged lazily, “She's hot.”

“Why do you always assume people want to vomit on me?” Lexa frowned.

“ _Holy fuck, it really is true. You actually had sex,”_ Anya looked impressed, _“Now that really is one for the newsletter-”_

“Ahn,” Lexa whined.

Anya shrugged, shooting an astonished look between Clarke and Lexa for a few more seconds before disconnecting the call completely without so much as a goodbye. _Typical Anya_. Lexa turned to Raven with a scowl.

“I hope you enjoyed that.”

“I did,” Raven grinned, grabbing a fresh cup and pouring herself a coffee before heading for the stairs, “If you two even _think_ about screwing on the breakfast bar then I'll kick you _both_ out!”

Lexa's eyes widened while Clarke laughed, turning to her, “I thought you were going to make me breakfast?”

 _That_ made Lexa smile.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She thought it was a good idea. Bringing Madison to the park for a bike ride. She assumed that the toddler would find it fun. She pictured Madison's smiling face as she pushed the little brunette along the path in the sunshine. The birds chirping and laughter filling the air. Madison, however, had different ideas.

At the first mention of the bike, when Lexa picked her up, Madison had seemed pretty curious. Lexa had explained that they were selling them at a local toy store and asked the little girl if she'd like to try it. Madison had agreed with a nod of her head and a determined expression on her face.

So Lexa was going to teach her how to ride a bike.

They'd gone to the store, they'd spent a while picking a color. Eventually settling on blue because blue was 'pretty' and they'd left for the park. Lexa striding along with the bike in one hand and Madison on the opposite hip, the toddler fisting the front of her shirt like her life depended on it.

And it was a nice day for a bike ride. The sun was, indeed, out and there were in fact, birds. They'd gotten to the flattest bit of concrete, just a little way from Madison's _beloved_ ducks. Madison would still be able to keep an eye on them, _thank God_. Lexa had set the bike and the toddler down, checking the former for safety and sending the latter an encouraging smile as she explained how Madison was going to ride this bike. That's when things didn't go _quite_ how Lexa pictured them going.

“So,” Lexa patted the seat of the bike from her crouched position, “Sit here.”

But Madison didn't move a muscle, instead just staring at the bike in confusion. Like it was somehow offending her by it's mere presence. Lexa frowned, trying again.

“Are you going to get on it?”

Madison shot Lexa the most apprehensive look she could, shaking her head, “No.”

Lexa's eyebrows shot up in surprise, she glanced between the bike and the toddler, assuming Madison just needed some encouragement, “Bikes are _really_ fun! Just try?”

“No, thank you.”

Lexa smiled, letting out a sigh, “Alright, what do you want to do, little one?”

Madison's eyes met hers, the toddler deep in thought as she regarded Lexa carefully. Like she was making the biggest decision _ever_. Finally she nodded to herself, obviously set on whatever decision she'd come to.

“Duckies.”

Lexa rolled here eyes fondly. _Of course_ Madison wanted to see her ducks. What was she _thinking_. Madison's love affair with her ducks was fast paced from the moment the little girl had come across the creatures and nothing had put a damper on it since. Lexa nodded.

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” She agreed, slinging the bike over her shoulder and holding her hand out for Madison to grab.

Which she did, skipping along next to Lexa and humming gently to herself as they went. Lexa smiled. Her thoughts drifting to Clarke. Maybe she could introduce Clarke and Madison one day. Spending a day with them both sounded just about perfect to Lexa. Her two worlds colliding. She bit her lip, maybe not. Maybe Clarke would find babysitting boring, not everyone liked kids after all and Clarke was a little younger than her. Clarke probably preferred partying to feeding ducks.

A squeal from Madison pulled her attention, looking down to find the little girl with a big smile on her face, waving excitedly at her special friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	13. The Woods-ses-ses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your feedback!  
> <3 for Zee
> 
> Warning - this chapter contains sex.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy...

**13\. The Woods-ses-ses**

She woke up with a start, blinking into the darkness of her bedroom as she tired to decipher what woke her up. With her mind groggy, she barely registered the hands on her hips. The fingers hooking into her pajama shorts and unceremoniously yanking the material down her thighs. Her eyes widened, the gasp in her throat immediately turning into an embarrassingly needy whimper at the feeling of a wet tongue gliding over her clit.

Her thighs clenched, unable to close due to the flat palms pushing them open. Useless against the assault of tongue on her clit. With flailing arms, one hand shot between her legs, landing on a head of soft hair. Her back arching automatically into the willing mouth. Her fingers tangling, urging said mouth. Not that it needed _any_ encouragement.

Her body gave in to the feeling fully, her thighs falling further open for better access. The hands on her thighs shifting under her to grip at her ass. In the next movement that wicked tongue slipped inside her. Stroking against her insides and coaxing a whine from her throat.

The tongue fucked into her at a rapid pace, building her. Her core clenching around the wet muscle. The feeling of the hot mouth against her making her flood against the intrusion. Her breathing coming out in pants and the occasional hitch whenever the talented tongue made her body shiver. Her fingers automatically tugging at the hair threaded through them, the closer she got to oblivion.

The moment she got to the point of teetering on the edge, the tongue left her. Making a noise of protest claw at the back of her throat. But that noise died on her lips as the tongue was replace, a moment later, by two reaching fingers. The feeling of the sudden penetration making her gasp, her back practically arching off the bed and her eyes flying open.

“Oh my God!”

Between the probing thrusts of fingers dragging through her sensitive, slick walls and the punishing suck of lips against her clit, she had no choice but to succumb to the feelings. Her skin flushed and the ministrations giving her no time to catch her breath before she was breaking. Falling down a cliff face and getting lifted into the clouds simultaneously as she crashed.

Something in her lower belly snapping and pushing her into wave after wave of carnal pleasure. With a cry on her lips and a quiver in her spine. The intensity almost too much to bear as her cunt got thoroughly worked. Not giving her a second of respite and keeping her soaring for longer than she thought possible.

Soon, shudders turned into shivers. Cries turned into sighs and the assault on her sex turned into languid, soft stroked of a tongue and gentle kisses. The fingers stilling until her rhythmic clenches slowed and then leaving her completely. Her fingers softening their tight hold as her senses came back to her. Her eyes opening in an attempt to adjust to the darkness.

Her hands came up, peeling back the comforter to reveal the shadows of a familiar face. A familiar face that was smirking.

“Clarke?” Lexa questions softy, voice thick with both sleep and arousal.

Clarke's head tilted teasingly, smirk never faltering in the darkness, “Where you expecting someone else?”

Lexa wished she could see more in the minimal light. Clarke's eyes. Clarke's smile. Clarke's face between her spread thighs. If the glistening on Clarke's chin was what she thought it was. The blonde took her silence as a chance to slide upwards, purposefully dragging her body against Lexa's in the process before her weight settled on top of the brunette.

Clarke's breath fanning over her mouth, “Do you often have naked girls waking you up this way?”

Lexa shook her head, unable to form words in that moment. Her fingers coming up to tuck a strand of blonde hair behind Clarke's ear, her palm settling against Clarke's cheek and the thumb tracing the blonde's eyebrow.

“Good,” Clarke smiled, “It'd be awkward if I ran into someone on my way here, I'd have to fight them for your attention and I'm _not_ very athletic.”

“No,” Lexa licked her lips, getting lost in blue eyes, “My attention is all yours.”

An unreadable look passed over the blonde's face. The air getting thicker around them. The tension becoming slightly awkward before Clarke was wiggling her hips with a light hearted laugh.

“Don't keep me waiting, Lexa.”

Lexa smiled. Hands landing on Clarke's hips, smoothly rounding on the blonde's ass and grabbing fistfuls. Using the leverage to help Clarke grind into her pelvis. Moaning as the state of Clarke's undress registered with her. Trust Clarke to climb into bed with her, naked and wake her up like _that_.

She took a moment to appreciate just how _sexy_ Clarke was. Mused hair, wicked grin and soft, bare body moving expertly against her in fluid body rolls. Thighs squeezing Lexa's hips and elbows planted into the pillows either side of Lexa's head.

Lexa swallowed thickly, “Why do you always get to be in control?”

The cocked eyebrow, she expected. The challenging look in the blonde's eyes, was not. And _that_ was a challenge that Lexa was only too happy to accept. Giving the blonde's ass a firm slap before flipping them roughly. Clarke hitting the mattress with a surprised gasp. Maybe she enjoyed the shocked but excited look on the blonde's face a little too much.

She settled between the blonde's silky thighs, spreading them to accommodate her hips. Her mouth slanting over Clarke's in a needy kiss. She could _taste_ herself on the blonde's tongue and it only spurred her on. Thrusting her hips between Clarke's thighs and feeling Clarke's damp cunt sliding across her lower stomach with every movement.

Clarke groaned into her moan, swiping her tongue against Lexa's in that filthy way that only Clarke could. Lexa recoiled, pulling away as Clarke mewled, she wasn't going to let Clarke take control. Not this time. Her teeth met Clarke's lower lip, nipping harshly, getting the blonde's attention as she grabbed Clarke's hands. Pining them to the pillows above Clarke's head.

“Fuck, Lexa,” Clarke cried out, licking the blood that Lexa left behind on her bottom lip, “Where have you been hiding this?”

She didn't need to reply.

She held both of Clarke's wrists in one hand and fell to the side of the blonde's body, giving her other hand full access. Her mouth finding Clarke's neck, teeth meeting skin immediately. Making Clarke hiss and writhe.

Her palm connected with the base of Clarke's throat, squeezing long enough to hear Clarke gasp before moving downwards. Stroking firmly between Clarke's breast, over the soft expanse of Clarke's stomach and settling between spread thighs. Forcefully cupping the blonde's mound.

Clarke let out a whimper, her thighs shifting to clamp over Lexa's hand but Lexa was quicker. Pushing Clarke's thighs back open with a shove and nipping Clarke's ear. Her hand falling back to Clarke's sex.

“Keep them open for me,” Lexa hissed lowly, “You're good at that.”

For a second Lexa worried that she'd gone too far. That unleashing her dominant side on the blonde had been too much. But those worries vanished the moment she felt Clarke's thighs open further for her and a guttural moan left the blonde's throat. It made her smirk, even as her teeth found their way back to Clarke's jaw.

“ _Jesus_ , Lexa! Just fuck me!” Clarke groaned impatiently.

“I will when I'm ready to,” Lexa growled against Clarke's skin.

Clarke let out a whimper and Lexa groaned, giving the blonde's cunt a gentle slap. The wet sound reaching their ears. Clarke let out a giggle, making Lexa's eyebrows shoot up as she pulled away from the blonde to see her grinning face. She couldn't help but press a kiss against Clarke's mouth.

“It isn't supposed to be funny,” Lexa grumbled against soft lips.

“It's not!” Clarke shook her head, “I'm sorry. It's really sexy, I'm just enjoying this side of you.”

Lexa smiled, leaning back into Clarke's lips. Both of them giggling through the first few meshes of their lips before Clarke's tongue came to play, turning things heated.

Her hand found it's way back up. Fingers dancing over Clarke's stomach until she was cupping a breast. Clarke's hardened nipple grazing against her palm as she squeezed the fleshy globe, eliciting a moan.

Their mouths met again and again in messy, wet kisses while Lexa explored Clarke's chest. _Playing_ with the blonde's breasts. Taking her time squeezing them, manipulating them. Stroking and pinching Clarke's nipples. Winding Clarke up to the point of writhing. Panting and arching against Lexa in earnest.

“Fuck me, Lexa,” Clarke whimpered, a needy whine leaving her mouth.

Lexa smirked, reconnecting their lips, fingers rolling Clarke's nipple, “Where are your manners?”

“ _Please!_ ”

The sound of Clarke's voice was desperate, needy and _so_ satisfying to Lexa. Her hand fell between Clarke's spread thighs, fingers rubbing harshly at the blonde's clit and making Clarke sob a loud moan.

“Good girl,” Lexa teased, leaning her head down and sucking a nipple into her mouth.

“Jesus, fuck!” Clarke whimpered, arching off the bed.

Clarke's hips rolling into her hand. Lexa moaning at the slippery feeling of Clarke's clit against her fingers. The blonde _thoroughly_ soaked for her. She could tell that it wouldn't take Clarke long to come, from the breathy whimpers filling the air.

She tightened her grasp on Clarke's wrists when the blonde started to wiggle, fighting the hold. But Lexa was stronger. Grazing her teeth across Clarke's nipple in time with the firm strokes of her thumb against the blonde's clit. Once, twice, three times before Clarke let out a loud, guttural sob. Back arching, mouth open and head thrown back as she came with her usual _'fuck'_.

And Lexa watched her with hungry eyes. Softly stroking into Clarke's folds and kissing across soft flesh as the blonde took deep breaths. Feeling Clarke's racing heart under her cheek as the blonde came down from her high.

After a few, long minutes, Clarke's eyes fluttered open and blue met green. Lexa smirked, working her fingers and watching Clarke quiver every time her fingers connected with the blonde's over sensitive bundle of nerves.

“I love,” Lexa punctuated each word with a harsher stroke, “To watch you come for me.”

As soon as the word 'me' left her lips, Lexa was pushing three fingers into Clarke's unsuspecting cunt. The blonde arching clean off the bed, eyes wide and mouth open.

“Holy fucking! _Fuck_ \- Holy shit! Lex-AH!”

She smiled, nosing her way across Clarke's cheek and pressing kisses as she went. Taking her time to wait for the blonde to adjust to the intrusion. Clarke's cunt clenching around her fingers tightly. Chest heaving beautifully.

“Jesus, babe,” Clarke whined, “I know I said I wanted you to fuck me but-”

Lexa cut Clarke off by moving her hand, pulling back before deeply plunging her fingers back into the blonde. Leaning on the wrists she was holding onto for leverage and taking Clarke's strangled cry as a green light to start fucking her.

Clarke's eyes rolled into the back of her head, her body rolling and hips working upwards in an attempt to meet Lexa's punishing thrusts.

Wrist cramping at the pace she was setting, Lexa couldn't get enough of seeing Clarke like this, out of control and getting thoroughly fucked. She'd _never_ forget the image. She kept her pace. The sun was starting to rise and giving her a beautiful view of Clarke's body.

Her eyes narrowing in on where Clarke's cunt was swallowing her fingers and she hummed her appreciation against Clarke's breast. Moaning at the view coupled with with the needy grip on her digits.

The wet slapping sound of arousal coated skin against skin, only spurred her on to pound into Clarke. Clarke's cunt stretching around her fingers. The heel of her hand hitting against Clarke's clit with every thrust until she felt Clarke fluttering around her.

“Fuck, Clarke,” Lexa hissed against the blonde's skin, “Come for me.”

“ _Fuck_!” The blonde keened, shuddering a breath as her body responded to the command.

Cunt clenching, back arching and sobbed whimpers as Clarke's come covered her hand. Lexa groaned at the sight.

“Shit,” Clarke giggled, looking up at Lexa with a flushed face and a grin, breathing heavy, “I'm going to hurt tomorrow.”

“Maybe,” Lexa agreed with a smile, flexing her fingers inside the blonde and making a gasp catch in Clarke's throat.

She let go of Clarke's wrists. Smiling as the blonde's arms wrapped around her shoulders. And gently pulled her fingers out, bringing them to her mouth to clean and _taste_. Not missing the blue eyes following her movements. Gasping a second later when her tongue was getting sucked into Clarke's mouth.

Her head hit the pillow next to Clarke's head, nose buried in Clarke's hair. Limbs tangled. Skin to skin. She hummed in contentment. Eye's drooping. Sighing in Clarke's scent. She felt soft fingers stroking against her cheekbone.

“Sleep,” She head Clarke whisper.

\- - - - - - - - - -

When she woke up, it was to the _beautiful_ view of Clarke's bare ass as the blonde bent over, rifling through one of her draws. She sat up, eyes lingering.

“Was this your plan all along?” Lexa asked, eyebrow raised, “Seduce me to steal my things?”

Clarke glanced at her over her shoulder, rolling her eyes, “ _No_. I'm trying to find some clothes so that I don't have to go downstairs naked.”

“You know,” Lexa teased, licking her lips, “If you didn't creep into my room in the middle of the night _butt naked_ then you wouldn't be in this predicament.”

Clarke stood then, turning to her wearing only a smirk. Lexa's eyes trailing over Clarke's body as Clarke walked over to the bed with an enticing sway of hips.

“Are you complaining?” Clarke teased, leaning forward and pressing a short kiss against Lexa's lips.

She smiled into the kiss, “ _Never_.”

“Good,” Clarke said with a wide grin, standing upright, “Come on, I heard Raven get up a while ago and I'm in _dire_ need of a coffee before school.”

Lexa agreed with a grumble and a nod. Getting out of bed and getting dressed for the day. Only peeking a little as Clarke pulled on a pair of soft, grey sweat pants and an oversized white shirt. Clarke caught her peeking anyway, sending her a naughty smile and shoulder checking her on the way past.

“ _Jesus_ , I'm sore,” Clarke grumbled, making her way down the stairs in front of Lexa, “Did you _have_ to fuck me?”

Lexa gasped, “You told me to!”

“I know,” Clarke giggled, pausing in her decent to look at Lexa, “You're just so passive, I wanted to heat things up.”

Lexa's eyes widened at the light hearted tease. Their eyes connecting for a few seconds before Lexa was chasing the giggling blonde down the stairs. Clarke letting out squeals every time Lexa's tickling fingers came into contact with her sides.

And she kept chasing her until she barreled into Clarke's back at the blonde's abrupt stop in the kitchen. Hands landing on Clarke's hips to steady herself. It took her a few seconds to realize the reason for Clarke's halting but when she did, her eyes widened.

There was Raven, waving around the _fucking_ spatula with a shit eating grin on her face. Standing next to none other than her little brother, Aden _fucking_ Woods.

“You guys want waffles or have you had your fill?” Raven asked along with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

“Lexa!” Aden shrieked, jogging over and throwing himself into Lexa's arms the moment she'd stepped away from Clarke.

“Ade!” Lexa grinned hugging him back tightly, “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, _sor-ry_!” Aden said, pulling back and throwing a hand over his heart in mock offence, “I thought you'd be _pleased_ -”

“Shut up, I am!” Lexa chuckled, “Where's mom?”

Aden jerked his thumb towards the front door just as it opened to reveal Anya and Indra.

Anya sending them all a smile before gesturing to Indra, “This is our mom, Ind-”

“Indra!” Raven squealed, making all of the Woods siblings frown while Clarke rolled her eyes, “I'm Raven Reyes. It's _so_ good to finally meet you. We are going to be best friends forever, I can tell. Plus, can I just say, _well fucking_ done for creating Anya cause, well, _fuck_ she's a dish.”

Indra hardly even looked phased, just levelling Raven with an amused expression, “Why thank you, Raven Reyes. Gustus and I always did have high hopes for Anya to become a _dish_.”

“Then mission fucking accomplished, Mrs W,” Raven grinned.

“And you are?” Indra asked turning to Clarke.

“Clarke,” Lexa answered, swallowing thickly, “This is Clarke, my...she's my...” She trailed off. Friend? She wasn't sure.

Clarke tilted her head to the side, a naughty smirk coming to her face, “Lover.”

Lexa's mouth dropped open. Trust Clarke to drop her in it. And trust Anya and Raven to snigger in amusement. She shot them, what she hoped were, scary death glares. She didn't miss Aden's eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“It's nice to meet you,” Clarke continued with an easy smile, “I'm not going to compliment you on your children's sex appeal and I'd rather just be friendly acquaintances than _best friends_ , if that's okay with you.”

Indra smiled, “I appreciate that.”

“Wait a second,” Aden started up, “ _Lovers?_ Did Lexa pay you to say that?”

“What?” Clarke giggled, catching eyes with Anya and Raven who were just about doubled over in laughter.

“Aden!” Lexa scolded with a frown.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Aden held his hands up in defense before shooting Lexa a condescending look, “But just so you know, Lexa, you shouldn't of wasted your money _just_ to look cool in front of Indra.”

Lexa scowled, not missing the wink Clarke threw her way and _seriously_ not amused by the chuckles leaving Raven and Anya.

“Are you too cool to hug your mother?” Came Indra's voice.

“Never!” Lexa declared with a laugh of her own, melting into Indra's arms.

A moment later, her siblings were next to her. All of them sticking their hands in the middle of the circle they'd formed and smirks on their faces as they chanted, “Woods!”

It was a stupid tradition, one that Gustus had started when Lexa played little league. But it stuck. The confused looks on Clarke and Raven's faces brought heat to her cheeks.

“What the hell was that?” Raven asked.

“Family tradition,” Anya smirked with a shrug.

“Jeez, our only family tradition is avoiding eye contact when grandma Griffin says something racist,” Raven rolled her eyes, nudging her cousin.

Lexa blinked at them, dumbfounded for a second before she turned back to her mother, “I thought you guys weren't coming until tonight?”

“I decided to let Aden have the day off to spend time with Anya because I have some people to see today,” Indra explained, getting ushered by Raven to the breakfast bar, a full plate of waffles and fruit in front of her.

Lexa nodded, following everyone further into the kitchen.

“He wanted to spend some one on one time with his favorite sister,” Anya quipped with a wink.

“Provided that his _favorite sister_ doesn't encourage him to get into any trouble,” Indra sent Anya a scolding look, making Anya roll her eyes.

“I'm just trying to make sure he ends up as cool as I am,” Anya grumbled, “God knows Lexa isn't going to help with that.”

Lexa scowled, sticking her tongue out at her sister.

“I don't know,” Aden mused, tapping his chin thoughtfully, “I think Lexa might _officially_ be the cooler sister now that she's dating this beauty.”

Clarke chuckled at the thumb being jerked in her direction while Lexa smiled proudly.

“Hey!” Anya scowled, “I wouldn't call it _dating_ , besides, if you wanna talk beauty have you _seen_ Raven?”

“Fair point, well made,” Aden nodded, “At this rate I'm going to have to wife up Christina Aguilera to compete with you two.”

“What the hell is it with the Woods siblings and Christina Aguilera?” Raven frowned, cocking her head at Clarke.

The blonde just shrugged, “She's hot. I'd do her.”

“That's not saying much-”

“Hey!” Clarke slapped Raven's arm in retaliation, “I do have _standards_.”

“And those standards include the dork that is my sister,” Anya smirked.

“Anya!” Indra scolded, making Aden and Lexa share a grin at their other sibling getting into trouble, “What have I told you about your sarcasm?”

“Not at the dinner table,” Anya grumbled, shooting death glares at her grinning siblings.

“That's right,” Indra waved a finger in her oldest daughter's face, “You aren't too old for me to ground you, you know.”

“Sorry, mommy,” Anya frowned, looking thoroughly chastised.

“See,” Clarke raised a teasing eyebrow, stealing a blueberry from Raven's plate, “Your mom agrees with me, dorks are _sexy_.”

“Get your damn own!” Raven snapped at Clarke with a smack to the blonde's ass.

Aden scurried over, picking up his plate and holding it out to Clarke with a bow, “Milady.”

“Thank you, kind sir,” Clarke grinned, accepting the plate and hauling herself up, onto the kitchen counter before tucking in.

“Damn,” Raven smirked, spatula waving towards Aden, “Smooth, that one.”

“Yup,” Anya chuckled, popping the 'p', “He's got the 'Woods charm', unlike Lexa.”

“Hey!” Lexa's protests fell on deaf ear. Indra giving her a sympathetic look, which _did not_ make her feel better because really? Her _mom_?

“Don't worry, I can give you some pointers,” Aden quipped with a charming smile as he stole the plate Raven had _just_ given her. Making Lexa pout.

“Come here, babe,” Clarke hooked a leg around Lexa's waist pulling her in, “You can share with me.”

 _That_ wiped the pout off her face, she shot Aden a wink, gesturing to the fork that Clarke was pointing towards her mouth, “Woods charm.”

Raven made a snorting noise, sharing a glance at Anya, who was smirking and everyone tucked into their food. Lexa stealing bites from Clarke and Raven making gagging noises to make them laugh. It was Aden who broke the silence after a few quiet minutes.

“I didn't know this place was a museum,” He said, drawing everyone's attention, “But _you_ ,” Aden gestured to Clarke, “Are a piece of art.”

It took a few seconds for the joke to sink in but once it did, everyone was in hysterics.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Finn _fucking_ Collins. How could she forget that he'd be back today? Other than the fact she'd all but forgotten his _existence_. Fuck. She'd hoped she hadn't looked _quite_ as annoyed as she felt at his mere presence.

The rumors about Clarke and Finn's break up had simmered out with Finn's absence but she wasn't sure that it would stay that way, now that the boy was back. He settled into a seat in the front row. Receiving glares from Octavia and she started her class with a sigh.

When Clarke _honored_ them with her presence twenty minutes later, slipping into the room and doing a double take upon noticing Finn. Schooling herself in the next moment but Lexa had caught it. She also caught how Finn sent the blonde a dirty look, so she made her way across the room. Tapping her knuckles on his desk and giving him a pointed look once she'd gotten his attention. Keeping it until Clarke had settled into the space Octavia and Lincoln had made between them.

She _tried_ to carry on the lesson. _Hoped_ everyone would just get on with their assignments. But _of course_ Finn just _couldn't_. It started with hushed whispers that she didn't quite catch. She noticed Finn scowling at Clarke, while Clarke kept her head down. Lincoln's arm slung across the blonde's shoulders. Octavia hissing at Finn from her seat. Lexa's eyes narrowed, focusing in on the conversation.

“I'm just saying,” Finn snarled, jerking his chin towards Lincoln and Clarke, “She's moved on from me pretty quick.”

“And I'm _just saying_ ,” Octavia sneered, “You _moved on_ from her _before_ you even broke up!”

“Whatever,” Finn grumbled, “She deserved it-”

“Fuck you!” Clarke joined in, voice steely but eyes glued to her desk.

Finn leant back in his chair, a smirk covering his face, “You already have.”

Clarke spun around but Lexa was quicker, “Keep your comments to yourself, Mr Collins.”

Finn's eyes widened, “Clarke started it! You've seen her _violent_ tendencies-”

“Finn-”

“She's off the fucking rails-”

“I'll show you 'off the fucking rails',” Clarke cut him off.

“Enough!” Lexa raised her voice, gaining shocked expressions from the whole room, “Do your work.”

Clarke clenched her jaw but returned to her assignment but Finn kept up his muttering.

“ _I_ got fucking suspended, _she_ gets away with everything-”

“One more word and you'll be in detention, Collins.”

 _That_ shut him up. Lexa sighed. She couldn't _wait_ for this class to be over.

Luckily the rest of the hour went by with no other disturbance. Although, from time to time, she did notice Octavia shooting Finn some _vicious_ glares. Clarke lingered after, waiting for the other students to disappear before sidling over to Lexa and sitting on the desk. A far off look on her face.

“You okay?” Lexa asked, shooting Clarke a soft smile.

Clarke nodded thoughtfully, eyes dancing around the room. It was clear to Lexa that Clarke's mind was somewhere else.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked softly, squeezing the blonde's thigh.

It drew Clarke's attention to her, blue eyes finally settling on hers and Clarke blew out a breath. Shaking her head.

“I'm fine,” She smiled lopsidedly before a smirk came on her face, “Wanna fuck me on this desk after school?”

Lexa laughed, glad to have Clarke back in that moment, “I wish! I'm babysitting, then dinner with Indra.”

Clarke hummed, nodding again and eyes searching Lexa's face, voice taking on a seductive tone, “Make sure you save some room for dessert.”

“Oh?” Lexa raised an eyebrow, blush coming to her cheeks.

Clarke nodded, leaning forwards to brush their lips together before pulling back with a wink, “You're looking at the menu.”

A little whine escaped from the back of Lexa's throat, making her blush in embarrassment. Clarke Griffin was going to be the death of her.

\- - - - - - - - - -

“Anya said she'd bring the wonder boy over, after schools out so we can blow some shit up in my lab,” Raven grinned excitedly, slumping into the couch next to Lexa at lunchtime. The Latina frowning when Lexa didn't respond, “Who peed in you cornflakes?”

Lexa sighed, scrubbing a hand down her face, “Finn Collins is back.”

“Oh,” Raven nodded, mouth turning into a thin line.

It was the most serious she'd ever seen her friend look, “What? Do you hate him as much as I do?”

Raven lifted a shoulder in a half shrug, “It's just..I don't know, Clarke's been doing so good lately and that little fucker doesn't know how to keep his damn mouth closed!”

“Tell me about it!” Lexa nodded in agreement, “I already had to threaten him with a detention today.”

Raven's eyes snapped to hers, “What did he say?”

“Just something about Clarke being 'off the rails' and whining about being suspended.”

“Oh,” Raven mused, “What about Clarke? She okay?”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded, “Octavia was sticking up for her and I spoke to her after.”

“Thanks, Lex,” Raven smiled, resting her head on Lexa's shoulder, “Let's just hope he doesn't fuck things up for her.”

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked, glancing down nervously. The thought of anyone 'fucking things up' for Clarke leaving her with a unsettling feeling in her gut.

Raven shrugged, sitting upright to look at Lexa, “It's like every time Clarke gets it together and is doing okay, the world just sends her a big heap of shit to climb out of. Girl can only take so much, you know?”

Lexa nodded, pursing her lips and waiting for Raven to continue. She watched her friend let out a big sigh.

“I feel like I only just got her back from last time she crashed,” Raven mumbled sadly.

“Hey,” Lexa frowned, wrapping what she hoped was a comforting arm around Raven's shoulders, “Didn't you tell me that Clarke always manages to claw her way back to sanity _every_ time she hits rock bottom?”

“Yeah,” Raven nodded, “I know. It's just...Clarke was, _is_ , the most stable, responsible person I know, she's had to deal with _so_ much and it's...it's just hard seeing her like this. Even if I _know_ that she'll be okay, it's the watching her hit rock bottom that hurts. Knowing there's _nothing_ I can do about it.”

“I think you do a lot,” Lexa shrugged, giving Raven a reassuring smile, “I think you help her find her way back to herself, she wouldn't be doing so well without you, right?”

Raven shrugged, a thoughtful frown on her face, “Maybe, I don't know. Clarke's just...if nothing else, that girl is resilient as fuck.”

“Something tells me she gets that from you.”

They shared the moment, tentative smiles on each of their faces as they let the words sit. It wasn't often that Raven opened up about Clarke and Lexa wasn't going to push. She knew that Clarke was going through stuff, that much was evident but she didn't know what. Nor did she need to. All she needed to do was be there for them both. After a while the heaviness in the air changed, something more neutral taking it's place. And Raven leant back on the couch. Their moment over, so Lexa smiled.

“So...Anya's bringing Ade over?”

“Yeah,” Raven grinned, “Apparently he's a science nerd so I'm pretty excited to let him make some mini explosions.”

Lexa nodded. Aden was a lot of things, including being a bit of a geek. They were all so proud of his academic mind, something Lexa and Anya were lacking a bit. They'd never gotten the grades that Aden did when they were in school. Something Indra liked to point out whenever possible. But the sisters were glad for it. Aden was smart. Aden was going somewhere, he was going to be someone. Anyone he wanted.

“He's a little genius,” She smiled fondly before she nudged Raven teasingly, “How's it going with you and Anya, spending a lot of time together are you?”

“I don't know, how's it going with you and Clarke?” Raven quipped, throwing Lexa a pointed look.

Lexa sighed, that was fair. She supposed, “Is this were you threaten to kill me if I hurt her?”

“No,” Raven laughed with a shake of her head, “If you hurt her then Clarke's more than capable of killing you herself, definitely before _I_ get the chance.”

“You sound like you _want_ to get the chance,” Lexa laughed, slapping Raven lightly on the arm when the Latina looked like she was considering it. Lexa let out another sigh, voice turning more serious, “I care about her _so_ much, Raven.”

“I know,” Raven agreed, tone careful as she squinted at Lexa, “Just...don't get hurt. I don't wanna have to pick sides and I don't wanna have to end things with Anya _just_ because Clarke can't deal with looking at your stupid face.”

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked, teeth finding her bottom lip.

“Clarke doesn't do relationships,” Raven shrugged, “She does distractions.”

Lexa was quiet for a moment. Pondering the implications of Raven's words. She didn't know what her and Clarke were. She had forced herself not to think about it but in the back of her mind she'd been more than aware of that possibility. That she was a distraction for Clarke. Somehow it didn't matter. She wanted Clarke in whatever way Clarke was willing to give her. Distraction or not. It was worth it. _Clarke_ was worth it. She just hoped that it would never end up how Raven suggested. That she'd always be in Clarke and Raven's lives in some capacity. She wasn't ready to give up her friend and she wasn't ready for Clarke to be a memory.

“What does she need distracting from?” Lexa mused without thinking, she squeezed her eyes shut in regret.

It wasn't her business. She'd promised herself that if she ever go to know what was wrong in Clarke's life that it would be Clarke choice. Luckily, she knew that Raven would never just divulge that information. Raven was always on Clarke's side, she'd always do what was in Clarke's best interests.

“Life?” Raven shrugged, “Her mom, just...everything.”

Lexa nodded, thankful for the vague answer and lent against her friends shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a line <3


	14. Pretty Aden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that left feedback.  
> Feedback, especially reviews mean the world to me so thank you so much!  
> <3 for my buddy, Zee.  
> There is content of the sexuals in here so consider yourself warned.  
> Hope you guys enjoy!

**14\. Pretty Aden**

“So, illusive daughter of mine,” Indra levelled her with a scolding expression that Lexa _just knew_ was coming, “Tell me why I haven't heard from you.”

Lexa sighed. It wasn't that she didn't like to talk to her mom. She loved her mom, she missed her when she wasn't around her. It just hadn't been easy. She'd been so consumed with her new life that she hadn't thought much of it. And every time she _had_ though about picking up the phone, she'd hesitated. She glanced down at Madison who was sitting cross legged in her lap, using Lexa's knees as a runway for a toy airplane she'd found for the toddler. Surprisingly, _not_ , Marcus had asked Lexa to hang on to Madison for as long as she could. _Again_. Not that she was complaining, she'd keep Madison forever but it made her angry that no one else seemed to want the little girl around. So there they were, having a burger at Azgeda with Indra.

“I don't know,” Lexa mused, chewing thoughtfully on one of her fries, “I don't have an excuse.”

Indra raised an eyebrow, tackling her own burger, “I didn't ask for an excuse, Alexandria, I asked for the reason.”

“Damn, Alexandria-ing me? I _must_ be in trouble,” Lexa teased, earning a smile from Indra, “I've been preoccupied with fitting in here and...I didn't want you to think badly of me.”

Indra frowned, “And why would I think badly of you?”

Lexa's eyes met the table, her chin coming to rest on Madison's head, “Clarke.”

“What about Clarke?”

Lexa rubbed the back of her neck, pink coloring her cheeks, “She's...the thing is...”

“Spit it out, Lexa. I don't have the time for you to beat around the bush,” Indra scolded in that no nonsense tone Lexa loved, “I _am_ getting on, you know.”

“Death jokes? Really?” Lexa smirked before nodding and steeling herself, “Clarke's a student, mom.”

The silence that followed was awkward. Lexa couldn't bare to look at the disappointed look that she was sure was on Indra's face. So she focused on Madison, stroking a hand over the toddlers dark curls and watching her little hand as she rolled the airplane over Lexa's knee. Humming to herself and usual. Her big, blue eyes meeting Lexa's.

“Pane,” Madison held it up to Lexa's face in wonder.

“That's right,” Lexa nodded, “Pretty plane.”

Madison nodded thoughtfully, bringing the item closer to her face for further inspection, “Pretty pane.”

“Lexa-”

“I know,” Lexa cut her off as Indra spoke, she squeezed her eyes shut, preparing herself to see the disappointment in Indra's eyes, “I know it's bad, you don't have to tell me. I know you're disappointed.”

But when she finally looked up to face her mother, Indra didn't look disappointed, she just looked concerned and it made Lexa frown.

“ _Lexa_ ,” Indra continued, “Oh, Lexa. You haven't been calling me because you thought I'd judge you?”

Lexa blinked, teeth sinking into her bottom lip. Wasn't Indra doing just that? Judging her?

“Disappointed or not, this is _no_ reason not to call me,” Indra scolded, “Besides, Anya already told me about Clarke.”

A gasp left Lexa's mouth, _fucking Anya_ , “What the hell?”

“Language,” Indra shot a look at Madison and Lexa deflated, running a hand over the toddlers belly in apology, “It's a good thing that your sister talks, otherwise I wouldn't know anything that happens in your life.”

“I'm not _that_ bad-”

“Lexa,” Indra cut her off with a pointed look, making her sigh, “Look, I'm not going to tell you that this thing with Clarke is absolutely fine because it _isn't_. It's a complicated situation... _but_ it isn't the worst situation either.”

“What?” Lexa blinked in confusion.

“I imagine your reservations are age, commitment and the whole teacher student thing,” Indra asked, “Right?”

“Well, yeah but-”

“Lexa, age doesn't matter. She's legal and you're both adults.”

Lexa nodded, _that_ was true.

“As far as commitment goes, that can be difficult in any relationship.”

“Right,” Lexa nodded again.

“And the teacher student thing,” Indra continued, “If you were actually a teacher then this would be completely wrong but you aren't. You aren't even _trained_. You only got the job because your uncle Marcus is good friends with the principle and they were running out of options to find someone to cover that maternity leave. You aren't even keeping this job, it's only for this year. Also, Lexa...it's _Clarke_.”

“I know,” Lexa deflated further before her eyes narrowed, “Wait, what do you mean 'it's Clarke'?”

“You stupid girl,” Indra shook her head, “I see the way you look at her, Lexa. It's obvious to _anyone_...subtlety has never been your strong suit, after all. You love her.”

Lexa's mouth fell open, she hadn't expected _that_. For Indra to just throw words like _love_ out there. Especially so bluntly.

“ _Mom_ , it's not...me and Clarke aren't...it's not like _that_ ,” Lexa struggled for words, still trying to gather herself.

Luckily Madison interrupted the moment, holding up a fry, “Fy for Lessa.”

Lexa smiled, taking it from the toddler and leaving a sloppy kiss on Madison's cheek in thanks. She watched as Madison took another fry from her plate, holding it in Indra's direction.

“Fy for Indy,” Madison smiled when Indra took it with a grin, thanking her, “And fy for Madi.”

“So kind,” Lexa smiled, nuzzling Madison's cheek and pressing kisses to her hair line.

\- - - - - - - - - -

_This_ is _not_ where she wanted to be. Or it was. It _so_ was. But she _shouldn't_.

One minute she was having a coffee with her mom and Aden. Indra coming by to drop Aden off for the day, catching up with Lexa while waiting for Anya – because of course Anya couldn't just _come with them_ \- to arrive so that they could go shopping. It had been lovely. Until Clarke had woken up, lounging around the kitchen in skimpy pajamas that Lexa _just knew_ the blonde had only worn to get to her. And sending her secretive smiles.

The next minute she was in Clarke's private bathroom with the blonde hiked up on the sink, her hips settled between spread thighs. And this was _not_ what she had in mind when Clarke had asked her to fix the shower curtain.

“The shower curtain isn't even broken, _Clarke_ ,” She complained into the frantic kiss.

“I'm well aware, _Lexa_ ,” Clarke spat back, tone mocking.

“Fuck,” Lexa groaned, coaxing Clarke's tongue to come out to play.

Her arms wrapped tightly around Clarke's waist, her hips having a mind of their own and rocking into the blonde. Her hand made it's way into Clarke's hair, gripping perhaps slightly too hard as she sucked on Clarke's lower lip. Clarke moaned into her mouth, making her eyes widen.

“Shh!” She pulled away, turning her head out of reach when Clarke's lips followed her, “My mom is _just_ out there.”

Clarke raised a challenging eyebrow, eyes dark with arousal, “If you didn't want to fuck me in this bathroom with you mom _just_ out there then you shouldn't of _teased_ me.”

“What?” Lexa gasped, “I didn't _tease_ you.”

“Oh, _please_ ,” Clarke rolled her eyes, “You were looking at me like I'm a damn _meal_.”

Lexa groaned at the thought, Clarke was definitely a _damn meal_ , “Fucking hell, Clarke. You're seriously corrupting me.”

Clarke snorted, shaking her head and looking at Lexa like she was a _complete_ idiot. Maybe she was.

“I'm being serious!” Lexa hissed, “Before I met you I was a good girl.”

That earned another eye roll, “Well, I'm a _bad_ girl and I've been naughty so how about you _punish_ me?”

Between the words, the hungry look in those blue eyes and Clarke's thighs giving her a pointed squeeze, Lexa groaned, “ _Jesus_ , are you trying to kill me?”

“Just shut up and fuck me, Lexa.”

Lexa groaned, slanting their lips together in a frantic kiss. Breath mingling, teeth tugging and tongues searching. Their hands flying everywhere. Clarke's eventually settling at the back of Lexa's head, fingers carding into hair. Lexa's gripping at Clarke's hips, toying with the waistband of Clarke's pajama shorts. Gripping at Clarke like she never wanted to let her go.

Things heated up quickly. Lexa's hands slipping into the back of Clarke's shorts, squeezing the blonde's pantie clad ass. Clarke's hips grinding into Lexa with vigor, tongue pushing forcefully into Lexa's mouth between harsh nips. Lexa was the one to pull away, but minimally, as she tugged Clarke's shirt over her head. Clarke smirking at Lexa's sharp intake of breath as her green eyes landed on the swell of Clarke's breasts.

“You're so sexy,” Lexa breathed out, running her lips over Clarke's cheek and dropping a kiss to pliant lips before her mouth dropped to Clarke's cleavage.

Clarke was panting soon after that and Lexa couldn't control herself. Pulling off Clarke's shorts and underwear, she dropped down, hands parting Clarke's thighs and eyeing her greedily. Clarke's head fell back the moment Lexa's mouth latched onto her.

“Oh, fuck me!” Clarke groaned.

“That was the idea, Clarke,” Lexa smirked against damp flesh, thoroughly enjoying Clarke's unique smell and taste. She could never quite get enough of it.

Ignoring the reprimanding tug on her hair, Lexa grabbed Clarke's hips. Taking in the exceptionally smooth skin under her fingertips and reveling in being this close to Clarke. The breathy whimpers leaving Clarke's mouth, only spurring her on. She loved the noises she could pull from the blonde. And tried to take her time enjoying them, savoring this but her slow pace was met by a heel in the ribs. Clarke letting out a gentle, but impatient moan.

“You can take your time later,” Clarke growled, bucking her hips into Lexa's face.

Lexa nodded, her mouth going to work and as soon as she started sucking on Clarke's clit she realized just how close Clarke already was. It shouldn't surprise her really, Clarke seemed to be a real morning person when it came to sex. With the wetness against her chin and the writhing of Clarke's body, Lexa knew it wouldn't take much.

Lifting one of Clarke's thighs over her shoulder for a better angle, Lexa pushed her tongue into Clarke's warm cunt. Making Clarke growl, Lexa knew just how much Clarke loved to be tongue fucked. And Clarke's hand was against the back of Lexa's head, forcefully pushing Lexa's face between her legs even harder and rolling her hips long and deep, against Lexa's mouth. Letting out a sharp cry and coming around Lea's tongue, liquid covering Lexa's mouth and chin.

Lexa smiled, happy with herself as she licked firmly through Clarke's folds. Collecting her prize in the form of Clarke's essence as well as cleaning the blonde up. Clarke panted heavily, watching Lexa through hooded eyes as her hands came away from Lexa's head to rest behind her. Lexa didn't miss the intense gaze, matching it with her own as she continued to gently clean Clarke's pussy with her tongue.

And even if the expression on Clarke's face was unreadable, Lexa enjoyed it. She drank in every detail. The deep, darkened eyes with blown pupils, full of arousal. The pouty, kissable lips that were slightly parted. The hint of white teeth and the tip of that flat, wet tongue. The blush stretched from Clarke's bare breasts to her cheeks. The mused, sexed up hair. She was beautiful. And _so_ sexy.

“Come up here,” Clarke's voice came out gravelly.

Lexa gave her a lopsided smile, running her hands up Clarke's smooth thighs and grasping her hips. Leaning forward from her kneeling position between Clarke's thighs to press a light kiss against the soft skin of the blonde's stomach. Clarke pursed her lips and sat up, effectively burying Lexa's face in her belly. Clarke's fingers threading through hair, gently pulling her head back to make eye contact again and met her in a heady kiss. And Lexa groaned, the feeling of Clarke sucking the taste from her tongue turning her on like nothing else.

Then Lexa was being pushed back, away from Clarke and Clarke was getting down from the counter but in the next moment, turning and bending over it. Lexa's eyes went wide, greedily running over Clarke's body to take in every detail from this angle.

“Come on, Lexa,” Clarke husked, blue eyes travelling up Lexa's body until their eyes met. And wiggling her bare, round ass, “I bet you've thought about taking me like this.”

Lexa's jaw clenched, a predatory look coming over her face as she stepped closer and leant over Clarke's body, lips pressing to Clarke's ear, “Fuck, you're so naughty.”

Clarke hissed as Lexa's teeth met the back of her shoulder, Lexa punctuating it with a sharp thrust into the blonde's ass. Clarke's hips desperately wiggling backwards to find some relief. Lexa took the hint, wrapping one hand in Clarke's hair, tugging gently and her other hand heading south. Sliding between their bodies, rubbing her fingers through Clarke's wetness before plunging two fingers into the blonde without warning.

“Oh, fuck!” Clarke cried, shuddering through the feeling.

Lexa bit her lip, eyes connecting with Clarke's in the mirror and making her hips thrust forward, the motion simultaneously driving her fingers even deeper into the blonde and grinding her own core against the back of her hand. And that did it for Lexa, she let go and started fucking into Clarke like she'd wanted to do since the blonde bent over.

Before long Clarke was crying out with every deep and insistent thrust Lexa was giving her. Both of them rutting like animals, desperate for release. Eye's still connected in the mirror. Both of them so close to release. Their skin slapping at the intense pace.

Lexa groaned at the feeling of Clarke clenching her fingers and pushed even deeper, “Come for me, Clarke.”

“I.. _Lexa_ , fuck!” Clarke cried out as her body responded to Lexa's command.

Clarke's needy pussy tightening considerably around Lexa's fingers, her whole body convulsing. Lexa could tell and _feel_ just how big this particular orgasm was. That's what ultimately pushed Lexa over the edge too, there was nothing sexier to her than Clarke Griffin falling apart in her arms and around her fingers or tongue. She panted against the back of Clarke's shoulder, both of them breathing like they'd just sprinted. Their eyes connected and equally spent expressions on their faces.

“Lex?” Came Raven's voice along with a knock on the door, her friend's voice smug, “What ya up to in there?”

And Lexa gasped, eyes widening. Talking to Raven while she was literally _inside_ Clarke was the last thing she _ever_ wanted to do. She glanced at the position they were in with her mind cleared of the haze of arousal. Clarke bent over the sink, ass on full display. The blonde's dark eyes, still staring at her through the mirror, lips parted. Two of her fingers buried inside Clarke, her other hand tangled in blonde hair. _Fuck_. She really had gotten carried away.

“Just a sec!” Lexa called back, stifling a moan when she felt Clarke giving her fingers a squeeze and glancing up to see the blonde smirking at her through the mirror.

She gently pulled out, helping Clarke stand upright before spinning her and pressing a needy kiss to her lips.

“Please just get in the shower,” Lexa licked her lips, noticing the naughty smile on Clarke's mouth, “Please don't make this any more awkward for me than it's already going to be?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, pulling Lexa in for a kiss before patting her cheek. She watched as the blonde started the shower. She couldn't help but to stare as Clarke's breasts bounced slightly at the movements.

“Good view?” Clarke pulled her out of her stupor, making her blink and meet the smirk on Clarke's face.

“Yeah, I...I should go,” Lexa nodded dumbly, grabbing Clarke around the waist and pressing her mouth to the top of the blonde's breasts, “Just...ugh, let me spend some time with them later, _please_?”

Clarke giggled, pushing Lexa away, “Sure, you can spend as much time as you like with my tits in your mouth later.”

Lexa drew in a stuttered breath to try to calm her raging hormones and doing a decent enough job until a finger was getting hooked into the neck of her shirt and she was getting tugged towards the blonde. Their lips connecting in a dirty kiss, setting her on fire with skilled swipes of Clarke's wicked tongue. Her hand was grabbed and pressed between Clarke's legs, her fingers meeting the sticky heat that was Clarke's arousal. Making her groan.

Clarke's tongue trusting hotly into her mouth one last time before the blonde pulled away. Extracting herself from Lexa completely.

“What was that for?” Lexa breathed out, voice thick with arousal and blinking unfocused eyes.

“To remind you what you're missing out on,” Clarke replied, seductive lilt to her tone and naughty smirk firmly planted, making Lexa whine, “But you have to go, so go.”

Lexa licked her lips, eyes focused on the wink Clarke shot her, “But...”

Clarke's palm came up, giving Lexa's ass a rather painful slap, “Go!”

Lexa nodded dumbly, taking one more, _long_ , look at Clarke's naked body before making her way out of the room. A groan leaving her throat at having to leave the blonde, naked and willing.

She immediately turned red when she saw Raven and Aden sitting at the breakfast bar, arms folded and matching grins. Indra must have left with Anya.

“Let's just _not_ ,” Lexa grumbled.

“Come on! If you're going to start fucking around with us in the house then we,” Raven gestured between her and Aden, “Get to make fun of you for it.”

“Nooo,” Lexa groaned.

"Thems the rules," Raven shrugged with a smirk.

“You just gained like one hundred cool points for that, by the way,” Aden laughed.

Lexa frowned, “And you just lost a hundred for rating me on a points system.”

Aden shrugged, “Just so you know, I'm an innocent young boy so you need to think about that before you decide to hump your girlfriend in the same vicinity of me.”

“She isn't- I didn't- _nothing_ happened.”

“We'd believe you,” Raven teased, “If it weren't for _one_ thing.”

“What?” Lexa frowned.

“The bathroom isn't soundproof,” Raven laughed.

“And Clarke is _loud_ ,” Aden added.

“Yeah,” Raven nodded, “Either you two were fucking _or_ you just murdered Clarkey and those were actually cries for help...which Aden and I ignored...because we were focused on Googling science jokes.”

Lexa groaned, face palming and turning even redder as she made her way over to the pair.

“On the bright side,” Aden patted her back, a sympathetic look on his face, “We found some great ones.”

“That, we did,” Raven said, sliding off her stool and heading for the coffee pot, “Seriously though, _did_ you murder Clarke?”

“No!” Lexa shook her head, “She's showering.”

Raven sent her a smirk, eyebrows wiggling suggestively and making Lexa sigh, “I bet she is.”

“Shut up,” Lexa grumbled, bumping shoulders with Aden, “Do you want to go to the park or what?”

“I sure do,” Aden nodded enthusiastically, jogging over to his backpack and pulling out a soccer ball, waving it towards Lexa in question, “How about it?”

Lexa didn't miss the challenge in his tone, she grinned, “Oh you are _so_ on.”

It was a race to put their shoes on, pushing and tugging at each other in jest as they laughed and waved goodbye to Raven. They were only half way out the door when Aden stopped her with a hand on her arm and a grin spread across his face.

“Never trust an atom, Lexa,” Aden said, expression serious, “They make up everything.”

It was stupid. _So_ stupid but Lexa was laughing anyway.

\- - - - - - - - - -

“And he scores _again_!” Aden whooped, voice perfectly imitating a commentator as he jogged around in a circle. Fist pumping the air and sporting a wide grin.

Lexa rolled her eyes. _Of course_ she was getting beat by her little brother. She was out of breath, sweaty and a bit of a sore loser. Whatever. She shrugged it off, making her way over to the blanket they'd set out and smiling at the blankets occupant. Madison didn't smile back, too preoccupied with coloring to pay Lexa any attention. Still, at least Madison hadn't taken off her cap. _That_ had been a struggle. The toddler didn't seem to care about sunburn quite as much as Lexa did and only agreed to wear a hat at all once Aden had offered her his baseball cap, making the toddler go wide eyed.

“How are you doing, little one?” Lexa asked, sinking down next to the little brunette.

Madison hardly acknowledged her presence, clearly _very_ busy. Lexa sighed, flopping down on her back, smiling a moment later when Aden joined her. Both of their heads near Madison's coloring book. From this position she could see Madison's face pinched in concentration, the too big cap looking lopsided. It made her smile. They were having a great day, the three of them. Relaxing in the sunshine and playing ball, something Madison had given up on very quickly. The moment the toddler had fallen and gotten dirty hands, Lexa knew that Madison was done with _that_ nonsense.

It was perfect. She could do this forever, family time. She felt like that's what this was. Aden, of course, he was her brother. And Madison, sometimes she couldn't help but wish Madison was _her_ daughter. She loved Madison with her whole heart. It _hurt_ her every time she had to give Madison back. She felt like she was made for this. For Saturdays in the park, kids, sunshine and smiles.

“Look,” Aden's hand shot up, pointing towards the clouds, “That one kinda looks like a lion.”

“Yeah,” Lexa grinned, following the trajectory of his finger before pointing to another, “And that kinda looks like Donald Trump.”

“Donald Trump? No it doesn't,” She could hear the disbelief in his voice and it made her laugh.

“Overly white and full of water, looks like him to me.”

“Lexa!” Aden laughed, clutching his sides, “Anya's right, you're such a dork!”

“Takes one to know one!” She retaliated, turning her head to the side to stick her tongue out at him and getting a giggle in response.

“Can I ask your advice, Lex?”

She pursed her lips, nodding her head.

“Well...I'd ask Anya but you know how she can be, well, _Anya_.”

Lexa laughed, “Yeah, I get it. I won't make fun of you.”

“There's this girl,” Aden sighed.

Oh. She wasn't expecting _that_.

“It's just...how do you know if someone likes you?”

Lexa turned her head, searching her brother's face and letting out a deep breath, “That's a tough one. It's easier when you're into boys, boys make that sort of thing more obvious but girls? I don't know, buddy. Have you talked to her?”

“Eh,” Aden shrugged, “I sat next to her on a school trip...but it was arranged seating.”

She watched her brother visibly deflate, “You know what, the best thing to do is to just ask her on a date.”

Aden's mouth fell open, a frown coming to his face, “Are you mad?”

“Listen, girls like confidence right?” She asked with a cocked eyebrow.

“Confidence, why is it always confidence? Why can't girls like socially awkward and kinda dorky?” He grumbled.

Lexa laughed, “You only have to be confident enough to actually ask.”

“Lessa.”

She turned to see Madison staring at her, blue eyes blinking and mouth wide open. Lexa knew what _that_ meant. She smiled, grabbing an apple from her bag and handing it to the toddler, who frowned at the object like a puzzle.

“You start it,” Madison pouted, holding out the offending object. Cap almost sliding off before Lexa caught it.

“Right, sorry,” Lexa grabbed the apple, taking a bite and handing it back, “There you go.”

“Thank you,” Madison nodded, going back to her drawing while humming against the apple as she took little nibbles.

“Think about it,” Lexa turned back to Aden, chewing thoughtfully, “You ask her out, on a date. If she says yes then score, you've got a date.”

“And if she says no?” Aden asked, dubious look on his face.

“Then you know she isn't interested and you can move on, there's no point pining for a girl that isn't interested in you, you know?”

“That...” Aden frowned thoughtfully, “Actually makes a lot of sense. The worst thing that could happen is she makes fun of me but if she did that then I wouldn't want to be with someone that would do that anyway.”

“That's my boy,” Lexa winked, leaning over to give Aden a high five, “What's she like anyway?”

“She's- oh my God!”

Lexa turned to see Aden, eyes and mouth wide open and Madison looking down at him with a tiny smile on her face, pen poised on his cheek. Lexa burst out laughing, seeing the purple line running from his forehead to the tip of Madison's pen.

Madison's eyes met hers, a giggle leaving the toddlers mouth, “Pretty Aden.”

They all laughed.


	15. Boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 for Zee
> 
> Thank you for your comments, each and every comment means the world to me.
> 
> I love the titanic comment! And like the titanic, in this chapter, Clarke's going down. ;)
> 
> WARNING: Shexuals things happen.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy...

**15\. Boyfriend?**

“Please, please, _please,_ ” Aden whined, giving Indra his best puppy dog face.

Indra raised an unimpressed eyebrow, “You want me to let you go to an adult party?”

“Yeah but...Lex and Ahn will be there and...and even if they're crap then I'm _sure_ Clarke and Raven will look after me. _Mom_ , please!” He begged, dropping to his knees and pulling his hands together in a prayer.

“This is your fault,” Indra threw a scolding look at the sisters, pointing a finger at Lexa, “You for mentioning your little party! And you,” She pointed at Anya, “For teaching him how to cuss!”

They sisters both grinned sheepishly, sharing a glance before Lexa stuck her foot out, poking at Aden with her toes, “Don't be so melodramatic, bro. You're getting us in trouble.”

“Yeah,” Anya agreed with a groan, “If you don't shut up then Indra won't let _us_ go to the party either.”

“Don't give her ideas,” Lexa hissed, elbowing her sister in the ribs.

“Don't tempt me,” Indra huffed.

Raven and Clarke entering the house in that moment, carrying crates of beer, _did not_ help one bit. Anya's palm met her forehead and Lexa sighed.

“Hope you're ready, bitches, cause we gonna par-tay!”

“Raven!” Clarke nudged her cousin, sending her a warning glance and pulling Raven's attention to the _scene_ Aden was making.

“Hey, Mrs W, you gonna party with us?” Raven asked, grin never leaving her face.

“See, mom?! Raven says we can party-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Raven held up a hand after unloading her crate to Anya, “Sorry, Aden but _you_ are not invited.”

“What?” Aden gasped in outrage, scrambling up from his knees and turning his full attention to Raven, “Why?”

Raven cocked her hip to the side, planting a hand on it, “The ladies couldn't handle it, wonder boy. You're too much of a player.”

“Come on!” Aden cried, “I happen to be a feminist! Like...” He looked around the room in exasperation before his eyes fixed on Clarke, “Take Clarke for example. Society is pressurizing girls like her to wear make up and I happen to think that it's a ridiculous beauty standard and I'm sure Clarke would look just a good without it!”

He glanced around the room, noting unamused expressions everywhere he turned.

Clarke cocked her head to the side, “I'm not wearing any make up.”

“You...” Aden's eyes widened, “You're not?”

Clarke shook her head.

“Holy crap, you're beautiful!”

Everyone laughed. And Lexa couldn't help but take a moment to appreciate the people in this room. _Her_ people. Her mom, sister, brother, friend and lover. And she loved every single one of them in one way or another.

Raven ruffled Aden's hair, “Alright, _Casanova_. Look, give it a few years and you can come to all the Raven Reyes parties you want, okay?”

Aden slumped, a defeated look on his face along with a _serious_ pout, “Fine.”

“Now that we've settled _that_ ,” Indra said with an eye roll, “How about a ride back to the hotel?”

\- - - - - - - - - -

The party, as expected, had a great turn out. Lexa liked most of Raven's friends with the exception, _of course_ , being Kyle Wick. But thankfully he wasn't invited. She was happy to see Anya and Echo laughing together, even if they'd stopped sleeping together, she knew that Anya got on really well with Echo. She was glad they could be friends.

Harper and Monty were such a good couple, in Lexa's opinion. She loved being around them, they weren't the party hard types. Not like Raven anyway, Raven was the type to strip off naked and jump into their neighbor's pool or end the night confessing her love to total strangers. Harper and Monty were more the 'let's relax in the corner, share some wine and discuss some culture' types and Lexa really enjoyed that. She was glad to have that respite between getting forced into taking shot with Anya and getting forced into dancing with Raven.

She enjoyed spending time with Jackson and Miller too. As they shot flirty but shy glances at each other while ignoring Raven making obscene gestures at them. They really should, if she were going to use Raven's terminology, just fuck already. They were clearly into each other but something was stopping them. Not that Lexa knew what that was, it wasn't her business, she just enjoyed their company.

The difference between this party and the other 'Raven Reyes parties' that she'd attended was Clarke. Usually the blonde was off doing her own thing. Hardly sparing Lexa or Raven, for that matter, a second glance. But this time she hovered close to Lexa. Sharing smiles with her and occasionally bumping their hips together and pointing out someone doing something funny or dumb to make Lexa laugh. That's how she found herself at the drinks table, filling two cups with rum as Clarke giggled softly next to her. That was, until Clarke's friends arrived.

“Hey, Girff,” Bellamy grinned cheesily, hanging all over Clarke and making the blonde groan, “You're looking mighty fine tonight.”

“Not with a thousand condoms, Bell,” Clarke rolled her eyes, sharing a look with Octavia.

“Right!” Bellamy slapped his hands together, “I have to go.”

“Where?” Octavia frowned.

“To the store,” Bellamy answered as if it was obvious, “To purchase a thousand and one condoms.”

 _That_ earnt him slaps from Clarke _and_ Octavia while Lexa smirked into her red solo cup.

Clarke disappeared with Bellamy and Octavia for a bit after that. Sending Lexa an exasperated look over her shoulder as her friends pulled her away and into the crowd. Lexa didn't mind, she liked seeing Clarke happy and she liked that Clarke was so close with her friends. It wasn't until a while later, as she was sitting on the couch, recovering from another dance session with Raven that Clarke found her again. Walking towards her with Octavia trailing after her.

“Lexa!” Clarke grinned, throwing her arms around Lexa's neck and sliding onto her lap, clearly more tipsy than when Lexa had last seen her.

Lexa's eyes widened, throwing a worried glance towards Octavia as Clarke pressed a wet kiss to her cheek, “ _Clarke_.”

“What?” Clarke asked, pulling away with a confused expression on her face, glancing in the direction of Lexa's gaze and rolling her eyes, “Don't mind her, she's my best friend.”

“But-”

She was cut off when Clarke sent her a pointed look, “Seriously, Lex. It's fine. I promise I'll keep my hands off you if Niylah shows up but until then...”

Clarke's smile turned naughty, her hand smoothing from Lexa's neck to her cleavage.

“Okay!” Octavia's hand shot out, pulling Clarke's fingers away from Lexa's chest from where she was sitting in front of them on the coffee table, “I know you're a pervert, Griff but let's save that for later, okay?”

“Why?” Clarke pouted.

Octavia rolled her eyes, “C'mon, I don't need to witness you feeling people up. Anyway, I have gossip.”

Clarke's face morphed into a grin, leaning towards Octavia and making Lexa's arms coming up around her to steady her when she nearly toppled, “Spill.”

“Is Raven still with Kyle?” Octavia asked with a mischievous grin.

“You mean Wick the dick?” Lexa chuckled, making Clarke shoot her smile.

“Good one,” Octavia laughed, nudging at Lexa's leg, “So, is she?”

The blonde frowned with a shrug, “I don't think so but if she is then it's only casual. Why?”

“Because,” Octavia lowered her volume, “I heard that he slept with Harper last weekend.”

“What? No way, Harper would _never_ do that to Monty-”

“I know! Which means, Kyle's been making shit up and boasting about-”

“Hey!” Bellamy butted in, sliding an arm over Octavia's shoulders with a grin.

“Go away, Bellamy,” Octavia hissed, frowning at her brother.

“What?” Bellamy looked taken aback, “But I wanna join in.”

“Fine,” Clarke rolled her eyes at the boy, “We're discussing which brand of tampon is best for a heavy flow, thoughts?”

Bellamy took a second to see the challenging rise of Clarke's eyebrow before a blush came to his face. He held up his hands in defense and shuffled off, jerking his thumb towards the kitchen before disappearing all together.

“So you think that Wick's been spreading rumors?”

“Well what else would it be?” Octavia rolled her eyes, “All I'm saying is that he better watch out because one of these days all the shit he pulls is going to catch up with him.”

The though carried them through the next couple of minutes as Clarke rested her head against Lexa's shoulder. Clarke and Octavia seeming to have a silent conversation in the form of some serious eyes contact until Clarke sighed and Octavia got up, extending her hand out to the blonde.

“Come on, Lincoln isn't here yet so you can be my dance partner until he is,” Octavia smiled, Clarke groaned in protest, snuggling further into Lexa before Octavia shot her a dirty look, “I swear to God, Clarke. You shouldn't of invited me to this fucking party if you were just going to spend the entire time trying to get into our teacher's pants. No offence, Miss Woods.”

Lexa cringed, “Jesus, please call me Lexa.”

Octavia nodded, smiling at Lexa and taking Clarke's hand, pulling Clarke up with the dramatic effect of Clarke sagging her body. Making Octavia groan in the effort, “You can have your play thing back later, Griff. Now it's time to shake that booty!”

Lexa couldn't help but laugh at their antics. Especially as she watched Octavia land a sharp slap to Clarke's ass as she pushed her towards the dance floor.

An hour later found Lexa sitting at the breakfast bar, drink in hand and Clarke, Octavia and Lincoln gathered around her. It was the first time she'd really spent any time with Lincoln and he seemed like a great guy. Quiet but great. And she couldn't help but to notice the similarities between Lincoln and herself as they simultaneously blended into the back ground and watched as Clarke and Octavia gossiped about their school mates. She hardly paid attention until Octavia leant closer to Clarke and lowered her voice.

“Do you think she's trying to make you jealous?” Octavia asked, nodding her head towards where Niylah was dancing, _grinding_ , against Echo on the make shift dance floor.

Clarke shrugged nonchalantly, taking a sip of beer, “She can do whatever she likes, it isn't going to effect me.”

“Ontari told me, that Lilly told Shay, that Niylah told her, that you're in love with her but you're not ready for a relationship.”

“Wait, _what_?” Clarke frowned.

“So,” Bellamy swooped in, grin big and Lexa thought it was becoming a bit of a habit, “What are we discussing now? Is it boy friendly?”

“Clarke's got a rash on her vag,” Octavia supplied, eyes never leaving Clarke's, “She was just about to show us.”

“Oh...uh...” Bellamy swallowed, clearly uncomfortable, “I think someone just called my name.”

He was gone in the next moment.

“Why do I always have to be the only with the vaginal rash?” Clarke grumbled to herself.

Octavia rolled her eyes, “Do you _really_ want me to answer that?”

Clarke shot her a pointed look before focusing back on the topic at hand, “ _Anyway_ , what the fuck did Niylah say? That I'm _in love_ with her?”

“Yep,” Octavia nodded, popping the 'p'.

“Well I'm _not_ ,” Clarke bit, shooting a dirty look towards the dance floor.

“ _I_ know,” Octavia rolled her eyes, “But maybe you should try telling _her_ that.”

“I can't. She was really supportive when she found out about...” Clarke trailed of, eyes flitting to Lexa, then Lincoln before tipping her head back and chugging half of her beer.

“Yeah, well,” A scowl came to Octavia's face, “But that doesn't mean it's okay for her to do what she's doing. Supportive or not, she shouldn't be pressuring you into a relationship with her and she definitely shouldn't be spreading rumors about you being in love with her.”

Clarke shrugged, her attention focused on picking the label off her beer bottle, “She'll get the message eventually.”

“Yeah,” Octavia scoffed, “That'll happen about the same time as you, me and Lincoln enter into a polygamous relationship and we become sister wives.”

Clarke chuckled, leaning into Lexa's side.

\- - - - - - - - - -

“You know...” Raven mused, “When I was growing up, I wanted to be a DJ.”

“What?”

The four of them had ended up in the back yard. Her, Anya, Raven and Clarke. Raven leading them out there and producing a couple of marijuana cigarettes with an eyebrow wiggle. They were long gone now. And it left them laying in a circle with their heads all pressed together in the middle, staring up at the stars.

“I had a DJ name and everything,” Raven continued, “DJ Rave'n.”

“That's...actually a really cool name,” Anya said with an impressed tone that made Lexa and Clarke giggled.

“Clarkey wanted to be a hair stylist, own her own salon,” Raven chuckled, “Clarke's blowies.”

“Oh my fucking God!” Anya yelped a laugh.

“Sign me up!” Lexa chuckled, earning a swat from the blonde.

“How come...” Raven mumbled, “People run from the rain... _but_...they sit in bathtubs full of water?”

Clarke giggles, pressing her face into Lexa's hair, “Maybe they wouldn't run from the rain if they were already naked?”

“Mhm, _or_ ,” Lexa continued, “They'd run...if they were in the tub fully clothed?”

“Fuck,” Raven laughed, “I never thought about it like that.”

“I once had a boyfriend the thought when it rained it was God taking a leak,” Anya supplied, making Clarke and Lexa laugh.

“Boyfriend?” Raven asked, voice dripping with doubt, “ _Boy_ -friend?”

“Which one was that?” Lexa asked, hand absent-mindedly coming up to stroke Clarke's cheek.

“Scott, remember the one that thought 'trust me' was a sensible birth control option, then I kicked him in the dick?”

“Oh, yeah,” Lexa laughed, “He was so fucking dumb.”

“He was still better than _your_ last girlfriend, what's-her-face, the ugly one.” Anya argued.

Lexa rolled her eyes, “She wasn't _that_ bad.”

“She called you Lexie and she tried to get you to dye your hair purple,” Anya scoffed, “Your tastes have _dramatically_ improved, squid.”

It was silent for few moments, Lexa scowling and Clarke beaming. Anya rolling her eyes. And Raven...

 _“Anya?_ Anya had a _boyfriend_?”

She enjoyed it. Getting baked with her friends, it felt so juvenile. It reminded her of the high school days, with Anya constantly getting into trouble for letting Lexa join in with her and her _cool_ friends.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She didn't, however, enjoy watching Clarke dirty dance with Harper.

It was irrational, she knew. But seeing Clarke grinding her ass into Harper's crotch as the other girl ran her hands over Clarke's stomach, got to her. It wasn't like Clarke and Harper were a thing, Harper was in a happy, committed, _heterosexual_ relationship after all. But there was something about watching her girl doing body rolls with a sexy smile planted on her lips that irked Lexa.

Her head span. When _the hell_ did she start to think of Clarke as _her_ girl? Clarke wasn't hers, not at all. That's why it was so irrational for her to be jealous, _not jealous_ , of Clarke and Harper dancing. Even if there was something going on between them, it wouldn't be any of Lexa's business.

As some boys hollered and made cat calls due to the slow grind of Clarke and Harper's hips, Lexa needed to cool off. So she went outside to stop her head spinning.

She was so focused on her consuming thoughts that she didn't notice Clarke coming up behind her until Clarke's arms were wrapped around her neck and Clarke's breath was in her ear. She could smell the sweetness of wine on Clarke's breath.

“You better be sharing my bed tonight,” Clarke whispered, tone dripping with sex as her teeth met Lexa's earlobe.

“Are you sure you don't want to share with Harper instead?” Lexa asked, still annoyed.

Clarke's chuckle felt warm against her cheek and the blonde's arms squeezed her tighter, “Jealous?”

“No, I... _fuck_ ,” Lexa let out a deep breath, “I don't know.”

For a moment it was silent. She thought Clarke might leave but the arms around her neck didn't loosen and she took some comfort in that. The warmth of Clarke's body pressing into her back was grounding for Lexa.

“You're in love with me, aren't you?”

 _Fuck_. Her eyes squeezed shut. She was positive that Clarke would never ask her that, sober. Clarke wouldn't bring up something like _that_. But here she was, saying it like it was nothing. She felt Clarke's body heat leave her. The feel of cool air on her back making her shiver in more ways than one. But then Clarke's hand was in front of her face and her eyes travelled up the arm until they reached Clarke's face. The blonde cocked her head to the side.

“C'mon,” She said, nodding to her outstretched hand, “Let's go to bed.”

Lexa nodded, face stoic and feeling slightly nauseous but she took the hand anyway. Letting Clarke tug her inside. In reality, she'd let Clarke tug her anywhere.

\- - - - - - - - - -

They stumbled into the room, Clarke letting out a bark of a laugh when Lexa tripped trying to kick the door shut with her foot. The next moment, taking Clarke with her as she fell to the ground. Landing with a thump and Clarke crashing on top of her heavily. Making her groan in pain. She pouted as Clarke laughed.

Clarke's hands fisted her hair, “Are you okay?”

“Kiss is better,” Lexa pouted, batting her eyelashes and making Clarke giggle.

“Idiot,” Clarke muttered directly into Lexa's mouth as she planted a messy kiss.

Lexa hummed into it, hands landing on Clarke's hips.

“Lex,” Clarke groaned, planting a hand on Lexa's face to push her away, “You need to fuck me before I lose my erection.”

The serious look on the blonde's face made Lexa burst out laughing. Her fit of giggles apparently contagious as Clarke joined in, mouth pressed to Lexa's throat.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Clarke pulled away, wiping where her mouth had been, “I drooled on you.”

“You're _so_ sexy,” Lexa giggled, smoothing Clarke's hair back.

Clarke pouted, wiggling her hips, “C'mon, Lexa. Do me.”

“That's the most _romantic_ thing anyone has ever said to me,” Lexa laughed.

“Shut up,” Clarke grumbled, giggling against Lexa's skin.

“I _love_ your ass,” Lexa grinned, squeezing said ass into her hands, “I could play with it all day.”

Clarke giggled, wiggling her butt into Lexa's palms, “Coming from _you_. Your ass is practically perfect.”

“What?” Lexa cocked her head, staring up at the blonde.

“Fact,” Clarke nodded, “Everyone knows it.”

“Come on,” Lexa rolled her eyes, “Your ass is better than my face.”

It was Clarke's turn to roll her eyes, “And you call Aden melodramatic.”

Lexa groaned, “Don't bring up my fourteen year old brother while we are...nearly doing it but we're too drunk to move.”

“You're not too drunk to move, I have faith in you.”

“Okay,” Lexa gave her a determined nod, clumsily flipping them over, accidentally hitting Clarke's head against the floor, “Oh, shit. Are you okay?”

Clarke gave her the most exaggerated pout she'd ever seen, “Kiss it better.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, pressing her lips against Clarke's.

Clarke blinked up at her, a mocking lilt coming to her voice, “Fuck me, _Lexie_.”

Lexa laughed but let Clarke pull her back in. It grew heated quickly. There was nothing sexy about it, in their drunken stupor. Teeth clashing, way too much tongue and _way_ off any sort of rhythm. Their clothes went next, unceremoniously getting peeled off. Hands tugging clumsily and falling into each other every other second. It took a while, way longer than usual. But they shared giggles every time their limbs clashed painfully.

Eventually they were bare.

After while of sloppy kisses, it was Lexa who decided to move them to the bed. Clumsily pulling them up before they fell back onto the bed in a fit of giggles. Clarke landing on Lexa heavily, her elbow connecting harshly with Lexa's gut and making her grunt. Clarke just rolled her eyes, capturing Lexa's mouth in a heated kiss. Lexa's fingers wandered up Clarke's thigh before the blonde pulled away.

“Wait!” Clarke left the kiss and leant over to reach into the draw of her bedside table.

Lexa groaned, it was an awkward angle and Clarke's chest was directly on her face. And not in a good way, in a 'you're suffocating me' way as the blonde stretched over. But then Clarke was back with a wicked grin and holding up a bright purple dildo. Lexa frowned, eyeing the phallic looking toy.

“Where did you get that?”

“Gag gift from Raven,” Clarke explained, “She got it for me when I broke up with Finn, said it was going to be my new boyfriend.”

Lexa chuckled, “What is it with you and bringing up family members when we're in bed?”

“Do you want to fuck me with it or not?” Clarke asked, unimpressed expression on her face.

“Yes, please,” Lexa nodded with a dopey grin.

“Put it in,” Clarke slurred, shifting her hips to try and make room.

“Are you even wet enough yet?”

“Lexa,” Clarke shot her a condescending look, “Have I ever _not been wet enough_?”

Well, Clarke had her there. Clarke was always ready when Lexa touched her. She briefly wondered if she had anything to do with it or if Clarke was just naturally very horny. But soon shook those thoughts out of her head when her mind wandered to Clarke walking around with constantly soaked underwear and how that would certainly cause some chaffing issues. She didn't need to think about chaffing, she needed to think about giving Clarke a good dicking with the plastic dick in her hand.

“Wait, let me do you first,” Clarke grabbed the toy before heading south and settling once she'd reached her destination between Lexa's spread thighs.

Lexa hummed, staring up at the ceiling. She felt the smooth edge of the toy being pressed against her, poking her in the least sexy way she could imagine and it made her laugh. Looking down at Clarke, she could see the look of concentration on the blonde's face. Deciding to help Clarke along, Lexa spread her legs further apart, lifting up one foot and resting against the blonde's shoulder. A gentle sigh leaving her mouth as the movement caused the toy to slide through her heat.

Clarke rubbed the toy against Lexa, aiming for her clit but missing it in her drunken stupor. Instead the toy slid through Lexa's slippery folds easily. And Lexa couldn't complain, it felt good and she got into the new feeling, rolling her hips upward to help the toy along. It made her wetter but then she could feel it probe at her entrance entirely too soon.

It made her gasp when Clarke pushed it forward, into her. It was a little bigger than anything she was used to. She'd never really used toys, never seen the point. But she trusted Clarke and she definitely wanted to use the object on the blonde. The mere thought turned her on. Images of the toy deep inside of Clarke, in numerous positions flooded her brain. Exciting her enough to make Clarke's ministrations smoother. The toy sliding deeper and deeper into her as she moaned long and low.

“Fuck,” Clarke groaned, “It's so fucking hot, seeing it all the way inside you.”

Lexa sighed out, her brain too foggy to form a response as she started to grind down onto the toy. Every movement of her hips giving her a delicious new press against her sensitive walls. She watched with hooded eyes as Clarke started to shallowly thrust the toy, the blonde's attention sharply focused between Lexa's legs. Lexa's hand made it's way into blonde locks, too far gone to care as she pressed Clarke's head towards her. Moaning a second later when Clarke got the message and attached her mouth to Lexa's clit, giving it a strong suck.

That attention alone pushed Lexa into an unsuspecting climax, the foreign feeling of her cunt clenching against the intrusion making it that much more intense. Her eyes squeezing shut as she let herself go, tugging on blonde hair and bucking into the toy and Clarke's mouth.

Still shaking from her orgasm, Lexa opened her eyes only to chuckle at the view she had of Clarke, pouting at her like a three year old. The blonde's face showing nothing but disappointment.

“If I wanted premature ejaculation then I'd be hooking up with Bellamy,” Clarke grumbled.

Lexa groaned, hand coming up to press against her face, “Do you really have to mention Bellamy right now? While your _fucking_ me with a dildo?”

Clarke giggled, a smirk coming to her face as she pulled the toy from Lexa, making Lexa gasp in the process. And then Lexa watched, mouth falling open, as Clarke lowered her head and took the toy into her mouth. The toy, covered in Lexa's come, disappearing between plump lips. Lexa couldn't look away, she thought it might be the sexiest thing she'd ever seen. When Clarke's blue eyes met hers, she couldn't take it anymore.

“Come here,” She growled.

Clarke, releasing the toy from her mouth with a soft pop, giggled. Shaking her head at Lexa before pushing Lexa's legs together and placing the toy, sticking up rudely towards the ceiling, between Lexa's clenched thighs.

“I want to ride it,” Clarke explained.

Lexa nodded enthusiastically, grabbing Clarke's hips as soon as Clarke was situating herself over Lexa. Clarke's hands shooting between them to guide the toy inside. And Lexa watched. Watched as a gasp fell from Clarke's lips as she bottomed out on the toy. Watched as Clarke threw her head back and began to ride it. Watched as Clarke body rolled and rode, baring down on the phallic object like a pro.

And she was wrong before, _this_ was the sexiest thing she'd ever see.

Lexa was mesmerized, hardly able to gather her thoughts as words slipped from her mouth, “Fuck, Clarke. Ride my cock. Take it.”

“You've got a filthy mouth when you're drunk, talk dirty to me,” Clarke moaned, leaning down and mouthing her neck.

“Um...I, uh...love your cunt?” Lexa mumbled lamely, eyes glued to Clarke's bouncing tits as the blonde sat up to continue her ride.

Clarke, cocking her head to the side, shot her an unamused look, “Cunt?”

Lexa grinned sheepishly, “Pussy?”

Clarke searched her face for a second before shrugging, pulling Lexa to her lips, “That'll do.”

“Fuck,” Lexa moaned into her mouth, tasting herself, “I love your pussy.”

And Clarke pushed Lexa back down with an eye roll, planting her hands on Lexa's chest and slamming her hips down as hard and fast as she could. Lexa couldn't help but to fix her eyes on the toy disappearing into Clarke. And she continued to watch as Clarke's hips faltered, breath came out uneven and thighs began to shake.

“Fuck!” Clarke cried, eyes rolling into the back of her head before collapsing on Lexa's chest. Panting against Lexa's neck.

They laid like that, still, as Clarke came down from her high. Lexa's fingers raking up and down the blonde's back.

“Clarke?” Lexa said softly after a long few minutes, “Do you want to, you know, _dismount_?”

But all she received was a soft snore from the blonde that made her smile.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She woke up feeling like _death_. Her head was pounding, her mouth was dry and her throat felt raw. Had she been swallowing fire or something? It wouldn't surprise her. She _swore_ that she'd never get that drunk or stoned again. _Except_ , it probably would. It would probably happen again. Probably once the memory of feeling like _this_ faded.

She scrubbed a hand down her face, groaning at the sticky feeling of dried sweat on her skin. And reached out beside her blindly, hoping to come into contact with Clarke. She remembered going to bed with the blonde. She remembered laughing between kisses, naked flesh flush together and the hard objects pressing into the side of her knee was a _definite_ reminder of last nights activities.

Her hand met nothing but bed and she opened her eyes, hissing at the pain the brightness sent shooting to her head. She was in Clarke's room, like she thought but the blonde was no where to be seen. Her attention was pulled by Clarke's voice outside the room, speaking in hushed tones. She pulled herself out of bed pulling on one of Clarke's fluffy robes and following the blonde's voice into the kitchen.

Clarke was on the phone, pressing the object tightly to her ear as she paced the length of the kitchen. Face pinched in anger, it was quite a sight. Clarke's hair piled on the top of her head in a messy bun and wearing only an oversized shirt. The conversation was clearly heated, if Clarke's low and threatening tone was anything to go by.

“I don't _fucking_ care!” Clarke hissed, throwing her free hand out in front of her in exasperation, “I'm under eighteen, _you_ have to sign for them.”

“ _No, I won't do it,”_ Came the voice on the other end.

The voice was the same as it always was, the woman Lexa assumed was Clarke's mother. She watched as Clarke gritted her teeth painfully

“You signed for them last month, you had _no_ problem then-”

“ _Clarke, I've been thinking about it and you don't need them.”_

Clarke stopped in her tracks, nostrils flaring in anger and jaw set. She noticed Lexa standing by her bedroom door and shot her a glare.

“I _obviously_ fucking need them,” Clarke's tone was low, dangerous.

“ _I am a doctor, you know? And I'm perfectly capable of deciding what you should and shouldn't be taking.”_

“You're kidding right? I need them _because_ of you!”

“ _The answer is no, Clarke. You won't be taking antidepressants anymore. I'm your mother and I-”_

“No you're not,” Clarke let out a humorless laugh, the empty sound travelling the length of Lexa's spine, “You're _no one's_ mother.”

In the next moment Clarke's phone was sailing through the air, smashing upon contact with the wall. And Clarke sank to the ground. Fingers threaded through her hair, tugging as her tears fell.

“ _Clarke_ ,” Lexa was on the knees a second later, reaching for the blonde.

But when her hand landed on Clarke's shoulder, she was shrugged off. Clarke's angry, blue eyes fixed on her.

“I'm fine,” Clarke growled, fat tears spilling down her cheeks and eyes three shades lighter because of it.

“Clarke, _please_ , let me help-”

“I don't _want_ your help, Lexa,” Clarke stood with a snarl.

Lexa rose to her feet quickly, suddenly feeling naked wearing only Clarke's robe and definitely taken aback by the blonde's behavior. Her teeth sank into her lower lip.

“I'm sorry,” She spoke tentatively, taking a careful step towards Clarke, “I know you're upset, I-”

“No, you don't,” Clarke spat, rounding on her and take three, threatening steps towards her, “You have _no_ idea about any of it, Lexa. You have _no_ clue.”

“You're right,” Lexa's eyes widened, taking a step back and hitting the counter behind her, “But I do care, Clarke. I don't want you to be unhappy.”

Clarke was in her face a second later. Face venomous. Finger pointing into Lexa's chest. Bringing their faces only an inch apart. So close that Lexa could see the little specks of different shades of blue in Clarke's eyes. She swallowed thickly.

“You _care_?” Clarke hissed, “We're just fucking, Lexa. _Nothing_ else.”

Lexa blanched, heart thudding in her chest, “You _know_ I care about you.”

“So what? You think you're going to get some fucked up, happy ending with me? That I'm going to fall _madly_ in love with you?” Clarke mocked, “I won't.”

The words stung. As did the cold glare in Clarke's blue eyes. She wanted to run, she wanted to _cry_ but she couldn't. Not with Clarke trapping her against the counter. She let out a breath, keeping her eyes on blue. She needed to hold her ground. She could _cry_ later.

“Okay,” Lexa said softly, pursing her lips, “But whatever we are, or _aren't_ , won't change the fact that I care about you.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, tone getting colder, “We aren't _friends_. You're just a fuck to me. That's all you've ever been. Don't you get that?”

Her eyes met the ceiling for a few seconds so that she could gather herself before her eyes met ice, once again, “I get it.”

“Good,” Clarke spat, “And I hope you got your fill because it's over now.”

Lexa nodded dumbly, unable to form words. She just had to keep it together until Clarke backed off. That's it. She repeated it in her head like a mantra, focusing on it along with her beating heart. It wasn't enough for Clarke, the blonde's hand slammed against the cabinet beside her head.

“Do you get it, Lexa? We're _done_.”

Lexa licked her lips, nodding her head, whispering words that she didn't mean, “Okay. We're done.”

She's do anything in that moment to make Clarke okay. To take away Clarke's obvious pain. She wished she knew _how_. Her heart _hurt_ with how much she wished she knew _how_. She'd happily take on Clarke's pain right now if it meant this version of Clarke would have peace.

Gone was the happy, free girl with the big heart and the soft smiles. In her place was _this_. This distant, cold version of the girl that meant so much to her. With cold, empty eyes and hurtful words.

Her hands came up on their own accord, cupping the blonde's face, thumbs brushing away the tears. Her eyes boring into blue, searching, reaching. Begging Clarke to seek strength from her.

“I'm so, _so_ , sorry,” Her voice was barely above a whisper and _so_ full of emotion.

Clarke's eyes fell closed at the words, lower lip quivering.

“Clarke?”

Raven's voice cut through the tension like a knife. Clarke automatically turning towards the sound and giving Lexa the opportunity to slip out from between Clarke's body and the counter. Swiping at the stray tear on her cheek as she brushed passed Raven on the way to the stairs.

“Lexa?”

She ignored Raven calling her name, as well the confused look. Heading straight for the shower, locking the door and getting under the spray as quickly as possible. She wanted, _needed_ , to wash everything away. It was then, under the spray of the shower, sitting on the floor with her knees pulled to her chest that she finally let the sobs escape her.


	16. Don't Leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much!  
> I had a load of great feedback for the last one,  
> I can't explain how much that means to me!  
> Every single positive review just makes my day.  
> <3 for Zeeeeee - you the best.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy...

**16\. Don't Leave**

It took her a while to make herself look decent. Or at least decent enough to hide the fact that she'd been crying. Thank God for concealer, without it she was sure her eyes would still be red rimmed.

Clarke's words had hurt her. Not the words themselves, she wasn't even _that_ sure that Clarke had meant them. She liked to believe that she knew Clarke, even if only a little and the Clarke she knew wouldn't purposefully hurt someone. Clarke wasn't a mean person. Clarke _cared_ about people.

It was Clarke's feelings that hurt Lexa. That there was such pain in Clarke's life, such anguish. Something that would bring tears to those big, blue eyes. Something that made Clarke's eyes empty and cold. That consumed Clarke to the point of snapping, of lashing out.

Still, she should probably find somewhere else to live.

She was supposed to do that a while ago, it just hadn't been a priority. She liked living with Clarke and Raven. And Raven had made it clear on more than one occasion that she didn't want Lexa to find someone else. That she wanted Lexa to stay. So she had.

But now she wasn't so sure. She cussed herself for fucking everything up. If she hadn't of slept with Clarke then none of it would matter. _That_ thought was one that she brushed off quickly. The time she spent with Clarke wasn't something that she'd ever regret. It was special. Maybe not to Clarke. But definitely to her.

So moving out was probably the best, _maybe only_ , option. She doubted that Clarke would want her around now. Clarke was probably eager for her to leave. Not only that, but a part of Lexa wanted to leave too. The part of her with the damaged ego and the part of her that wanted to do anything and everything in her power to make Clarke's life easier. And maybe to do that, meant to leave.

She wondered if she'd still see Clarke. If there would be anymore shared meals around the breakfast bar with more laughter than she ever remembered having before. If there'd be anymore quiet days on the couch, reading silently in each others company. Probably not.

Her mind wandered to the last time Clarke lost control. The drinking, sleeping around and the bumps of coke. The anger that consumed Clarke. Lexa didn't know Clarke very well the last time. She'd had no way to help Clarke, all she could do was watch it unfold.

She didn't feel like she had more to offer this time either. She couldn't make anything _better_ , she could only leave and not add to Clarke's difficulties.

She wasn't in the mood for today. She jut wanted to hide under her comforter, in her pajamas and forget about the world. But she couldn't. Indra and Aden were leaving today. They had time for one more family hang out before they left and Lexa wasn't going to miss _that_. She just hoped that she didn't run into Clarke or Raven on her way out the door.

But, _of course_ , no such luck. She heard Clarke's bedroom door open and close as she made it to the front door. She spun around only to come face to face with Raven. The Latina stood there, arms crossed and a concerned look on her face. When she spoke her tone was sad, worried and tired.

“Lexa...”

“I have to go,” Lexa said quietly, avoiding eye contact and slipping out the door.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She met her family at the park. They'd arrived before her thanks to her detour on her way there to pick up Madison. The thought of going to the park without the toddler not sitting right with her. It felt like it would be a betrayal and if nothing else, Lexa was _loyal_.

That's how she found herself slowly walking through the park. One arm linked with Indra's, her other reached down and hand locked with Madison. Anya on Indra's other side and Aden somewhere behind them, playing with his soccer ball.

And it was a nice day for a stroll, if only she could get Clarke off her mind.

“You're awfully quiet, Lexa,” Indra's voice pulled her from her thoughts.

She blinked, keeping her focus on Madison so that she could avoid eye contact while trying to come up with an excuse. She heard a loud laugh, her eyes shooting to Anya.

“She's hung over, mom,” Anya chuckled, “She got _tanked_ last night.”

And in that moment she remembered why she loved Anya so fucking much. Anya was more than just her sister, Anya was her best friend and Anya knew her better than anyone. And Anya had picked up on her mood and covered for her, no questions asked. Anya didn't even know what was up, she just knew that Lexa wasn't up for talking about it.

And that was who Anya was. Behind the jokes, behind the teasing. Anya had her back, always. She was so grateful for Anya. She really should show her more appreciation.

“You girls give me grey hairs,” Indra huffed, “Aden is so much better behaved than either of you two _ever_ were.”

Lexa and Anya shared a look with matching grimaces before quickly schooling their features to innocence at Indra's unimpressed expression.

In the next moment they heard pelting footsteps fast approaching. Then Madison, who had been toddling next to them quietly, was getting swung into the air by a very over enthusiastic Aden. Her little feet flying through the air. Lexa winced, knowing exactly what was going to happen next. In three, two, one...

A piercing cry ripped through Madison, “Lessa!”

Aden's grin fell in unity with Madison's tears and Madison's feet met the ground once again. Both sets of eyes fixing on Lexa, one pair filled with worry and confusion. The other pair showing nothing but fear.

She gathered Madison into her arms quickly, tucking the toddler into her chest. And Madison clung to her for dear life, sobbing into her neck. She shot Indra and Anya a nod to keep walking, glad when they did, she needed a minute to calm Madison down.

Aden hovered near them, a concerned expression on his face along with an embarrassed blush.

“It's okay, Ade,” Lexa tried to reassure him, “She's okay.”

“What did I do? Did I hurt her?”

“No,” Lexa chuckled, the thought of her brother being capable of hurting een a fly was humorous to her, “She's just a little bit shy so you startled her.”

It was true, Madison was shy. She also wasn't a fan of quick movements. She _hated_ being touched when she wasn't expecting it. And she was _strictly_ against surprises. Lexa was always careful to avoid those things, keeping things quiet and relaxed with the toddler.

“I'm so sorry, Madison,” Aden said.

Madison's sobs turned into hiccups and Lexa could feel the wetness on her neck. Whether it was tears or snot, she wasn't sure. She smoothed her hand against Madison's back.

“You're okay, little one,” She cooed into the toddlers wild hair, “Aden was trying to play with you, he didn't mean to scare you.”

It took a minute but finally Madison's little face peeked out from under Lexa's chin. Eyes big and wet, tear stained cheeks and quivering lip.

“Are you okay?” Aden asked softly, giving the toddler a sheepish smile.

Madison nodded, one of her little hands uncurling from Lexa's shirt to rub at her eyes.

“It's okay, Adey,” She said, voice shaky and sniffling as she spoke.

“I'm sorry,” Aden continued.

Madison nodded again, taking a glance at Lexa, “S'okay, Lessa will show you my duckies.”

Lexa couldn't help but to laugh at the toddler using her in bartering the reconciliation.

“Thanks, Madison,” Aden grinned, “Do you want to walk with me?”

Madison's grip tightened, “Stay with Lessa.”

“Okay,” Aden smiled, grabbing his ball from where it had been previously forgotten about on the grass, “I'm looking forwards to seeing your ducks.”

Lexa smiled as she watched Aden jog to catch up with the others. She took the moment alone with Madison to check in with the toddler, pressing kisses to her wet cheeks.

“You know,” Lexa whispered into an ear, using one arm to hold Madison snug against her chest and the other to gently wipe away the remaining tears, “You're very kind. It's very nice how much you care about others.”

“Mommy taught me,” Madison said, big, blue eyes fixed on Lexa's and a soft expression on her face, “Mommy taught me to be kind.”

Lexa smiled sadly. Her heart breaking for the little girl in her arms. The little girl that's mommy taught her to be kind. She pressed another kiss against Madison's face.

“Your mommy did a very good job then, didn't she?”

Madison nodded, a little smile coming to her face before she snuggled back into Lexa's chest.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Madison's ducks had been a real crowd pleaser and the toddler had shown them off with a small but proud smile from her safe place on Lexa's hip. Rewarding them with a rare giggle once she was satisfied that they were impressed enough.

She'd dropped Madison off on her way home after begrudgingly agreeing to meet her family back at hers, since Indra and Aden wanted to say goodbye to Clarke and Raven before they left. When she got there, they were already there. Indra and Raven sitting on one of the couches while Anya was sprawled out on the other, phone in hand. Indra and Raven laughing and pointing towards Clarke and Aden, who seemed to be in some sort of embrace while Aden held up his phone to take pictures of them.

She avoided Clarke completely, keeping her eyes down until she got to Anya and flopped down next to her sisters feet.

“Awesome,” Aden exclaimed, fist pumping the air as he broke away from Clarke to kneel by the coffee table, eyes on his phone, “Thanks, Clarke.”

“Does that make up for you missing my party?” Raven asked with a grin, wrapping an arm around Clarke's shoulders once the blonde settled next to her.

“Hell yeah,” Aden grinned before shooting Lexa a teasing look, “Besides, I'm pretty sure the only reason I couldn't come was because Lexa was too worried that I'd steal her lady with my wicked dance moves.”

“' _Wicked dance moves_ '?” Anya mocked, sharing a look with Raven.

Aden finished his quip with a wink aimed at Lexa but she struggled to laugh. She hoped her fake smile seemed genuine enough. Her heart dropping to her feet. After a brief glance around the room, she saw that no one else seemed affected. Except Anya, who nudged her and sent her a 'we are so going to talk about this later' look.

“I've had a surprisingly cool time here,” Aden continued with a cheeky grin, “I figured being around a bunch of girls that I would be taking home a maxi pad for show and tell. _But_...you guys are awesome.”

“Aden!” Anya stuck her foot out, kicking him in the leg and causing him to scoot backwards at a rapid pace to get closer to Lexa's legs and out of Anya's reach.

“Yeah,” Raven scoffed before turning to Aden with a grin, “You think we can spare a maxi pad with the three of us under one roof? _Unlikely_.”

“Raven!” Lexa's eyes widened but Raven just waved her off.

“So, you're heading back home after this?” Raven asked, turning to Indra. Nudging Clarke with her foot until Clarke got the message, sliding off the couch and sitting on the floor to give Raven some extra room.

“Yes,” Indra confirmed, “We have a tradition of a family dinner on Sundays and I'd hate to think of my husband heating up a bowl of soup if we didn't make it home.”

“Give Gus _some_ credit,” Anya said, “He could probably fix himself a sandwich if pushed, even if it would be practically inedible.”

“Very funny,” Indra said, expression nothing but scolding, “But if you're going to start to criticize the things your father makes, perhaps you should remember that _you_ are one of them.”

Lexa and Aden shared a look before bursting out laughing, to the point that Aden was rolling on the floor and clutching his belly. Clarke and Raven, who were less used to Indra's smart remarks, just stared at the woman. Their eyes wide and their mouths hanging open.

“Holy shit!” Raven exclaimed, “Fucking _burn_.”

“Shut up,” Anya grumbled and if Lexa didn't know better she could've sworn she saw a blush dusting Anya's cheeks.

“No way!” Raven laughed, “You just got fucking _owned_ , by your _mom_! You think I'm _ever_ going to let you live that down?”

“You'd better,” Anya snarled, “If you ever want a slice of this pie again, that is.”

A gentle chorus of, “Ew,” filled the room, courtesy of Lexa and Clarke who shared an awkward glance a second later.

“Uh, she means that in the most respectful way possible, Indra. I _respectfully_ want a slice of that pie,” Raven gave Indra a sheepish grin before throwing Anya a death glare, “And she better not open her dumb mouth and say anything else if _she_ ever wants a piece of _my_ ass again.”

Anya's mouth, open in preparation of a harsh retort, snapped closed. A pout coming to Anya's face.

“You're a good one, Raven,” Indra chuckled, “Don't hesitate to call me anytime either of my daughters step out of line, I'll set them straight.”

“Yeah, _straight_ , they can do that,” Aden quipped, earning a kick in the butt from Lexa and pulling a face at her in retaliation as he crawled towards the other couch, towards safety.

“Oh, I'll be calling you for more than that, Mrs. W. We have far better things to talk about than Lex and Ahn now that we're best friends,” Raven grinned.

“Wait-”

Anya cut Lexa off, “You have Indra's number?”

Both sisters had matching confused expressions while Aden sniggered, scooting up next to Clarke to share the laugh.

“Uh, yeah,” Raven rolled her eyes, “Duh, you can't be bff's with someone without having their number.”

“We'll talk soon,” Indra chuckled, patting Raven's arm before looking at her watch, “But we must be heading off.”

After some short, _and some long_ , goodbyes, the duo headed for the door. Aden turned when he got to it, sending a pleading look towards the house residents, “Will you guys please come to my soccer tournament? It's my championship game in a few weeks.”

“We are coming, Ade,” Lexa promised, “I might be bringing the baby though-”

“Not you,” Aden brushed her off with a dismissive expression and pointed at Clarke and Raven, “Them.”

“Sure, wonder boy,” Raven grinned, ruffling his hair, “Soccer games have like beer and after parties right?”

Clarke laughed, bumping hips with Raven, “Maybe we can throw an after party for Aden's team.”

“I don't know,” Raven said, tapping her chin in thought, “Are any of your teammates hotties?”

Aden pulled a face, “Eh, sure, if you're into fourteen to sixteen year old college soccer prospectives.”

Raven grinned, sending him a wink, “That's ma jam! You can count Clarke and I in.”

“Yes!” Aden fist pumped the air, “Everyone is going to think I'm so cool when my own, personal cheerleaders turn up.”

Clarke's eyes narrowed after she shared a look with Raven, “Personal cheerleaders, huh? You're not expecting us to wear those stupid outfits are you?”

“Nah,” Aden said with a wave of his hand, “Just something low cut – ow!”

He scowled at Indra as her hand withdrew from smacking him upside the head, “Say goodbye and remember you're a _gentleman_.”

“Sorry,” He grinned sheepishly before throwing his arms around Clarke and Raven, “I love you guys, I'm going to miss you so much!”

Anya, itching her arm, glanced at Lexa, “Are we chopped liver or what?”

\- - - - - - - - - -

She heard the knock on her bedroom door but ignored it, hoping whoever it was would just go away. She'd been in her room, sulking, for hours. Laying on her bed and scrolling through her phone, looking at rental properties nearby.

No suck luck. Raven came into her room, same concerned look on her face that she'd had this morning. Lexa frowned, staying silent even as Raven slid onto the bed next to her.

“Rentals?” Raven asked, eyes darting between Lexa and the phone.

Lexa sighed, putting her phone down with a shrug.

“You don't have to leave, Lexa.”

Lexa swallowed thickly, avoiding Raven's eyes, “I think I do.”

“You don't,” Raven said firmly, “I know it's tough but Clarke-”

A shot of anger ran up Lexa's spine, disbelief taking over her voice, “Did she tell you what she said?”

“Yes, Lexa. She did,” Raven replied with a bite in her tone.

Lexa was taken aback. She'd assumed that Clarke would talk to Raven about it, they were closer than close. But some of the things Clarke said were harsh and Lexa _really_ didn't think the blonde would repeat them to Raven.

“I doubt she'd want me around now,” Lexa said quietly after the silence had stretched too long.

She heard Raven let out a sigh, “Believe me, she wants you around.”

Lexa frowned, “What's that supposed for mean?”

“You got too close and she pushed you away,” Raven said firmly, “ _That's_ what Clarke does.”

“Close?” Lexa scoffed, “Right.”

“You scare her, Lexa.”

“What?” Lexa turned to finally look at her friend, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“How many people do you see sticking around for her, Lex?” Raven said sadly, “You're different, you want her more than once...it freaked her out, okay?”

Lexa's breath got caught in her throat as she mulled over Raven's words. She'd never considered the possibility of Clarke feeling like that. For a moment she wished Clarke could tell her things like she told Raven, the blonde was beyond unreadable. But she knew that wish was out of reach. Clarke was a closed book, one she was _dying_ to read, but closed nonetheless.

Was it really that rare for Clarke to be wanted for more than a hookup? The thought saddened Lexa.

“She isn't ready,” Raven nudged her softly, “Not for anything serious but that doesn't mean you can't be there for her. It doesn't mean you have to go.”

“I don't know,” Lexa breathed out, head spinning, “Wait, Clarke's mom, she said she wouldn't...”

She tailed off, unsure if this was an okay topic or not. But it had been on her mind. She's been thinking about it since she'd heard Clarke's mom on the phone.

“Yeah,” Raven nodded, “Clarke's mom stopped signing for her antidepressants.”

“Can't that be dangerous?” Lexa asked, teeth worrying into her bottom lip.

“It can.”

Lexa glanced at Raven's neutral expression, “So what's going to happen?”

Raven shrugged, “We'll figure something out. Just...don't give up on her okay? She isn't ready for anyone to love her like you do.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Lexa frowned, “That I love her.”

“I wonder,” Raven replied with an amused grin before patting Lexa's leg and getting off the bed, pausing once she'd reached the doorway, “Don't go, Lexa. At least think about it.”

Lexa nodded, watching Raven leave.

\- - - - - - - - - -

The next time her door opened and closed there was no knock and she knew what that meant. Clarke. She was sitting up in bed this time. Bundled in comfy clothes after her shower. She didn't look up but out of the corner of her eye she could see Clarke leaning back against the door. And she could _feel_ the blonde's eyes on her.

She felt the silence as if it were a physical object in the room, sitting on her heavily. Suffocating her. And just when she felt like she couldn't take it anymore, Clarke spoke.

“Don't leave.”

He voice was soft, almost vulnerable and quiet enough to be considered a whisper. The words washed over Lexa like a warm caress, making her recoil. But the sound of Clarke's voice so contrasting to that of last night that her gaze snapped straight to the blonde. Green meeting blue.

And there Clarke was. Looking smaller than ever. Her back pressed to Lexa's door, an unreadable expression on her face. But her eyes looked sad, lost. Like she didn't know which way was up.

Lexa swallowed thickly in an attempt to steady her nerves, “You want me to stay?”

There was a pregnant pause, long enough for Lexa to feel uncomfortable.

“I don't want you to go,” Clarke decided on instead.

And Lexa just knew that in Clarke's mind that was the safer option. They meant the same thing but somehow 'I don't want you to go' was less intimate, less vulnerable than 'I want you to stay'.

Words failed Lexa in that moment, the atmosphere too intense for her mind work properly so she gave Clarke a small nod in response. Clarke lifted her chin, jaw hardening and arms crossing. Walls coming back up in full force.

“You should go on that date with Costia.”

Lexa's heart dropped to her feet, she'd forgotten all about that. She was supposed to cancel but it had completely slipped her mind.

“You knew about that?” Lexa frowned, “ _I_ barely knew about that.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, giving Lexa a pointed look.

“You want me to date Costia?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded sharply, “We...it's been great, Lexa but it's time for you to move on.”

Lexa nodded dumbly, ignoring the pain in her chest, “What if I don't want to?”

It felt like a break up, with more finality than last night. They weren't even together yet it felt like one. But move on? Lexa wasn't sure that she could do that, Clarke had been so consuming to her from the moment they met. From the moment that Clarke had strolled into her life with a dirty quip and a naughty smile.

But Clarke's glare turned colder, “If you didn't want to then you wouldn't of said yes to her.”

Lexa gasped, mouth falling open and closed a few times but no words escaping her. The comment hitting her straight in the chest. Her eyes never leaving Clarke as the blonde left the room.

She laid down, trying to keep her tears at bay. Why hadn't she been able to get her words out?

She was drifting off to sleep when she heard her phone ding. It was a Facebook notification for Aden's profile being updated. There were two photos of him and Clarke. One of their grinning faces pressed together, the other with Aden smiling as Clarke pressed a kiss to his cheek. The title read...

**Me and my girlfriend.**

She let out a full belly laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Drop me a line <3

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think!


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